I don’t appreciate your last sentence.

Fair point. I hope I didn’t sound like a dick.

You have a good point, but my thing is that I already don’t have much.

For number 2, I was venting. And I didn’t do it nonchalantly.

And people always talk about internal validation, but that only gets you so far. Which, I’m sure this isn’t healthy, allegedly putting stock in how others treat me, but it’s literal human nature.

And I never said I could decide for someone else. I just see where the wind is blowing. I know you’re not trying to, but I never said that consent is for me to decide for others. I’m almost a libertarian-ish. I believe everyone has the right to decide their own path.

I’m aware, this just sounds like the usual stock advice. And I have BPD. I appreciate your intent, but my hope is that going through this much shit will eliminate the toxicity that usually comes, since we operate on similar waevelengths.

Idk anything anymore.

I should also note that my depression has gotten so bad, that I have to actively force air into my lungs, food tastes like plastic, I struggle to breathe, I sob, I feel empty.

I feel the same way about Chengdu. Maybe we can link up.

Numerous academics have stated that capitalism killed bare minimum 1.4 Billion people in India alone, over multiple centuries.

I’ve got a feeling that even that amount, is an extremely low bare minimum estimate.

I always say, that even if communism allegedly killed 100 million people, (which it didn’t, and the extreme upper end number is is more like 18 million), that communism is still the much, much more efficient, workable and “moral” system than capitalism is.

When I point out to people that for the most part, the “victims” of communism were selfish, greedy capitalists, kulaks, Uncle Toms, traitors, nazis and right-wing nationalists, who deserved what they got, where as capitalism kills mountains more people, and 99 percent innocent people, they accuse me of being a bootlicker. Which is extremely ironic and anger-inducing. Yet, they don’t deny the objective facts.