Hello guys, I hope that you’re all doing well, I found out about this place through my friend, you might know him as Kirby so let’s just call him that. We all know that the internet is a wasteland as far as leftist spaces go and that’s the reason he was on this website for years in the first place.
As far as I know he was banned many months ago for some reason(he didn’t tell me, he just told he was banned and gave up on it), but since then he doesn’t have a leftist space to go since reddit pretty much purged those some time ago and the same thing on other social media, left is dead in real life here and not to mention constant western oriented content, comments and news, it got particularly intense lately.
During the recent events in the past few months, Kirby is on downward spiral and his sanity is worrying me. Almost every time we met he had unhinged rants about western white people, how he wants Yellowstone to explode and destroy United States after every non-western is evacuated, how he wants to watch cartels execute white Americans, especially republicans, how he personally wants to kill every western and western-aligned leader starting with American presidents and Erdogan and is cheering on NATO infighting over Greenland. Being a leftist, I also heavily dislike the west, but I wouldn’t want a nuclear war or volcanic cataclysm to take place because of it, he was always hating on west, but never said stuff this unhinged, stuff that I wrote isn’t even scratching the surface of everything he said. When he’s on PC and not on the internet, he’s playing GTA V and constantly killing cops and in the past few weeks downloaded probably every single game where you can kill American soldiers.
His most recent rant which I had to listen to was 3 days ago and it was about how ‘‘westerners destroyed/ruined Godzilla’’, it went on and on for an entire hour however unbelievable that sounds and it was… interesting to say the least… Certainly more so than his usual constant rants about vampires in western media. I’m not into Godzilla and I just casually watched a couple of movies some years ago and so I didn’t understand more than half the stuff he said.
He has a brother and sister, I’ve been hanging around with his brother almost just as much as with him during school and he’s pretty much the same in opinions except he’s level headed and doesn’t have bursts of anger. His older sister also shares same opinions, is extremely LGBT phobic, goes on rants and introduced him to Terrifier movies, so that’s all you need to know about her sanity. So family isn’t going to help in this in any way.
I know him since 2012, we grew up together and am extremely saddened to see him go from a silly guy with dark humor to this… Since he’s been here for years, you probably know how he was online unlike me, so please, If you have some advice or any way to help, to bring him back and talk to him, tell me, why did this happen to him all of a sudden.
Thank you in advance.
Kirby talked down to me while spouting men’s rights talking points and also denied ever saying anything transphobic in the same thread. Considering the fact that he didn’t tell you anything about his ban I doubt he has reflected even in the slightest about it. I am personally not comfortable having him back, because he seemed to take it upon himself to take over every thread at the time that was about queerness or sexism, choking out the possibility for anyone learning or understanding about them while at the same time making it unsafe for queer and femme comrades. Can you honestly tell me that he wouldn’t do that again?
There are a couple comrades on this thread who have said that they would be fine with having him back, and while I usually appreciate their analysis, I am a bit skeptical of their seriousness to combat transphobia as a result.
He didn’t mention it, but from my personal experience with him irl, he never had anything against LGBT, we had one gay classmate during school and he was completely cool with him, unlike his older sister. He’s definitely not sexist considering that he’s always advocating for gender equality and called males who I quote ‘‘don’t have a wife who is dominant’’ pussies so.
He never mentioned LGBT in one of his rants these past months and I confidently say that whatever opinions he had were definitely influenced by his older sister.
I’m sorry, but saying he wasn’t queerphobic around you does not address the issue when you were just presented with a litany of examples of a pattern of behavior over time. We don’t know you, we don’t know your ability to address or identify queerphobia, and we have experienced a very different person from the one you described as articulated in the many queerphobic things he has said that have been linked here.
It’s not that I don’t feel bad for someone having a mental crisis. It’s very serious and he should get help. But that’s also not a good reason to let him back into a community in which he has caused harm, especially when there’s no discernible proof of him having grown and learned from the harm he has caused.
I know him since 2012, he never had anything against people of different sexual orientation, even though that wasn’t a big thing here and was looked down upon when we went to school together, he himself is an asexual, so I can certainly say that unlike his sister, he was never homophobic.
