• applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 days ago

      a hard truth is learning being trans wasnt the source of all your problems, so transitioning wont solve everything. itll solve some stuff, but we still gotta deal with the other stuff. i wish we didnt because personal growth is hard and hating myself is easy.

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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              5 days ago

              You can do it!

              And fr, I still was struggling a lot after I started transitioning. Dysphoria was my biggest problem, so I was a lot happier, but it took years of work including CBT to get to where I am now.

              • strawberry_enjoyer42@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                5 days ago

                I’m already in CBT, so that’s good. Honestly, I think my only real internal problem is my self-hatred, and the rest is environmental/situational.

                I dunno. I’m gonna try being sociable irl, since that’s something I keenly miss, and I’ll keep working on moving somewhere better.

                • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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                  5 days ago

                  Irl socialization is absolutely vital and I’m smacking myself for forgetting to include it. Tbh it may have been more important than the CBT, it’s just that I did it alongside coming out (got involved in queer community). And if you’re transfeminine I’ll also say it’s especially good to make friends with other transfeminine people.

                  And yeah, no amount or self work will make you feel good in a bad environment, but it can be better and it can help you get out.

                  Also, it’s important to acknowledge self hate for what it is: a cognitive distortion. Maybe it’s completely unfounded, but even if there are real bad things you’ve done, self hate doesn’t make you better, it isn’t a penance, if anything it’s a distraction from becoming someone you can be proud to be.

                  • strawberry_enjoyer42@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                    5 days ago

                    Huh. I haven’t thought of it that way. I gotta love myself to fix myself.

                    Also yeah, I really want to make friends with other transfemmes. Like, that’s one of the main reasons I’d want to move to a bigger city; it’ll be easier to find people like me (autistic gay trans catgirls).

                    I also kinda hope that I’ll make a friend that really enjoys my company and our friendship becomes… something really special. But that’s neither here nor there.