I mean those people who you look at them and they have the body and responsibilities of a 43 year old but then you hear them talk about other people or other ethnicities or other situations that people are experiencing elsewhere and the person had might as well be a remorseless 3 year old that was raised wrongly… The thing that floors me is hen you meet a very old person, Im talking in their 60s or older, and they start spewing some of the most idiotic, narcisisstic garbage a person could ever talk of… ‘How have you spent all these years learning nothing?!’
Is it really THAT hard to break free of the chains of your terrible childhood and develop just a little empathy , understanding and humanity towards others? I DEFINITELY didnt have the best childhood seeing as how I was bullied and ostracized for decades , even by my parents lol, but I came to realize that ‘Hurt people will hurt people.’ so why am I going to go out of my way to be selfish and make more people who are hurt? But on the other hand I see , and Im sure most of you also have seen, that humans are not a very logicsl species sometimes. We have the potential to be more logical than Einstein but it doesnt always play out like that… We as a species do A LOOOT of things based on anti-logic, emotions, our pains, our traumas, or our cognitive distortions and this in turn sometimes creates more ‘hurt people’ …
Im not saying that humans have gotten worse over time cause anybody here can open up wikipedia and read about all the awful things we used to do to each other , if anything we have gotten better just a little bit. But why are there STILL in the year of 2026 people who choose to just not ‘grow up’ ?
TL;DR too many adults , and even seniors , Ive emcountered have illogical and sometimes psychopathic opinions . Why do so many people choose to not grow up and be more understanding?
What is your take on something like this?
The short version is that life is too easy.
Long version is that humans evolved in an environment where death could come from every corner you walked around. The people who made the world something that should revolve around their ideas of threats and fear were the ones that survived. Since the invention of civilization, those threats have become much more abstract but the human brain hasn’t changed that much. We keep looking for threats, but they aren’t there. Instead of accepting that they don’t exist, people decided that they must be hidden around every corner they can’t see around.
Curious why you expect it to have gotten better by the “year of 2026” when our genetics hasn’t meaningfully changed for a million years. Our bodies are predisposed to form tribes, hoard resources, and perpetrate atrocities that only exist at a scale enabled by civilization.
It won’t be solved until we wait a million years or use a CRISPR-like technology to fix our flaws.
As a species, we are not prepared for wide empathy. The farther some event is from us, the easier it becomes to dissociate from. What can compensate for this is nurture and culture but self reflection is a very dificult, even painful, exercise.
And to use your words against yourself, logic takes no part in this. Logic just denotes a sequence of events or concepts that, for the person experiencing or describing, hold value. Sometimes, we are able to correctly convey our logic to others and they gather a semblance of understanding on our thought process but that is all. Logic is not a sacred cow.
I personally find amusing hearing someone stating they act solely based on reasoning, as if that exempts them from their basal and underlying emotions.
We are not rational nor logic. We spend a lifetime mostly reacting to what surrounds us, droning through life. Existing, taking hold of your own conscience is a difficult task. Teaching others to do it, even more.
And you wonder why all you describe happens?
I dunno. Probably lots of lead poisoning, micro plastics crossing the blood-brain-barrier, other harmful stuff in our city-atmospheres and of course social media (for “old” folks facebook, for young people Instagram and tiktok). All of has fried our collective brains and tendencies for what you described increase because of it. But maybe that’s just an excuse to ascribe what’s wrong with people to something external.
I’ve read your post and some of your comments below the post.
I love you, bro. (No gender assumption.)
You are a good person. Be proud of yourself. ❤️
and yes I am a bro lol
Thank you for your kind words ❤️🩹🫂
they were raised during the boomer/gen x era, mysogyny and racism, and most of all ELITISM is quite abundant and pervasive back then. and on other platforms, the parents seem to resent thier children for not finding a job as soon as they graduated, they still think wallking in person to hand in your resume is still possible. and cant imagine Online applications to be that difficult. especially with all those layoffs, there were so many posts like these.
I agree with your edited version. As for causes, being a good parent seems to be one of the hardest things to do. To be honest it’s the main reason why I never wanted to have kids.
Your view of what adulthood should be is ironically child-like itself. There is no standard. You will lose a lot of energy focusing on how your way is obviously the right way and everyone else is wrong.
well you could be right but I feel like my outlook on adulthood cant really be compared to any others right now since I dont have a ton of experience on what a healthy adulthood oughta look like. Im only 30. When Im 55 or 75 I think Il bee far more qualified to speak on what a healthy adulthood looks like.
Im not putting you on the spot of anything but do you have anythings to recommend that I can compare my outlook on adulthood to to others’ to demonstrate the flaws I have on my outlook please? Its ok of you cant recommend anything other than me just talking to more adults. I know that I am heavily inexperienced because ya Im only 30 year olds and 30 year olds tend to not be the most experienced or have very good complex analysis of how a healthhy adulthood oughta look like.
