People are just going to disagree with you, argue, insult you, and at the end, you’ve wasted your time for absolutely no gain to anyone. There’s no benefit to posting anything on Lemmy, unless you need external validation - either confirming your perspective, or seeking praise from a third party.
Exceptions are when your profile is associated with some larger organization, scheme with an obscure goal, is an attempt to gather information, or the literal goal is to waste time, your own or others.
This means that every post not meeting those exceptions is an altruistic act that you should consider being grateful for. Someone expended time and effort for the purpose of entertaining you, a complete stranger, they’ll likely never know and never meet. They wasted their own time so they could improve yours.
You had me in the first paragraph then you flipped me in the third lol thank you for your time.
🥂
Main character ass post
I’d rather have civil discussion with disagreement, seems like that’s much better here than somewhere like Reddit. I don’t need validation, I need the truth.
The majority of individuals lack the mental faculties to engage in critical thought. Truth
But we will still argue with you in the comments lol 😂 I have had to tap out of comment exchanges a few times
whats wrong with people disagreeing or aguing? Thats generally what I want but I would like it to be high quality. That is not so common. If its about something I like or hate I realize that im just basically starting a convo around an opinion of mine. I did one the other day on the masters of the universe movie because it gave me uncanny valley wierd ai vibes.
Nothing, until they’re disagreeing or arguing over the validity of human rights, inherent freedoms and baseline morality. That happens a lot online, where the shield of anonymity allows people to make whatever abhorrent argument they like without shame.
It happens far less often here on Lemmy than just about anywhere else on the Internet, but I imagine it’s only a matter of time. The march of enshittification is as inevitable as it is endless! Or so it seems to this jaded, old being.
block em pure and simple. someone saying something ludicrous, cruel, and downright evil. make the experience you want.
Ha! And here you are, posting on lemmy.
Checkmate!
😎You win the Internet for today, good sir or madame. Please take your trophy from the dispenser, and return again tomorrow for yet another opportunity.
- there is no point
- exceptions are when there is a point
I guess
See? You get it!
But when I post a question and get an answer I learn something. That’s good, no?
Have you really learned anything? Or do you think you have? There’s no Earthly way of knowing.
I learned, that you are a negative Nancy, that wants everyone to just ask questions to chatbots.
i think fedi has similar pitfalls to social media, namely the parasocial thing. just look at the design of lemmy and piefed, the title and text content is maximized and the poster’s name and profile, and the community itself is minimized. on web forums the user’s identity is much more prominent with a large avatar, long signatures on every post, and often times badges, awards, and titles displayed under their name.
Oh, yeah, in the end the root cause is the same. People; what a bunch of bastards.
Why did you post this?
To waste my time in an effort to improve that of random strangers as I was feeling gregarious.
To waste my time in an effort to improve that of random strangers as I was feeling gregarious.external validation 😉Exactly. My existence has once again been validated - I do indeed exist.
That’s a cynical way of looking at it. Plenty of posts here aim to inform, educate, share something the poster created or found interesting, discover new perspectives, or have nuanced discussions.
It’s a natural part of communication to want feedback or engagement with something you share. There are always going to be mixed reactions, with the strongest ones getting the most attention. If you are sensitive to criticism, the negative responses can damper what is overall a positive experience. I would not stay on a platform where I consider the overall experience a negative one.
It is cynical, yes, but I think it’s also accurate. Those who post to inform, educate and share are acting altruistically and are the ones I specifically mentioned deserve gratitude.
Lemmy is literally the only platform I’m on, if you don’t count email, and I debate deleting it on a weekly basis. Although it remains positive, overall, so I’m still here.
I do like reading other people’s comments. I hope people get something out of reading mine. But my position on posting remains unchanged for a while now:
My rule to live by (and this seems to trigger people online for some reason whenever I say it): never engage with comments online. I’ll post a comment, but >99% of the time there is no reason to reply. I’ve made my point. There’s hardly anything to gain from trying to change anyone else’s mind or elaborating further. Someone has to make it abundantly clear that they are responding in good faith to warrant a response. My life has been much better since I started doing this and I would strongly recommend everyone try it out.
I find it even more absurd that people post about relationships problems (whether with a partner, friend or family member) and expect people to give any reasonable response when strangers have no idea of the context or lived experience and have one heavily skewed side of the story. That really is a place where people are just looking for validation. It has become a joke on Reddit and Lemmy how everything is such a “RED FLAG!!”.
Sage advice, in my humble opinion.
Agreed fully on the topic of relationship advice posting.
I like the vibe of the message, no clue what is is the opinion here though.
I think it’s worth upvoting responses if they are well reasoned. Even if I personally don’t agree with the conclusions or think the response misunderstands the evidence. It gives some insight into alternatives and clarifies my own ideas. Or it’s all just a bit of fun which hopefully makes someones day a little better.
Depends on the platform. On Facebook I spend most of my time as visible pushback on shitty ideas and bigotry. On YouTube I recognize its mostly screaming into the void. Here on lemmy I get good and interesting discussions and also get to have visible pushback on bigotry.
Oh, wow, you have the patience for the bigotry of Facebook? That was the first platform where I lost all faith in humanity. Posting there in an attempt to combat maliced views felt like emptying the ocean with a leaky bucket.
That is my favorite aspect of Lemmy, too. I wish there were more places like it in the world.
I still use Facebook for a handful of more niche RPG fandoms, mainly centered on the World of Darkness game lines, its the only place I could find a moderately active community. But most of the time when I’m confronting the bigotry, its me just recommending people take paul’s advice in Galatians 5:12, which is basically Paul saying “yall assholes are quibbling over who is and isn’t Christian because of circumcision, instead of being good people, so just finish the job and make yourselves eunuchs.”
Oh, I saw a World of Darkness total conversion mod for a game I play just yesterday. I hadn’t considered it was so obscure that one would need to willingly traverse the cess pit that is Facebook in order to converse with fans. I hope that one day they have a thriving community in a permanent, respectable home.
That sounds as effective as it is fun to type out repeatedly. I don’t think becoming a eunuch would actually have that effect on a person, though, otherwise all women would be good people by default and that sadly is not the case. Unless there’s a womanly version of being a eunuch? 🤔
I do like external validation although I welcome being challenged aswell. I do also like discussion and empathising with people.
That is to say I am a social creature that evolved to be social, and although lemmy isnt socialising its pretty close (at least to my creature brain).
Yeah, I can agree with all that.
I guess I’m just quickly soured by the resident jerks in any community. Making me largely anti-social, but I still make the effort every once in a while just to see what happens. It feels like throwing a rock at a wasp’s nest before closing the screen door. Stupid but thrilling.
I feel that. Personally, I’ve decided most times it is best not to read comments responding to anything I post. And if I have questions, I’ll just research it myself rather than ask in the comments here. I see all social media as inherently toxic, and while Lemmy is less toxic than most, people still seem to enjoy shitting on others online whenever they can. And you never know if the jerk really is some high school douche or a Russian bot with an agenda or an intelligent adult with poor communication skills or a violently prideful idiot.
It helps to avoid all sensitive and important posts. There are no jerks in superbowl for example.
