@FistingEnthusiast in most of america you cannot say that or you get blacklisted. I always just say well, not right now! Which really means hopefully never because their lives will be only suffering.
I find your “purpose and outlook” comment to be condescending, clichéd and pointless
You will spend the rest of your life justifying your choice, and the fact that you felt the need to do so, unprompted, to a complete stranger, who clearly does not give a fuck tells me that you know deep down that you fucked up
You weren’t CF for 35 years if you suddenly changed your mind
You either weren’t CF, or you had kids for some stupid reason, and now feel that you have to justify your “change of heart”
Yep. Having children necessitates becoming narcissistic. I’m sure parents don’t believe this, but to force existence into this world, and call it benevolent is just fucking lunacy. Work on making the world a better place before making new chattel.
I won’t believe you’re a better person just because you did the most animal thing there is, instead of the most human thing you can do and actually work towards a better existence for everyone
Mate, calm down. It was absolutely not my intention to condesend - quite the opposite. However, your reaction has shown me your true character and I am now absolutely convinced that fatherhood is not for you.
I think what riled that person up, is that the first thing people always tell you when they learn you don’t want children is “Oh you’ll change your mind!” or “I never knew children could be so great until I actually had them”, in an attempt to convince you to bang out some children against your wishes.
It gets really old, really fast, and your comment is down the same road.
Sure—folk sometimes share their lived experience, and sometimes they’re insensitive. I tried not to be, and had shared a genuine opinion, based on my own life. But remember, I also had no desire or interest in having children until I did. I’ve been on that side of the fence, and therefore felt comfortable sharing my experience of the other.
To some folk, it certainly stings when they face clumsy (but likely not malicious) questions about having a family. In my 36 years of living prior to parenthood, I genuinely have no recollection of being remotely challenged on my life choices. If I was asked, I expect I’d have laughed, safe in the knowledge that my choices were entirely my own.
That’s something that people deliberately ignore
There’s still so much stigma in being child-free that people make up more socially palatable excuses rather than just saying “I don’t want kids”
There is no part of my life that would be improved by having kids
Every part of my life would be less pleasant if I had kids
Simples.
@FistingEnthusiast in most of america you cannot say that or you get blacklisted. I always just say well, not right now! Which really means hopefully never because their lives will be only suffering.
Child-free for 35 years, then had 2 within 2 years. Entirely a personal decision and nobody should dictate to anyone else how they live their lives.
Needless to say my entire perspective has shifted. Its given me a purpose and an outlook I never dreamed I could have. Your mileage may vary.
Of course it shifted
I find your “purpose and outlook” comment to be condescending, clichéd and pointless
You will spend the rest of your life justifying your choice, and the fact that you felt the need to do so, unprompted, to a complete stranger, who clearly does not give a fuck tells me that you know deep down that you fucked up
You weren’t CF for 35 years if you suddenly changed your mind
You either weren’t CF, or you had kids for some stupid reason, and now feel that you have to justify your “change of heart”
Yep. Having children necessitates becoming narcissistic. I’m sure parents don’t believe this, but to force existence into this world, and call it benevolent is just fucking lunacy. Work on making the world a better place before making new chattel.
I won’t believe you’re a better person just because you did the most animal thing there is, instead of the most human thing you can do and actually work towards a better existence for everyone
Anything two idiot teenagers in the back of a car can achieve accidentally is not worthy of praise
Mate, calm down. It was absolutely not my intention to condesend - quite the opposite. However, your reaction has shown me your true character and I am now absolutely convinced that fatherhood is not for you.
I think what riled that person up, is that the first thing people always tell you when they learn you don’t want children is “Oh you’ll change your mind!” or “I never knew children could be so great until I actually had them”, in an attempt to convince you to bang out some children against your wishes.
It gets really old, really fast, and your comment is down the same road.
Sure—folk sometimes share their lived experience, and sometimes they’re insensitive. I tried not to be, and had shared a genuine opinion, based on my own life. But remember, I also had no desire or interest in having children until I did. I’ve been on that side of the fence, and therefore felt comfortable sharing my experience of the other.
To some folk, it certainly stings when they face clumsy (but likely not malicious) questions about having a family. In my 36 years of living prior to parenthood, I genuinely have no recollection of being remotely challenged on my life choices. If I was asked, I expect I’d have laughed, safe in the knowledge that my choices were entirely my own.
It’s impossible to stress how little your opinion matters to me
4chan is the other way
That’s quite a leap
I’d happily burn every incel, bigot and halfwit that uses 4chan
But, I’m sure you think you’re clever, or that you have somehow scored an imaginary point
Don’t forget there’s many legitimate reasons why people can’t have kids