This is the last time I will reply to you because it doesn’t seem like anything anyone is saying about his behavior is resonating with you. You believe he’s not, but we have provided proof that he is multiple times to the point that he became hostile. It shows a lack of respect for queer, trans, and intersex comrades for you to be repeatedly shown proof and then turn around and say he’s not. You didn’t write those words, we didn’t write those words, he did - and this is one of the last corners of the internet where we can exist without our existence being called into question with no consequences. If I recall, this isn’t the first time you’ve asked. I’m asking you to respect that he caused harm to this community and unless he does self-crit and grows (which he hasn’t), you shouldn’t expect him to be welcomed back.
I’ve just read it, he never even mentioned gay people, he was talking about his LGBT phobic family members and how there is 2 genders/sexes, so how exactly did you come to conclusion that he himself homophobic?
If that’s your conclusion then you were never equipped to have this conversation in the first place. I’m sure somebody will be willing to explain it to you, but I’m not.
Ok then, show me exactly where did he said something homophobic? I didn’t see where did he insult gay people.
This is the most obvious alt I have ever seen lmao
The magical friend who shows up 14 hours after Kirby’s ban, no posts or comments beyond this one, and the same speech mannerisms
So your friend is an unhinged transphobe and people are talking about unbanning? Shouldn’t lemmygrad worry about it’s users here, especially our trans comrades, than to allow folks to spread hate?
Like sorry your friend is in a bad place but lemmy isn’t a therapists couch.
I’m the person who argued with Kirby last, the one who tried to get him to understand that his opinions on trans and intersex people are bigoted shit and he needs to change them. He (and his brother) were entirely unwilling to listen to me. Kirby’s first comment back after a month long temp ban was to jump right back in to his argument with me.
So I’m wary of him. However, if he promises to not make any comments about gender or sexuality and as long as he is not made a moderator, I would be quite ok with unbanning him. As long we’re all on the same page that further queer- or intersex-phobia will get him immediately banned again, I say go ahead and unban him
He didn’t mention anything about it, but his sister is extremely LGBT phobic so that was definitely influenced by her considering that he never had anything about LGBT folks in real life.
so that was definitely influenced by her
Oh cool, so Kirby only has bigoted beliefs because his sister has them. Is Kirby incapable of independent thought?
I also don’t care what Kirby told you about his ban. The inciting incident has been linked multiple times in this thread. There’s also a link to a separate thread in which he repeatedly doubles down on bigotry, on a different topic. You can read these for yourself and see the disgusting bigotry on display.
I’ve changed my mind about being ok with him coming back. I hadn’t realized him doubling down on bigotry was a pattern. Now that I see it is, no thanks.
Firstly, he didn’t tell me anything about it beyond the fact that he was banned and he didn’t mentioned it since because he most probably forgot about this website, don’t blame me for his doings, I didn’t know every detail about what he’s doing on social media. The only reason I came here to ask for help, advice or someone to talk to him because I ran out of options after the past few months and am saddened to see my friend whom I know since 2012 be in this situation.
He was never against towards people of different sexual orientation, even though that wasn’t a big thing here and was looked down upon when we went to school together, he himself is an asexual. So far from what I’ve read in comments, it was a matter of gender or sex and not the sexual orientation per see. I’m not a biologist or a doctor so I can’t say for sure, but since we’re from Eastern Europe/Balkans, people don’t care about this here at all, the consensus is that there’s male and female and then a person is either attracted to one, both or no one.
As for his sister, she’s openly hostile to LGBT and despises gay women and trans people in particular, same thing with his mother and his step father is a Muslim so it’s really a miracle that he isn’t LGBT phobic.
it’s really a miracle that he isn’t LGBT phobic.
He sure is queerphobic, in that he refuses to change the queerphobic beliefs he clearly holds.
I don’t know why you keep repeating this line as though it’s true. It isn’t.
He never had anything against gay people, unlike most of his family, so he isn’t.
A lot of racists have black friends
Kirby went on several unhinged rants insulting other members of our communities and by the look of your post he has 1) not learned a fucking thing in the meantime and 2) is not sorry about his behavior, so personally I see no reason to unban
