I can’t speak for her in general and I’m not gonna, but some of what you said sounds like purity culture to me. Either way I don’t believe we’re entitled to our spouse’s bodies or to sex. Masturbation is healthy.
Masturbation tends to be preceded by pornography. Pornography sells people’s bodies, is flooded with anti-woman violence and racial stereotypes. China and Cuba block it for a reason. And I remind that joke from “Dude where is my car”. I hope mentioning the joke is not homophobic. If you tell me, I can edit it out.
Dude A and B were threatened by a cop.
Dude B told the cop: Dude A will suck your dick, then you will let us go.
The homophobic cop replied: What do you think I am, a homosexual!?
Dude B: OK, so Dude A will suck my dick, and you watch, and masturbate.
The closeted gay cop: Oh, that works!
The joke is that watching two men have sex and masturbating is about as gay as actually having sex with a man.
Does not the same hold for watching a woman have sex, and masturbating? Is that not about as adulterous as having sex with the woman?
Masturbation is inferior in every respect. Is has zero affection, it is less pleasing, less fun, less everything.
Either way I don’t believe we’re entitled to our spouse’s bodies or to sex.
That is mostly true, but cannot be applied as a ivory tower dogma. People learn theories and use them to judge the particular circumstance of couples they never met. Like a couple gets married, both have issues, and both suffer. One consequence is that they have almost no sex, which is terrible to one with libido. Then people pontificate: the side with libido should just live their entire life without sex. And the part who lacks libido should continue to have brutal headaches twice or thrice a week, as she believes “therapy is for the weak”. In no event can the husband demand she have therapy. Dogma is everything, material reality is nothing.
It is analogous to conservative priests.
Someone tells him: lifelong marriage is beautiful, but what about women who are physically abused by their husband?
The priest pontificates: she must take the children to her parent’s house, then raise them without a father, and she must live without a husband for her entire life. In no event can we tolerate she have a second union, because my dogma allows me to pontificate about couples I never met.
Masturbation is inferior in every respect. Is has zero affection, it is less pleasing, less fun, less everything.
It’s less coercive than expecting sex from another person who clearly doesn’t want to have sex. If the main issue with your frustration is physical then this is the most straightforward solution. If it’s more psychological then there’s other things you can do to not put so much weight on that. For example most men seem to get taught that not fucking makes them losers and that’s just untrue, unlearning harmful conditioning is good for all parties.
OK, let’s be clear. You are pontificating based on what? Have you studied sexual medicine? Gynecology? Physiotherapy?Psychology? Do know me or my wife?
40% of women experience dyspareunia (painful intercourse), and often never realize it’s treatable, or they take long to realize. My wife’s physiotherapist had a 60-years old patient. Additionally, libido naturally varies between individuals, meaning couples with mismatched desires must both adapt.
These physical factors are often compounded by psychological barriers, such as sexually repressive upbringings and stigma surrounding therapy. When a woman is unaware that her condition is treatable, she may deflect blame rather than seek help. Framing sexual difficulties as solely a husband’s fault only reinforces this resistance. Blame narratives prevent women from accessing the care they need.
I can’t speak for her in general and I’m not gonna, but some of what you said sounds like purity culture to me. Either way I don’t believe we’re entitled to our spouse’s bodies or to sex. Masturbation is healthy.
Masturbation tends to be preceded by pornography. Pornography sells people’s bodies, is flooded with anti-woman violence and racial stereotypes. China and Cuba block it for a reason. And I remind that joke from “Dude where is my car”. I hope mentioning the joke is not homophobic. If you tell me, I can edit it out.
Dude A and B were threatened by a cop.
The joke is that watching two men have sex and masturbating is about as gay as actually having sex with a man.
Does not the same hold for watching a woman have sex, and masturbating? Is that not about as adulterous as having sex with the woman?
Masturbation is inferior in every respect. Is has zero affection, it is less pleasing, less fun, less everything.
That is mostly true, but cannot be applied as a ivory tower dogma. People learn theories and use them to judge the particular circumstance of couples they never met. Like a couple gets married, both have issues, and both suffer. One consequence is that they have almost no sex, which is terrible to one with libido. Then people pontificate: the side with libido should just live their entire life without sex. And the part who lacks libido should continue to have brutal headaches twice or thrice a week, as she believes “therapy is for the weak”. In no event can the husband demand she have therapy. Dogma is everything, material reality is nothing.
It is analogous to conservative priests. Someone tells him: lifelong marriage is beautiful, but what about women who are physically abused by their husband? The priest pontificates: she must take the children to her parent’s house, then raise them without a father, and she must live without a husband for her entire life. In no event can we tolerate she have a second union, because my dogma allows me to pontificate about couples I never met.
It’s less coercive than expecting sex from another person who clearly doesn’t want to have sex. If the main issue with your frustration is physical then this is the most straightforward solution. If it’s more psychological then there’s other things you can do to not put so much weight on that. For example most men seem to get taught that not fucking makes them losers and that’s just untrue, unlearning harmful conditioning is good for all parties.
OK, let’s be clear. You are pontificating based on what? Have you studied sexual medicine? Gynecology? Physiotherapy?Psychology? Do know me or my wife?
40% of women experience dyspareunia (painful intercourse), and often never realize it’s treatable, or they take long to realize. My wife’s physiotherapist had a 60-years old patient. Additionally, libido naturally varies between individuals, meaning couples with mismatched desires must both adapt.
https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/womens-sexual-health-when-being-intimate-hurts
These physical factors are often compounded by psychological barriers, such as sexually repressive upbringings and stigma surrounding therapy. When a woman is unaware that her condition is treatable, she may deflect blame rather than seek help. Framing sexual difficulties as solely a husband’s fault only reinforces this resistance. Blame narratives prevent women from accessing the care they need.
I’m defending bodily autonomy. If someone says no, it’s no, and that’s it.