I have a destination in mind as an emergency, but it does not have a permanent place of residence for me, so I might have to consider other options. I know that being homeless is an awful life, but I consider staying where I am an even worse possibility. I am considering running away because I cannot deal with the incompetence from my parents regarding so many things from empathy to cleaning the house (and they did even worse things to me… but that is too dark for this post).
For context, neither college nor working are suitable options for me because I am too traumatized from bad experiences in college and do not want to spend years getting a degree when the idea of constantly doing work for unknown benefits (degrees are becoming less valuable over time) hits my head, and no one is willing to hire me with my pathetic resume (I worked as a front-desk person at a place, and I volunteered at a store, but that is it).
I am not sure if I stated this already, but I live in Florida if anyone was wondering (revealing the state I live in is a risk that I feel like I have to take due to my potentially dire future circumstances).
Edit: For additional context, I cannot drive anymore due to trauma and just not being good at driving in general. I also live in a semi-rural place so a cab might be somewhat expensive.
Helpx hosts in Florida - Helpx is meant for travelers to do some work at a place (usually, it’s small businesses like hostels, tutoring centers, and small farms, but also some personal homes hosting guests) in exchange for room and board as a way of making traveling cheaper. It’s a good way to meet people and to get a place to stay for a while. I have personally used it and had good experiences with hosts. Some hosts even took me on for longer than advertised, some contacted me again offering a second stay, others have offered to hire me formally. Some hosts will truly make you work hard like a regular job and some just want you to help out a little and hang out with you.
I agree with the other comments so far on the priority of getting a job and how to get one and how to get housing. Prioritize those things. Right now while you have a place to live and some other resources is the most certainty you will have for a while if you end up leaving. So try and get a job and new housing ASAP while still housed. In my suggestions below I mention a few times about places to meet people. Meeting people and making community connections is also important now because knowing more people you can find out about more helpful organizations and resources as well as jobs and places to live. And potentially form mutual aid organizations.
So, here’s some things I would suggest. I have not been homeless but these things are good if you don’t have a lot of money nor a great/safe living situation and want/need to spend a lot of time out of the place you’re staying. I imagine some could still be helpful while unhoused.
If you are able to, start scouting out around you which places have wifi. Sometimes restaurants will offer it for guests (and you can just access it from outside). Libraries usually have it. In my experience, some laundromats have wifi. You may need to go inside or on their website for the password initially. If you’re lucky you can find a spot where you don’t have to go inside and where multiple businesses next to each other have wifi or have a long range so you can move around a bit and not get spotted for “loitering.”
Libraries are also good to check out. You should see what the libraries near you offer and what their hours are. Some libraries let you check out mobile hotspots. Some let you check out chromebooks that come with data so you can get online anywhere. Even if the libraries in your area don’t have this, they probably at least have a bathroom and places to sit. You should get a library card for each library system in your area now while you still have an address. They may ask for some proof of your address like ID or a piece of mail.
Laundromats are a good place for a few reasons. One is they can be a safe place to sit down indoors for a while. Another is they usually have a sink, which is good if you need a little bit of water for something. It’s also a common place for people to post adverts looking to rent out a room and such.
I don’t know if you are near the coast, but beaches sometimes have shower facilities. Campgrounds too. I’ve been to an RV park that had a shower facility, not sure how common that is. You will have to scout out your local area to see what there is. A spray bottle can help you get clean when you don’t have a shower as an option. For example in a public bathroom stall you can partly undress and spray yourself. This is better than trying to just use a bathroom sink where people might see you. Spray bottle also makes no puddle around you and doesn’t drip or get the clothes you’re still wearing too wet.
Find out where the recycling facilities are near you. It seems that Florida doesn’t have a set deposit for beverage containers but I would think there are still places to which you can sell bottles and cans and other recyclables. If you have a job with chill non-judgemental coworkers you can keep a bag in the breakroom to collect everyone’s bottles to recycle.
Find out the hours of your local food pantry programs if you have any nearby. There may be specific requirements, a waitlist or only certain days of the month you can go, it will vary widely, so look into it while you have time.
Find out if there are any progressive religious organizations in your area. These can be a mixed bag but I have had good experiences with some programs run on church premises that didn’t do any evangelizing and were truly focused on hosting progressive community organizations without discrimination. Mainly, these were good places to meet people and ask people about other organizations they knew about.
Find out which places around you are open 24 hours or until late at night.
If you are out a lot and can’t find good places to sit, get a little folding stool that folds up flat and keep it in your backpack. Look up “folding laundry stool” to see the type I mean. It can help you be comfortable in more places and keep your clothes more clean.
Find out everything about your local public transportation. Look at their website, read any booklets they have. You might find extra services listed in there. For example a bus system around you might offer late night shuttle services you can call after the usual bus schedule. Maybe getting a transportation card takes a small amount off the ride fee. This will vary widely because every local system will be different.
