Eh. I’ve simmered down and of course the black cat has lost trust and started avoiding me. Being made to take medication is way too much for him to handle after what could be a decade of no medical procedures.
I could try to slowly repair the bond if he comes back (if) and hope that the nutrition and parasite treatment alone get his body healthy enough to clear the ringworm by itself. But should I? That’s asking me to endure constant re-exposure to it for potentially months, when it’s very difficult to deal with physically and emotionally. And if he’s got underlying conditions he may not clear it without treatment.
It’s a real pickle. I hope my email has handballed the responsibility for that right back to his owners where it belongs, so I don’t have to be the bad guy.
I am really not interested in replacing Melbcat and want time for myself to grieve her properly but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about this little buddy and don’t feel like shit for how it’s panned out.
Anger spats are normal, as long as they don’t become the default.
From an ND perspective there’s also the angrymaking part of having a possible distraction from the ennui of grief being potentially snatched away. Then there’s just the complete shit situation of wanting to help but very possibly not being able to (which btw does nothing to assuage the sense of moral obligation)
Ramble ramble but tldr: a boilover is an appropriate response. I’m just so sorry this is happening.
It isn’t even a distraction from grief. It’s actually been complicating it and making everything more painful and stressful which is why I tried to handball this.
It’s also creating a lot of change, uncertainty and emotional rollercoasters right when I really don’t need that, and putting me in no-win situations where I can’t do anything to help.
I’m angry at the owners. I hope they take this cat to the vet. As he ages (already suspect arthritis) or if he gets too sick to ignore (already has cat flu and ringworm) it will eventually need to happen anyway and it’s going to be more traumatic if he’s not used to it.
spoiler
Eh. I’ve simmered down and of course the black cat has lost trust and started avoiding me. Being made to take medication is way too much for him to handle after what could be a decade of no medical procedures.
I could try to slowly repair the bond if he comes back (if) and hope that the nutrition and parasite treatment alone get his body healthy enough to clear the ringworm by itself. But should I? That’s asking me to endure constant re-exposure to it for potentially months, when it’s very difficult to deal with physically and emotionally. And if he’s got underlying conditions he may not clear it without treatment.
It’s a real pickle. I hope my email has handballed the responsibility for that right back to his owners where it belongs, so I don’t have to be the bad guy.
I am really not interested in replacing Melbcat and want time for myself to grieve her properly but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about this little buddy and don’t feel like shit for how it’s panned out.
Anger spats are normal, as long as they don’t become the default.
From an ND perspective there’s also the angrymaking part of having a possible distraction from the ennui of grief being potentially snatched away. Then there’s just the complete shit situation of wanting to help but very possibly not being able to (which btw does nothing to assuage the sense of moral obligation)
Ramble ramble but tldr: a boilover is an appropriate response. I’m just so sorry this is happening.
It isn’t even a distraction from grief. It’s actually been complicating it and making everything more painful and stressful which is why I tried to handball this.
It’s also creating a lot of change, uncertainty and emotional rollercoasters right when I really don’t need that, and putting me in no-win situations where I can’t do anything to help.
I’m angry at the owners. I hope they take this cat to the vet. As he ages (already suspect arthritis) or if he gets too sick to ignore (already has cat flu and ringworm) it will eventually need to happen anyway and it’s going to be more traumatic if he’s not used to it.
Yes. The horrors feel endless.