deleted by creator

!mentalhealth@lemmy.world or !mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world might have information for you

I’m very very sorry for your loss.

Work toward a fair and equitable society.

This is going to sound dark but it saved a few lives.

Embrace the truth that depression is trying to tell you and you are now free to do anything.

Punch a shark, go skydiving, enjoy those moments that you denied yourself and nothing remains to be afraid of because they are all safer than suicide.

Let go of who you thought you were; that is not you now and you need to become the self that you need to be.

Suicide hotlines are very much still a thing, and you typically don’t need any kind of license or degree. I think many are volunteers.

There are also likely outreach programs in your area, if you search for them, and they frequently need volunteers. Helping people to access services is one of the more effective ways to prevent deaths, especially for high-risk populations like: addiction, lgbt, homeless.

If you’re looking to make a (paying) career change for this, there are also entry level jobs in behavioral health at inpatient and outpatient centers.

If there’s someone in your life that you feel is slipping into that trap, show them that you care. And I don’t mean tell them that you care, show them. When I was in that pit words were utterly meaningless. People say kind things all the time that they don’t actually mean. But when my mom showed up to my door at 2 am, worried because I didn’t return her texts that day, I felt that. I felt that through the numbness of depression and SSRIs.

Ultimately though, as the other poster said, it was up to me whether I kept going or not. The thing that helped me was going out to get breakfast alone on Saturday morning. Feeling the sun on my skin, watching the birds, and eating a good meal eventually helped me come around. That, and getting away from the situation and people that caused the depression in the first place.

I wish I had sage advice for you. I lost my first born to suicide 13 years ago this month, and my best friend 3 years ago.

My son was in therapy, among other things to help. I kept telling them he needed to be in inpatient psychiatric care, with constant suicide watch. They disagreed.

My best friend was in a depression spiral, stemming from a work related back injury.

I was actively trying to help both. I realize now, I am not properly equipped to help alone.

Feel for ya bro. I lost someone very close too. Truth is its not always easy to tell if someone is close to the edge.

Encourage talking about problems/feelings.

If someone tells you they are suicidal, get them to seek medical help. Hound them until they have spoken to a doctor.

Remember that they are responsible for their own wellbeing. You cannot control what they do. Ultimately that’s on them.

Kinda surprised no one’s mentioned 988 yet. It’s relatively new but it’s absolutely a thing. I also happen to know the VA has a crisis line as well if anyone can use that. They promote it often.

In my experience there’s two types of suicidal people. One is the person who talks about it frequently, sometimes jokingly, sometimes not, and that person is easy. They’re asking for help and for someone to intervene. They want to be stopped.

The second one is the one we should worry about. They’re dead set on taking their own life and will make sure they can’t be stopped. They’ll make a plan quietly, secretly. They’ll carry out the plan when no one is around. They may even look okay, because often a person who has made the final decision to do it will appear calm and happy. If you suspect such a thing, the only thing you can truly do is make sure they never get the opportunity. Make sure they’re never alone. Keep them talking. Watch their mood. Tell others in their circle to do the same.

Which brings me to another point: Call in the cavalry. You don’t have to fight someone’s suicidal ideation by yourself. Get their friends and family around them to move them towards professional help, because it’s a group effort.

As far as real, actionable advise, that’s really the best I can offer.

Father and uncle both committed suicide. Short answer: fix society and the US healthcare system. Longer answer: culturally men have been ostracized and marginalized in Hollywood and social media for decades and the actual practice of psychiatry is decades behind the study of depression and mental illness. Talk therapy and medications with fractional response rates are still the gold standard and neither address the underlying root causes. Standard pharmaceutical treatments in addition to having incredibly low effective rates also come with a deluge of side-effects and diminishing returns over time. Talk therapy doesn’t actually address societal, economic, or familial pressures and without the time or mental space to practice coping methods, is largely useless.

TL;DR treat men like valued parts of society and family, and in the same spirit of equality, equally divide the fiduciary and family responsibilities between all adults. The modern father and husband averages well within reason 50% of all familial contributions while still being treated as a burden on partners.

It’s not your fault. You don’t have to carry the world on your shoulders.

I wouldn’t be too afraid that your background or identity would alienate someone. Like you said, your program will provide training, and your willingness to help people is what really matters.

As i understand it, the trevor project is specifically designed to help reach people that our current society is failing to reach, the government is against them, etc. which is motivating for many volunteers.

There is nothing wrong with helping a more general audience thought. Any help is good.

One caution, I have heard personally that friends of friends who have gone this route professionally have gotten jaded and burnt out. I don’t want this for anyone, especially you, given your background. So my advice is, schedule some time off whether you think you’ll need it or not, in advance. And any place you talk to, ask what systems they have in place to detect and prevent empathy fatigue and burn out. I don’t know if i would trust any place that didn’t have a well thought out answer.

I’m sorry for your loss. I read somewhere in reddit in the past that the book “Suicide: The forever decision” helped them.

I didn’t read that book to personally vouch for it but kept it in mind because the comment seemed genuine.

There are still appropriate crisis hotlines all over the world.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

I’ll have to be cautious about this advice, as I’m not a therapist, but: Ask for help with something. Any task they could be more qualified for, or that you need a second person, rely on them a bit. When they help you, thank them wholeheartedly, even with a gesture like a gift.

People like to feel that they’re needed and appreciated, that they have some worthiness in people’s eyes. But don’t fault yourself for lack of this action - it’s impossible for everyone to do this for everyone they know, and self-harmful minds do a lot to hide themselves.

Best of luck.