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If you can get your tongue inside the machinery they use at Lawrence Livermore to create a split-second instance of some rare Earth actinide, you deserve to lick it.
It’s really funny, yesterday I saw a dude walk around with a T-shirt with exactly this periodic table and thought it was hilarious and now I find this
Did you lick him?
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… How exactly would you lick hydrogen? Or helium for yhsy matter…
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- Fill a balloon with the gas
- Stick your tongue in the balloon sphincter
- Wiggle your tongue
- Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point
New fetish unlocked, but still hidden behind balloon sphincter.
Tounguepunching the gas sphincter, oh joy
Just go slow and keep it wet. It might take some time to build up your tongue strength and loosen up the opening, but I believe in you. Go forth and achieve your dreams.
- Reconsider the decisions you’ve made that led your life to this point
OR
New kink unlocked
If that moment of introspection concludes with you being happy with your path and current situation, then who am I to judge. Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.
Carry on with your ballonilingus and be happy.
That’s gotta be a sentence no one has ever said before.
And, dare we hope, never again
why is it fine to lick calcium? wouldn’t that cause sever burns?
It would, don’t do it. There’s more than one questionable assignment on the table including magnesium right above it.
Magnesium’s fine, I’ve licked it. Held some magnesium tape in my mouth once while mixing the thermite.
Wait, why shouldn’t you lick magnesium? I’ve done that plenty of times (for giant dumbass reasons) and I’m no worse off than before I licked it…
Most of atoms can’t be find as a pure form (metal/crystal or pair). You may have licked magnesium oxyde (MgO), but not magnesium as an explosive metal.
Ah, I see I’ve fallen for the classic ambiguity - I was assuming the vast chemistry arena we were licking things in was not a frictionless vacuum. Yes, it’s hypothetically pyrophoric with water; though it would require some prodegious amounts of slobber (or some small amount of effort) to produce that effect just by licking it - and I’m not entirely sure how well human salivary glands operate under vacuum conditions…
Yeah I guess that’s true, your salvia probably isn’t penetrating the oxide layer with enough vigor to be too much of a concern. Don’t eat it though!
Can you lick a gas? Or do you have to cool it down until liquid?
My brother once farted so bad I could taste it.
The periodic table is surprisingly lickable.
Coming from someone identifying as salt, that’s high praise! 😁
Compare XKCD.
I would have loved this in school.
I LOVE the “you are here”
Pshh. You can lick any of them once.
You really shouldn’t, though.
I can be, though, if you ask nicely…
Oganesson has a half-life of about 0.7 ms and is excruciatingly difficult to synthesize in a way that even lasts on the order of milliseconds. The beam it’s created in is sent to a semiconductor detector. You’d be stretching the definition of “lick” very heavily if you could even convolute a way to make it land on the human tongue.
Easy, just send the beam to their tongue instead of the duperwhatsit detector. Bam. Licked.
Bam. Licked.
My dog running straight at me after a solid 15 at the butthole buffet.
It’s 100% accurate. But just in case, could you have the map on you when you go around licking things? The resultant news article will be way funnier that way.
Sure! I’ll keep that in mind for my next lickpacking tour across Europe.
Gonna have to vet the Blarney Stone before I lick it. Could be made out of anything.
Because everything exists in Europe :-D
not everything. Just Licktenstein.
Well done!
Technetium really should be purple. The isotope that you’d be most likely to get some of (used for nuclear medicine) has a half-life of about 6 hours, and is appropriately radioactive.
Can you lick a gas? I would think it would need to be at least liquid, and once some of these are in a lickable state you probably wouldn’t want to go ahead and do it.
I have nipples, Greg. Can you lick me?
Can I? Yes. Will I?.. How much you got?
Two nipples
I’ve just licked some hydrogen
You dirty gasophile
You can lick everything, but some only one time
Can I lick it? (Yes, you can)
It’s about whether you die before you can reach it
If lead is “maybe not a good idea”, the rest of these must be really bad ideas. I like that there’s still 2 more levels above lead. I assume the second level just explodes or vaporises you instantly or something.
Licking lead once is completely fine, just don’t make a habit of it
Some of these would explode on contact with your tongue, yes.
And from what I can see, many of them are only rated “you really shouldn’t”. Which leads me to consider what the next step up in severity could possibly be.
Your own flesh burns yourself to death.
Admittedly unpleasant.
Come on, it can’t be that bad if we build water pipes with it
;^)
Some of the purple ones have a time limit to lick them before you die that starts once you enter the room they are kept. You’ll still die after licking them, but you would at least have licked it if you’re quick.
Many can’t be “kept” on the time scale of licking. And for some, the confirmed number of atoms ever existing is too low for any sensation or measurable radiation exposure during their violent but tiny decay.
So those are “yes, but hurry”?
jots down in notebook
Everything that isn’t green should be ‘definitely not’ and several green ones are questionable
The particular form the element is in also matters a lot.
Take helium, for example. Is it really possible to ‘lick’ a gas? I’d say it’s not. You could lick liquid helium, though … and you really shouldn’t, unless you enjoy severe frostbite on your tongue.
if i stick my tongue out i would probably consider that as licking air, so you would just have to be submerged in that gas for a long enough time to lick it
What? No. The Leidenfrost effect would apply. You could pour a few milliliters of liquid helium over your tongue and it would boil on contact. You just need to make sure to minimize total contact time.
