Honestly half of people are going to hate you no matter what you do. Might as well be yourself and be happy and enjoy life. Transitioning was the greatest decision I ever made and has been the most positive but scary choice I ever made. There is no price you can put on feeling normal. Not normal in the sense that you are like everyone else, but normal in the sense that you feel like a normal human being who doesn’t have to hide stuff, and you like who you are in the mirror.

I never really took an interest in anything and I always had a lot of anger and shame and darkness. I didn’t even realize how much of this was tied to the fact that I was trying to be someone that I wasn’t. I thought transitioning would mildly improve my life and happiness, but felt it was important to do it because of all the hate, and that people needed to see that someone like me could be a trans person. When I actually did it. It was like the first day of my life. I didn’t even realize how much disphoria I had. I never realized just how much more I liked myself as a girl. I’m one of those people who was very trans and had a hard time ever being a guy. There was really never any other option for me, but nevertheless I did try extremely hard to learn to be a guy and to try to be. It made me miserable and ashamed constantly.

Now I do have a little discomfort. Seeing just how trans I really was is kind of scary, not for me but for others. I was so deluded, and I feel really bad for those people who are like me but never figured it out. I also feel bad because so many people think being trans is just some lifestyle choice people make. I’m sure it is for some people. That’s okay. Yet so many trans people could never do anything else, and it scares me that society tries so hard to shame people for it and lie about us, and that people are so dumb they think that lying and trying to be normal, is something everyone can and should do.

That’s why normies have a hard time understanding us. They are used to wearing the same clothes having the same haircut, pretending to like the same things as their peers, and yet they also can feel love and they have a typical sexuality. They don’t hate how they look as their own gender. Those people will just never understand what it’s like to have disphoria and to be almost psychologically nonfunctional and Inca deep state of depression because your entire inner world is wrapped in shame.

It doesn’t help that the weakest and most pathetic of all men are in charge of our nation now. The types of people who can only bully and pick on what they perceive as being the smallest minority that has the least power. Trump and the Republicans attack trans people because they feel it’s safe to hate us, that we have the least popularity, because there are the least consequences for attacking us. Something I personally try to counteract, but it is what it is.

Despite all of this. I am finally healthy and motivated and I have this ever elusive almost non-existent thing on this planet. Happiness, real happiness. I smile when I see my feminine body in the mirror. I get excited about life. I giggle and laugh and nothing seems all that serious to me anymore. For the first time in my life. I am alive. I am breathing. Not walking the earth like some demon punished by reality, but alive, happy, true to myself. I have lost weight, started to eat healthy. I have become a better parent, a better friend. I let go of my delusions. I became braver. I stopped caring about about material things, but also I find it easier to save and to plan for my future. Money may be unobtainable but happiness is not.

All the money in the world will never buy you happiness or a smile when looking in the mirror. In that way I have become wealthier than all the corporations who try to Lord over us. When I see some dude in a costume with a Hitler haircut on tv. I can smile knowing that I’m actually happy while they are always going to be miserable and hurt themselves in their own confusion. They will be miserable because they are horrible human beings, I was sad because I lost many friends. Yet at the end of the day I sleep well, because my heart is pure. I am not hurting others or making the world a worse place. These people who oppose us, they are hurting all the time and they sell their souls for money. I sleep like a baby, with a smile on my face, even if incels want to call us things because they don’t understand us. They also can’t sleep well at night. Not that I wish them bad, but being a bad person and a hateful person is punishment enough in itself. Being a good person and knowing yourself is reward enough in itself. Being a decent human being, telling the truth, being brave. These are not just virtues for society, but for your own soul. True happiness does come from being a good person.

If you are a baby trans, you can do it on your own time if you are scared. You don’t have to tell others. It is very scary at first. I spent 3 years crying as I unscrambled my brain, but when I started treatment it was night and day. I realized being trans was much deeper than just my identity. It was my brain chemistry. It was my emotional stability. My energy levels. From the day I started treatment my mental health improved significantly because believe it or not there is a deep biological basis to many trans people that causes them to not be healthy with the wrong hormones. This was strangely affirming if not also shocking. Realizing that it wasn’t just in my head or wishful thinking but a very real reality. It’s also the thing that disturbed me the most. I realize now just how many people out there suffer everyday because they brain is poisoned by their bodies own hormones and I see how hard it is for so many people to get the treatment they need because of the hate and misunderstanding which is made worse by the hateful and ignorant people who don’t care if we suffer.