I myself experience sexual attraction to both masculine and feminine people, leaning strongly toward feminine, but I have a hard time imagining myself being with a binary man. It feels a bit awkward to identify as a bi woman sometimes because my sexual attraction for men just kind of exists, yet I don’t feel entirely comfortable identifying as a lesbian for the same reason. I just learned about the bi-lesbian flag/identity and it feels more right to me because I don’t want to erase by bisexuality, even if I never choose to act on my sexual attraction to men. Curious what others think.
Yeah militant lesbians being really defensive about the term only applying to wlw exclusively is what gives me pause identifying as a lesbian. You still hear about drama in the lesbian community when someone dates/fucks a man (or so I’ve heard).
I’ve heard people make the claim that bisexual is transphobic but that never really sat right with me because it’s a literalist interpretation of the word and in the end just feels like an unnecessarily anal semantic argument at best, and another example of bi erasure at worst. Words mean things beyond their etymological roots, so bisexual doesn’t literally mean only attracted to two genders, it means attracted to multiple genders, at least that’s how I use it and how bisexual people have historically used it.
Honestly at this point I don’t think I’ll be dating anyone who isn’t queer anyway, so any confusion would be pretty easy to resolve. The only option for me dating someone who isn’t queer would be cishet men and they are the group I’m least interested in lol.