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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • I had the same thoughts after the first wave of euphoria post-egg-crack was over. They stayed with me for a very long time, I think even now they occasionally pop up. When I started HRT I even told myself I would constantly reexamine how I felt with the effects. But after a few weeks on hrt I just knew. For the first time I felt some sort of connection to my own body and from then on it only got better and the “goblins” got quieter and quieter.

    I think it’s healthy to keep questioning to some degree, but the best way to deal with this is probably to just keep exploring. You can always stop if it doesn’t feel right anymore. And sometimes it just takes some time to get used to things, no need to panic if something feels weird at first.

    Also, what I needed to realize was, that gender and gender presentation are a spectrum: You don’t have to be hyper feminine or gender conforming to be Trans. You’re allowed to have “masc” hobbies and interests, you’re allowed to dress masc or femme or neutral or both, you don’t have to like makeup. Only you decide and define what your gender is. For me it was also helpful to explore non-binary gender identities. In the end I still identified as a woman, but I found it helpful to free myself from expectations that come with that label for a while. Finding out what your gender is not, can help narrowing down what it actually is. And your decision doesn’t have to be final.

    So I guess what I want to say is: it’s totally normal to have these thoughts, if you keep questioning yourself and do what feels right you will end up with the right result for you. But don’t let the doubts drive you crazy.