If I don’t take meds I feel I should be doing things and then feel bad when I don’t.

Or if I do take meds I get a lot of things done and feel productive but zaped of energy.

Hobbies are either invested in and dropped or I just feel ‘bored’ and don’t want to get any of the stuff out to do them. If they stick around a bit longer they then feel like a chore or become a larger project and just another thing in the to-do pile and not relaxing.

Where is the off button and how do I relax?

  • canthangmightstain@lemmy.todayEnglish
    0·
    6 days ago
    1. Weed does this. It’s also addictive though so it’s a very figurative double-edged sword imo.
    2. I also do a sort of… transactional thing with myself. I can’t seem to relax unless I’ve “earned it” I guess? And sometimes even when I’m “relaxing” I feel like I could be making progress on one thing or another. So if I ever can’t relax because I’m thinking about something that needs to be done it I just… do it… poorly. No follow through. Check work emails but don’t take any action or even mark them as read. Start mowing the lawn but just pick up the yard and make sure the mower starts and has gas. “Do laundry” by dumping all my clothes in a big pile.

    Normally any of those tasks would take me hours because I want to do them properly but since it’s relaxing time I just do the bare minimum to get my mind off it. I’ll get back to it later, when it’s time for it.