Wish me luck! I’m about 10bpm away from a heart attack 😭
Edit: After removing my hoodie and revealing my top, my mother gave me the dirtiest look I’ve ever received from her. She complimented my jorts and belt, that was it. This sent me into a really bad dysphoric spiral. Grandma keeps misgendering me. Everyone treating me like a person feels forced. Currently crying in the bathroom. I want to die
Edit2: Mom was talking to me, asking me why I was sad. I told her, that I could never really afford the surgeries I need to pass, truly pass. She said how people get those and look funny in their 50s. She doesn’t even understand what FFS is. She told me I was a normal, pretty, young girl which should have made me feel better, but just felt forced and fake.
She told me that most trans people have 0 family support while I have full support, which is true. I just sit and whine while others have it way worse. I’m such a shitty person.
She told me I have all day every day to focus on myself, so I should get a job and distract myself. Not like I haven’t been trying. With my anxiety, even going to the store is a challenge. Leaving the house is a challenge. I don’t know how I’d manage a job.
All in all, today sucked extremely. I’m crying in the bathroom, again, but this time I cut my arm with a pair of scissors. I hate myself. I’m leaving the party now, and I’ll probably just end it when I get back. I’m such a useless existence. I want out of this world. Sorry everyone, for everything.
I hope you get lots of nice compliments
You look amazing, so jealous. Hope it goes well
Turns out, it didn’t. Turns out it went as poorly as it possibly could have
also just please don’t do anything rash. I know it’s hard to find happiness in this world right now but believe me, the world is better off with you in it. if you need to rant, bitch or just get anything off your chest with no strings attached my inbox is open.
your life means something. live to spite the assholes who are putting you down; you’re a fucking star.
I’m sorry but your mother telling you that you ‘sit and whine while others have it way worse’ is abusive behaviour. She might be doing her best but if this is it, it’s not good enough.
You look amazing and I’m sorry your night didn’t go well. You deserve so much better
I don’t think the mom said that part.
Thank you! Hope so too.
I’m about to die 😭
you’ll do great. :)
Hell yeah, you go girl!
have fun you look great :) love that top
Wishing you luck you’re looking awesome :3
No accessories? May I suggest a bracelet or a simple necklace to really bring out your features.
I did bring a bracelet actually. A gift from my best friend, brought from Bali. One made of small, round black lava rocks.
I’m super envious for your style! (And body, you’re lucky with that one!)
And it feels horrible what you now tell your relatives have done with you. It’s entirely unfounded. What did your cousin think of your style?
He didn’t even see me properly. I swapped my pretty red top for a T shirt and a bra under that.
I feel like a failure. Once, just once I wanted to wear something cute in front of other people and then this happens.
relatives can be the nastiest, I’m sorry.some people just can’t reconcile that someone can change so much. for what it’s worth, I think you look great in it, genuinely
Good luck and all the best.
Keep us updated!
Kick some ass, Queen!
And then I saw a comment and went to read yours… Fuck 'em. It’ll hurt, but you don’t need people who don’t accept you. Some dumbass on the internet (me) accepts you and you can find people IRL who do as well. I promise.
Looking absolutely stunning! I’m super jelly! Sorry it turned south so quickly, that is truly awful to hear. I hope you feel better, we are here for you in good times and bad. hugs
♡♡♡Nissa♡♡♡
I hate reading this edit because I came to say how absolutely gorgeous you look, and you do.
The hardest part may be releasing yourself from the need for validation from them. I’m a cis dude and haven’t experienced an ounce of the challenges you have, so my perspective may be off the mark but I hope you can see yourself as this stranger sees you and not as the people who can’t help but load you down with their baggage.
You. Are. Gorgeous. You deserve happiness as your gorgeous self.
woaaaaaaah such girlllll mrrrrrreeaowww, waoaoooaoaooaoaooaoaoaoaoaoo
I’ll probably just end it when I get back.
Nah, don’t do that
Girl, you l need a good strong hug more often. I’m a straight cis black man that grew up as the token black kid in a conservative town. So I understand that anxious energy when you know everyone is going to be looking at you. Build your community and sanctuary so you can face the world whenever you are ready. Don’t let others dictate your outcomes.
