I had just gotten out of the pool!
There was shrinkage!
The only way to get an accurate measurement is to cut the branch off first.
The branch cannot be cut.
The branch is ~4.5" in girth and attempting to cut it off could cause discomfort
But you’re supposed to measure it twice before that!
One each side I guess?
I just had some serious flashbacks to all the fucking Handy Manny I’ve watched. Thanks for that. 👍🏻
The cylindet MUST stay intact!
I came here to say this. Take your stupid upvote.
🎵Detachable tree branch🎵
It is imperative that the cylinder and the larger object remain unharmed.
“It’s a meat cylinder”
Measure from the roots
The generally accepted method used by scientists is to firmly push your ruler against the base of tree at the top of the branch. This is called BPEL, or bark-pressed erect length.
Hehe hehe erect
The correct way is to see how deep into a Pringle it can go. For an accurate measure, you’ll need to prevent angled entry. You can help it slide in straight by using a couple guiding sponges on either side of a latex glove attached to the rim pushed up inside it. Put a bit of Vaseline in the glove to prevent tearing the glove with the rough bark. For maximum safety, put the jar of Vaseline in a warm water bath for a few minutes beforehand to make the viscosity better for smooth entry and exit.
I don’t think you need to prevent angled entry; take the deepest measurement achieved at any angle.
You working with a micro twig? Someone’s trimming back the foliage can help make it seem longer.
That sounds like an awful lot of effort just to jack off a tree branch
gasp! clutches pearls
How dare you imply such vulgarity about my branch measuring device.
I can’t use method B, the tree fruit are in the way.
The correct answer is “between 114 and 152 millimeters” because both measures are relevant and necessary from an engineering standpoint: For the purposes of sizing something such that it can utilize the branch for support, it must be made clear that the branch is solid and whole up to 114 millimeters from the trunk. For the purpose of accidental collision clearance, it is necessary to know the furthest extent of the branch’s reach no matter how damaged or distupted it is. Furthermore if the branch may break and fall off, giving it at least 152mm of clearance means that it is unlikely to accidentally catch upon something in its descent even if it “hinges” away from the trunk at the base.
But then you’d need to know the angle, too.
The larger length, even if it’s at a near vertical acute angle, is likely to tumble if it breaks–which means the whole reason we’re interested in its measurement is a situation where the angle is no longer fixed
Then you’d still be interested in the length at 45 degrees, the farthest possible distance.
The radius of a circle is a fixed distance from its origin at every angle.It’s still the same number of milimeters distal of the trunk from the pivot point.
The concern regarding clearance would be horizontal, parallel to the surface of the Earth, roughly perpendicular to the trunk, so perpendicular distance from the trunk would be what matters. If the branch were fifty miles long but only went straight up, there would be zero horizontal clearance.
you will find that if the branch snaps from the trunk, its perpendicular distance will be exactly the same number of milimeters.
My friend says “ouch wtf!!!”
Nevermind the measurement. How are you going to use the branch?
Branches and other small cylinders can be sized using M&M tubes
Banana for scale
The cylinder must remain unharmed
This changes everything
This can be easily calculated by the formula [(length x diameter) + (Weight / Girth)] / Angle of Tip 2
This is the way. You have to account for the yaw of the shaft
What if there is a knot at the base of the branch?
Then you might be measuring a werewolf. Seek professional help.
(I am a professional and can help you measure the knot.)
;)
Burl wood can be quite valuable so you should try to keep that part in one piece
You measure from the back of the balls.
From the edge of the anus of course… the further edge.
Or… from the base of the skull. The only accurate measurement.
If you trim the bushes the branch looks bigger. Pro tip.
None of them are. You need a graduated cylinder.
282 cm3 here.
