I’m asking as a non-religious person; I just find it romantic. I met a guy I really like recently and we’ve been hanging out a lot. I told him about my boundary, and he’s cool with it.

  • HuudaHarkiten@piefed.socialEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    Yes, not having sex before marriage is a horrible idea.

    Sex is a big part of a relationship. If its bad, it can break the relationship, lead to cheating etc. Better to find out before making things legally binding and having to deal with the mess afterwards with extra complications.

    Edit: not saying anyone should have sex on the first date. Get to know each others, get to trust each others. Talk about things. Then have sex only when you are comfortable with the other person and the idea of having sex with them.

      • Dr. Bob@lemmy.caEnglish
        0·
        2 months ago

        This is not true for the people in arranged marriages that I’ve discussed the issue with. The men had not been sexually naive before the marriage. Women explained it as finally being able express affection so it was like a dam bursting into one person. They felt that sex was a critical ingredient to the marriage. Granted that has only been a handful of cases where that frank discussion took place, and it is only with a single cultural group, so you may have more extensive experience.

        Edited for autocorrect

      • HuudaHarkiten@piefed.socialEnglish
        0·
        2 months ago

        Good point. I did assume a western culture background.

        I don’t know what you are trying to imply with the “sex object” comment, but personally I have never had sex with a “random” person, nor have I thought about my sex partners as sex objects. They have been people I cared a lot about and wanted to connect on a deep level. Some people do think of others as objects to have sex with, but I think thats a different conversation from what is being discussed here.