Wellllll…
I got married.
For the rest, physically things were going really well until I got post covid.
It’s easier to stop caring and engaging with aspects of culture that you find distasteful.
Only advantage for me is that I’m closer to death and ending this exhausting existence on this world.
Depends on the person, but in my case:
- Financial stability
- Fewer worries
- I’ve learned to relax and not take things too seriously. Especially when it comes to myself.
- I finally know what I’m gonna do “when I grow up”
- Time and resources to spend on my hobbies
Hard emphasis on “Depends on the person.” I have a friend in their early 40s who currently can’t meet anything on this list due to financial hardships and unstable living conditions.
I also have two elderly friends who are unhoused due to all the shelters being booked as a result of the heat.
Fuck Amerikkka by the way.
My sister in-law is from that country you simp for, and an entire section of her family has been living on the street for decades. So, fuck the world, pal.
I can +1 this. I’m that guy. Especially #1,2 &4…
If my landlord dies (she’s in her 70s and not doing well) I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do. I have an absurdly low rent for the area I’m in (1,400/month +utilities for a shit garage “apartment” is considered cheap here…) and if I have to move it will be out of the state and I have to leave my job… Being an uneducated piece of shit my job prospects, especially in this economy, are pretty much nil.
Financial stability… Seems I’m doing something wrong
Fewer worries? I didn’t gave a shit in my 20th, since my burnout I’m a complete wreck
I think, everyone has something different at that age
I do start to notice, what’s actually important to me, but being a nerve wreck, I don’t have the base to really go for the things, I care about
I finally know what I’m gonna do “when I grow up”
how? I know after 40 I just resigned myself I will not be something else when I would grew up (mechanic, doctor, lawyer, whatever) and that I’ll be a software developer for the rest of my life :-/
There is some truth to this… I’ve moved on from the ideas that I might be highly influential or consequential. Now I just focus on trying to be a good person, do good deeds that keep me happy, tell nazis to DIAF, etc. No fame to be had for me. Other than a few immediate family members, I’ll be forgotten to time when I die.
Luck, basically. I landed a career that I actually enjoy, it pays decently, and I’m given a lot of freedom and flexibility. I tried having a “normal job”, but in my mid 30s I concluded that normal jobs are for normal people, so I reached out to some former coworkers and got back into offshore seismic survey. I have since landed a supporting role where most of it is done from home.
I still enjoy being a software developer, I also WFH since COVID which is incredible
It’s mostly acceptance that you are already grown up, and a career change involves financially weighing the benefits of the new career vs the lost income to train for it. Add to it the fact that the working runway gets shorter and shorter which reduces the financial payoff, and you’re not changing careers after your 40s unless it’s for love/enjoyment.
I think we were sold a lot of Hollywood bullshit about living for your job and working all evening or dream jobs that involved taking our laptops to Starbucks to plan parties for the rich and famous. But at the end of the day, a job is a job - nobody would pay you to do it if it was that fun. And so my choice is to make as much as I can to allow me to enjoy my leisure time, which means staying in my current career where I have already climbed the ladder.
Nobody expects great feats of strength. They look to nephew’s for manual labor.
Much easier to air your grievances at this age too.
Not giving a shit what other people think of you. I think this starts, for most people, earlier than their 40’s but it’s still great. I don’t care about impressing anyone except me.
My best years were between 40 and 47: my body was still mostly problem free, I was already financially secure, and I had enough life experience to know stupid when I saw it.
Then at 47, the progressives came onto the scene. Then shortly after, the small aches in the morning for no reason. Then I started to get a gloved finger up my ass on a regular basis to check my prostate…
That’s also when I realized aging comes in bursts, and my first big burst was around that time - just before 50 - and it fucking sucked. That’s the first time I felt limited in some of the things I did before, and that’s the first time I felt on the decline for real.
If you 40, enjoy it bubba, because it’ll be over before you know it.
Then I started to get a gloved finger up my ass on a regular basis to check my prostate…
Glad to hear that at least one good thing came from it all.
I got my first ass check at 38.