Also yoyusaid that there is no standard. And yes I agree, I dont think there is a formal standard. BUT Personally I feel that there should be some sort of ‘social-contract-based’ or ‘informal’ standard as to whst a healthy adulthood oughta look like or look similar to. Like being a diehard nazi in your 60s or even your 40s or 20s is supposedly a good standard for adulthood for some…why? 🤨 I think most would disagree with that. The way I see it is that there are many things that the law allows an adult to do and get away with HOWEVER I do think that there should be certain things that are ‘informally-enforced’ by the social contract mosts adults have agreed on. Like being a fully grown adult who was caught in the Epstein Files or being an unafraid die hard nazi who has committed many hatr crimes should, in my opinion , cause an adult to be treated in 'certain ways ’ by the followers of the social contract , until they begin the process to pay reparations to affected groups of their barbarism. Am I wrong?
I read that casey anthony gets bullied occasionally because of her crimes that we ALL know she actually committed(pfft girl stop lying . We have you !) and…I have no problem with I read about there and I dont see it as a problem until she confesses completely and takes full accountability for all she has done. Theres also that one former nazi podcaster or video maker who gets treated awfully occasionally by many people in public, I forgot his name. But when I read stories of what happens to him nowadays…I have no problem with what I am reading as well. I wrong about this? I would highly doubt that Im wrong about this.
How are you any different from Christians trying to impose their god’s morality and rules on everyone else? You want people to be punished for things you personally consider to be immoral. This isn’t about adults acting like adults. You’re conflating maturity with morality, and you want to be the judge. I do believe you’re wrong about this. It may feel logical to you, but bullying someone until they confess to some moral failing is not logical to me, because morality is subjective. I understand if you feel like our current justice system isn’t enough, but that’s a separate issue. From your comments, it seems you want to go much farther than that and actually police the way people think.
I got into watching bodycam footage on YT recently and like half of these are 20 to 40 year olds crying for their mom, demanding the officers call their parents, etc. and unable to take responsibility for their actions, it’s absolutely wild how immature some people are.
forget only the bodycams have you seen the true crime stories that come out on some of these idoots after they get arrested and charged?
Theres that one guy who drove his car through all those people during that parade before he got arrested . Apparently he had impregnated a 12 year old before that… Ah! darrell brooks was his name. He really thinks that his scizophrenia diagnosis will allow him to act like an incorrectly raised 12 year old in this forever and be forgiven EVERY time… 😐
I remember seeing another bodycam of a man who was in his 40s who when he was getting arrested for taking inappropriate pictures of young girls at a Krampus event he said ‘My mom’s a lawyer! Im calling my mom’ to the officers… 😐
…Like…dude…hello?!
I’ve noticed that there are two distinct mindsets in people who have been hurt in one way or another.
The first is “I had it bad, so I don’t want others to experience the same.”
The second is “I had it bad, so why would anyone else have it better?”
I think they genuinely feel cheated when someone else gets something they never got. And they take it out on the people who did get that thing instead of holding the people accountable who denied them that thing. Even if they didn’t deserve to get hurt, that is a shitty outlook to have on life and it’s not going to do anyone any good.
I’ve seen both of these views. In my experience, the second often follows the first. After the person has tried to be an amazing person, often for years, and then their entire society refuses to let them.
Also something that embitters me about society js that we as people have such an easy time treating someone like a monster and eveb turning them into a monster…
But then when this hurt person wants to find resourfes and people to deal with their trauma , trauma that theyve recently have realized has broken them thoroughly and makes them think in awful ways, such as a community or a ‘tribe’ of their own to get connected to , very cheeap publicly funded mental health interventions and medications we typicaally dont have those things for that person or each of those rhings is available in varying amounts for different people.
Humans NEED community. Humans NEED physical affection. Humans NEED appreciation. Humans NEED occasional vulnerableness. Humans sometimes NEED mental health care. Humans NEED a lot of things that many of our current societies says that a person should feel guilty that they need these things. What I mean is I find it oodd that many humans are treated in inhuman ways but then mostt people in society act surprised when that bullied or impoverished or ostracized person in psrticular acts in inhuman ways. We are not allowed to create a monster then be surprised that we have created a monster…
But then my question becomes why do most adults just accept this modern sick society that creates monsters and acts surprised when these same harmed people act out in monstrous ways? Where have been the mass rebellions for change that most adults should be partaking in if they want to see permanent positive changes?
“It is no measure of ‘health’ to be seen as ‘healthy’ in societies that are so profoundly sick” -Kishnamurti
Im very sorry for your pain. If itll help I dont think youre as sick as those who treated you in disgusting ways thought. I dont think youre a monster all because you desire what humans need which is community.