It’s been a long time since I dumpster dove and I am worried about giving you bad advice. So I will just say: it’s possible to get good stuff from dumpsters. But I would recommend waiting till you have a local friend who knows the safe places to do it at.
You might also try to see if there are any gleaning organization in your area and if they can either point you toward where you can find a food pantry, or if they might take you on as a worker: https://nationalgleaningproject.org/gleaning-map/ Note, I have never gotten involved with a gleaning org I just know they exist and have met someone who did that. I imagine they would at the least be a place where you can meet some people. Same goes for community gardens if there are any in your area.
Thank you for the helpx idea! This type of thing might be what I need! It might also be a launchpad for future work that requires more hours a week and stuff (i am not sure if jumping into an 8 to 9-hour job right away is a good idea, even if I could get such a job).
Again, I struggle with social anxiety, but I will have to communicate with others eventually, so I will try.
The library advice is definitely good (always got to have that knowledge fall into my brain), but I do not regularly get mail from any bank or government office because I do not deal with them directly (and it would scare me if I tried to).
How do I get a PO box?
Ok, so immediate priorities are to get a job and some form of shelter (apartments might be viable due to me having some savings at the moment), while a secondary goal is to deal with my social anxiety somehow. Also, sorry that my reply was not nearly as long as your comment: I simply have little else to add.
Re-reading my post I see I unintentionally made Helpx sound flawless but I agree with other comments that you should definitely be cautious going into it, especially since you don’t have a lot of work experience, so you probably still need to gain a stronger idea of your own boundaries and what is acceptable in a workplace (both in general and to you specifically). I should have made that clear. Every host will be different. When you first start you should stay with some shorter term ones so you can see the vast differences between hosts early on, and get used to the idea that you can just leave if the situation is too messed up with a particular host. Keep in mind it is a travel site meant for people to have fun basically, and not actually meant to gain ridiculous amounts of unpaid labor from you even though some hosts will try to make you work a lot - which can be bad or it it can be “fine” depending on what you ultimately want out of the arrangement. Personally I have ended up putting some of my longer-term volunteering stints on there on my resume, and I probably could have gotten one of my hosts to write me a reference letter if I had thought about it. But the work at some of them was quite stressful. While at others it was relaxed and fun. And from a different one of these things like HelpX, I think it was WWOOF, I once met someone who said one of their previous WWOOF experiences felt like a cult and they had to leave. So, be cautious, and start with small stays, and leave if you are uncomfortable.
Signing up for a PO box is pretty easy. It’s going to cost somewhere around $20 a month probably and it looks like they make you start off with a 3-month payment. Read up on it here: https://www.usps.com/manage/po-boxes.htm - Because of the fee, I think you should hold off on getting one until you really know you will need one. When I got one I think I just walked into the post office and said “How can I set up a PO box?” and they helped me. I think they needed my ID and my proof of address (again, this often comes from some official mail of some kind but I don’t remember what I used, my ID might have been enough). Then you pay and they give you a key/combination number and you can come check your box any time because it’s usually in a separate part of the post office that is always open. If you get a big delivery like a box then you ask for it during normal hours at the counter.
It’s worth it to see if you can sign up for the library with just your ID. Each library system will have its own slightly different requirements.
As for getting some “official” mail for address proving purposes, you could try applying to something like food stamps or health care or other assistance online, you’ll probably get some kind of letter from them even if you don’t get enrolled, and you can hang on to that letter with your name and address visible and that can likely work for this purpose. Edit: I forgot in your original post you mentioned you were in college at some point, you could also order a transcript to be mailed to you, maybe that would work too.
I get it, I just need to be careful and vet who I could work for. Thanks for the advice, and it is fine to change how you originally portrayed something because people make mistakes. I am glad to hear that I can leave if I feel uncomfortable.
It turns out I do have some mail from my state’s government, so that could work.
I “was” in college, but I took time off and am not sure if I want to go back (it is unlikely).
For social anxiety, see if there is a theater doing improv 101 classes and if so check if they will allow a work trade for free or reduced classes. It’s a very effective way to actively practice getting over social anxiety, loosen up, etc in a mostly judgement free zone. Also a good place to potentially build community and that’s one of the more important long term ways to gain stability
I am not really into improv though. I guess the community aspect is good, but again, I am not interested in that sort of thing.
Yes, many people not into improv go to a 101 class specifically to work out the social anxiety aspect in a controlled setting. There are not a lot of environments available for that which are more or less judgment free. Either way, I’m sure you’ll figure out what works for you
+1 to all of this, it is very good practical advise for while you are unhoused
… it is slightly funny that you proceeded to criticize helpx due to potential toxicity and stuff, but I agree to what newbeans has said.
I had already addressed that elsewhere and generally agree with putting yourself out there and trying to find opportunities but still think anyone in a vulnerable position should be wary of getting into such an uneven power dynamic without at least really building trust with the person in a way that you are not reliant on them for one or more of your needs.