I’m asking as a non-religious person; I just find it romantic. I met a guy I really like recently and we’ve been hanging out a lot. I told him about my boundary, and he’s cool with it.

  • hperrin@lemmy.ca
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    17 days ago

    You have to think of the potential that this person is not going to be able to please you sexually. If that’s something you’re cool with in a marriage, then yeah, that’s fine.

    Speaking personally, that’s not something I would want to risk.

    • HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca
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      17 days ago

      You can always learn. It’s not like sexual prowess is innate.

      I fucked like a jackrabbit before marriage so it’s not my cup of tea, but I do have to laugh at the “what if they’re bad in bed” arguments…communicate and put some effort in.

      • hperrin@lemmy.ca
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        17 days ago

        Sure someone can learn techniques and stuff, but if their genitals and/or naked body are not sexually attractive to you, or vice versa, that’s something that’s better to find out before getting the government involved.

        Or if the things that turn you on turn him off or vice versa, that’s also something that’s better to know early.

        So it’s not really about “bad” in bed. It’s whether what they like to do is something that satisfies you sexually, and whether what you like to do is something that satisfies them sexually.

        • HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca
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          17 days ago

          As far as I understand, “saving it for marriage” doesn’t usually preclude couple seeing each other naked and having other forms of sexual contact.

          The argument makes sense for arranged marriages and stuff like that, yeah. But makes no sense for what I think is most common which is “my penis cannot go inside your vagina until we’re married, take that God”.

      • turdburglar@piefed.social
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        17 days ago

        it’s not so much about bad in bed, it’s about compatibility. there are some pegs that doesn’t fit some holes, to coin a phrase.