I don’t need therapy. I needed a group.
I wasn’t the one that was damaged. Society was.
Thank you for saying this.
I think that theres another aspect to this flawed outlook on life that I want to point out . Like if someone feels cheated by others who got something they didnt get and they feel bitter about this and then they make efforts to harm and exclude those who got that thing, doesnt that make them get trapped in sort of a cycle where they continually isolate others who got that thing , even the people of that group who could genuinely help them?
Like if you get bullied by a bunch of White people simply cause youre not White and you decide to just completely ostracise all White people? THAT is a bad plan. Youre ostracizing an entire group of people , there are many different types of people in each groups of peoples. There are clearly many White people who knows that all non-White people are their equals and treat them as such. If you feel bitter towards all White people you will miss out on important life lessoms that some of them can teach you and even some important life lessons you can teach them. If you feel saddened cause your mom or dad or both said that they will never raise you or see you again when you were younger , being bitter towards people who had been raised by both parents is bad cause some of them have important life lessons about being raised by both parents that you may never have had heard otherwise.
You can even apply this lesson in other ways. Like all because some Muslims are hardcore Saudi-prince-loving wahhabists that doesnt mean you should ostracize them all. All because some French people support the current colonization of Kanaky that doesnt mean all French people do so ostracizjng all french people is nonsensical. You could apply this to any group. A few bad apples doesnt ruin the fresh bunch.
I used to have A LOOOT of internalized racism. I saw Black people as not worthy of listening to even though I myself am Black. I basically saw only White people as worthy of listening to about ANY topic. You should have seen my jaw hit the floor when I realized that there were Black people out there with doctorates who were equally as qualified and knowledgable of certain subjects as any equally qualified White person. I was even more shocked when I started watching videos of Nlack people who went through similar experiences as me and were talking in depth about it!
what do you get when you spend decades eroding a social system that prunes itself and replace it with a social structure that allows inclusive shameless adults that receive little to no punishment?
EXACTLY!
Fuck capitalism and crapitalists!
There are a lot of people in the world, somr will be like that. Besides we are not logical beings, sure logic has helped us a lot but there is no logical thing to do if you are not following or chasing something usually defined by emotions. A goal, a feeling, moral compasses and a lot of other stuff.
Also sometimes people don’t know they are even hurt or at least deny it which makes the healing process a lot harder if well, they don’t want to heal.
I believe everyone learns something, every piece of information you process and stuff you deduce in your enviroment, people telling you stuff. Some stuff will be useless long term of course, other will be easier to forget. And if you just spend your life changing pleasure or something, without exploring different perspectives aside from your own, staying in the same circle and using bad coping mechanisms I see it unlikely you will learn much, specially if the circle discourages this stuff and critical thinking and you just distract yourself through life.
If the people around you don’t grow and that’s all you know, and have a possitive perspective around those people it’s harder that you grow too.
Also those people are unlikely to be psycopaths. Psycopaths are usually calculative and would not let you know they don’t feel empathy. Of course some psycopaths can be good people even without feeling empathy, some could not be so smart and yea yea. Sociopaths are usually more impulsive too from my understanding. I doubt those people are any of those, probably just more like “those people are different” and that’s hoe they feel no empathy for them. When you see people as others, outsiders, enemies, different or maybe not even human it can be less likely for you to feel empathy for them.
or idk i don’t know how humans work.
not hating on anything you wrote I think its mostly correct.
But I thought the DSM classified sociopaths and psychoapths as the same thing no? They said that theure just gonna generalize the two terms as both meaning Antisocial Personality Disorder if mymemory is correct
Yea probs, the terms are deprecated from what I know but I am very sure sociapath was by nurture and psycopath by nature and that.
One of the great struggles of humanity is ‘cognitive load.’ Thinking, even if you have a very efficient brain, takes effort, and more advanced thought requires more effort. In hierarchies, part of the power dynamic consists of the displacement of cognitive load. The higher powered individuals don’t think about what the lower powered individuals think, and, with enough power, not even the collective. The lower powered individuals, though, must consider the desires of those with higher power in order to make their way through the world. They have to expend effort, to carry the cognitive load.
Those adult children you are talking about are those who have not had to carry the load. People generally don’t expend effort they are not forced to, so why would they go to the effort of considering the effects of their actions on others when their life has taught them that’s the job of those lower than them? Or that they can do what they want without expending the effort and not only not be punished, but get ahead in life because their society runs on psychopathy?
As you allude to in your first line, it’s a mostly invisible disability. It’s also one that is difficult to fix past a certain point, and that point of correction has been actively sabotaged for at least the past 23 years (in the USA).
I think it’s because they gravitate to jobs and social circles where everyone else behaves similarly and expresses similar views.