I already knew a guy who had colon surgery at 35.
Butt cancer is on a massive surge and they are pushing coloscopy checks younger and younger.
I survived cancer 3 times already. I figure I’m probably immune by now 🙂
For me it was 54. Before that I was like “let’s go down this mountain on bicycles!” or “hé look I walk on my hands!!!” and all kinds of teenageish things. I always said “it’s incredible I’m 53 and absolutely no hurt anywhere! knees, back, etc all 100% perfect!!!” I was able to do all kind of job in my house, the backyard, etc, never had any pains or aches.
Then at 54 it looks like andropause hit my body quite violently saying “dude you’re not 20 anymore!!”.
Also got the finger and the camera, twice.
I just turned 60, and in the wake of my divorce 5 years ago I’ve made a dedicated effort to get my health and fitness in order, and am now in the best physical condition of my life. As I recently re-entered the dating pool, I’ve discovered that being a fit, good-looking man over 40, I’m in high demand.
Roughly half of all Americans are overweight, and I have no doubt that percentage increases significantly in men over 40. As a consequence, I have access to more attractive women than I’ve ever had in my life, and older women can be quite aggressive.
In the U.S., at age 30 there are roughly 120 single men per 100 single women. By age 45 there are only 95 single men per 100 single women, and by age 55 there are only 57. That is a massive shift that completely changes the power dynamic. There are a LOT of attractive women over 40, and I’m finding that while I did very well with women in my younger days, that pales in comparison to my experience today.
This was true for me as a woman as well. Like when I was younger I was middle good looking, maybe average, but as I got older I moved up because so many people got fat or let go. Like just by maintaining I got relatively better looking compared to peers.
And I can confirm, good looking and fit guys my age are not common but so hot!
As someone who just turned 40 and been single for 8 years, this is very promising!
I’m gleefully waiting for the time at work I can just flat out refuse to do something critical because it didn’t follow SOP or something. Fucking fire me, I dare you. But my name will not being going on that mess and I’ll encourage others to stay away until management unfucks themselves.
The power of the phrase “If you want me to do that, put it in writing via an email and CC management to get confirmation” only grows stronger with age
More vacation days (probably depending on your union, but at least where I work the older you are the more vacation days you get).
Can start looking forward to retirement maybe?
People don’t follow me on the street or interrupt my day to try to chat me up. Though soon they’ll start doing it to scam me instead, so staying sceptical.
A lot fewer people stubbornly mistake my friendliness for flirting.
I’m more aware of my limits, and people tend to respect it faster when I set boundaries.
Though I’m early in it, so there’s more to come for sure.
Can start looking forward to retirement maybe?
I long for (early) retirement, but I’m pretty sure I’ll have to continue working until I die just so that I have health insurance. :(
That’s infuriating. I’m sorry. Hopefully y’all will have had time to fix your health care system by then.
To a very limited degree, you get a little more ‘respect’, but it’s often fake and fragile. Otherwise, nothing… body starts degrading and it’s all down-hill.
The respect thing confused me so much. Then realizing the wrong response is to list all the ways you are not worthy of the respect or confidence that is placed in you.
“What other people think of me is none of my business” goes both ways lol
- Being less dependent on pleasing other people allowed me to rest better.
- I can survive on less money because I have paid off student debt and have good benefits
- Getting to know my partner more. Every day we are getting better at being partners.
- A lot less FOMO. I know I will not enjoy going to a big party. I can enjoy a quiet evening without feeling regret.
- My overall life experiences make it easier for me to pick up (some) new skills. I can see how what I learned about geometry helps me be a better potter.
- I feel more comfortable letting things go because I have experience that it won’t matter to me in a day or week. Do that a 1000+ times and it will stick 😅
Giving less fucks in general
Theoretically you have savings and assets but that is highly job and economy dependent. From my experience every year the math on retirement gets more grim.
In a very pragmatic way: Not having to care about society ending events as much as younger generations. Even if shit hits the fan tomorrow, I had 40+ years of a, historically speaking, luxurious life.
