I have. And I think folks should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed for sharing their experiences.
OP, please mark this post as NSFW.
Whenever I share, it goes poorly and I only end up triggering myself. I now only share with people in my inner circle and only if it’s relevant to something. Talking about it is really hard and if it goes poorly, it can retraumatize. Women have to defend immediately, ala “well what were you wearing?” Bitch I was 4. I don’t blame people for not talking about it more openly.
No I haven’t, and I don’t know anyone who has been either. However, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, and I agree that people should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed - I wish more people agreed about that.
Yes, this chick I went on a Tinder date did. I showed up to pick her up, then she’s like “how about we stay in”, so I said “ok sure”. She already had stuff cooking so obviously she planned on not going to dinner or anything. Anyways we had dinner, it was ok. Her profile picture was obviously older (shocker), but not catfish levels or anything, she still was cute/ok. Anyways we had a couple drinks, and she ruffied one or both of them. All I remember is getting super tired, then flashes of her riding me on the couch.
It’s absolutely disgusting movies treat guys getting SAed as a joke but it’s treated as serious for women. I think there’s a movie, 40 days and 40 nights where the dude is literally tired to a bed and a girl basically raped him and it’s treated as a comedy scene.
Id say that me being mutilated by circumcisiom as a baby is the closest Ive come to this happening to me.
The law doesmt see it as SA . But I do. ALL humans are entitled to an intact body, no?
Funny thing is I got ‘circumcised’ for religoois reasons… but Ive been an atheist my whole life…so…what do I do now?..
Yup i was a work at a apartment building when a guest was staying at an apartment they waylayed me in the stairwell i froze as they kissed me and forced themselves on me only thing running through my mind was just go with it if they say i was the one who assaulted them instead i could lose my job or in trouble legally since it would be my word against there word. Luckly before we got to sex i was able to convice them i would come back another time i can’t do it now and i made sure to never see them around again and avoided them while they were around.
My father forced me to masturbate to child porn by pretending to be a girl at my school on AIM. I would get scared and freaked out, stop responding to the account, then he would call me and demand that I keep talking to this “girl” because he was bothering him at work. Very graphic, explicit highly illegal shit. He also encouraged me to share his sex toys. Once he made me jerk him off.
Later he planted CSAM on my stepfathers laptop and got him fired from his job, arrested, years long court case attempting to prove his innocence before they finally dropped the case when we found time stamped photos proving my step dad was not at home. The FBI dropped the case right before trial.
Nothing happened to my Dad. He died a decade later still a PoS. There was a funeral, but I didn’t tell any of his friends. He didn’t deserve mourning. This all happened when I was between 12 and 20. The last time I talked to him before he passed, when I was 30ish. My girlfriend at the time left the room, and apropos of nothing he asked what kind of porn I liked and suggested ways to hide it from her.
You deserved better, fuck that guy
Yup. Twice.
🫂
And the wild part? I didn’t even think of it as assault, but when i recently (maybe a year or two ago) reframed as “the inebriated cannot consent” I’d have to say, that definitely happened twice. I blamed myself for being drunk both times. Neither time has ever sit well with me, even before I reframed it.
And in both cases, the other, I feel weird even saying assailant, was stone sober.
A friend’s ex (not ex at the time) apparently sucked my dick when I was blackout drunk. She “confessed” to him, but told him I initiated, and that fucked up the friendship for a while until he confronted me about it and I set things straight. I’m pretty sure he believed me, she had a bunch of other behavioral problems and she’d cheated before, but things are still weird. At least they’re not together anymore.
Yes. (I am a woman and pretty old so I guess it goes without saying but yes.)
I actually have an important story to add. Its not my story but it is relevant and youll see why…
A few months after I graduated high school it came out that ome of the teachers at that high school had actually been secretly abusing a girl that used to attend there for years and years. I think that she only reported it only because she felt that now she was safe and free to do so after she graduated ( she never actually publicly said that this was her reasom to come forward now but it made sense that she reported it a few months after she graduated but didnt report it before cause what was stopping her all those years? Im guessing The dictatorial asshole who could ruin her school life is what Im guessing stopped her. That was how I saw the situation)
A disgustingly large number of the people who were commenting on the news story’s comment section said something along the lines: ‘Oh! MayBe sHe LikEd It ThatS whY it ToOk hEr So lonG to rEpOrt IT’ … 😐…🤢🤮
The best part was that whne the school’s administrators and principal were asked what would be done to ensure such a thing never repeats they all gave such generic bullshit answers lioe ‘it was a ome time thing’ , ‘it wont happen again cause it just wont’ , or some corporate bullshit amswer along the lines of : ‘we will conduct an internal investigation and see what we can do to emsure it never happens again. Our previous internal investigation was thorough …and we found that we did nothing wrong😋👍🏻’
We have sad stories like this coming out again and again and again (heck yoy can even hit up r/NotADragQueen on reddit for yet even more stories like these) and humanity seems reluctant to make any permanent changes to ensure that sad stories like this are made practically impossible ever again.
Also Im sorry for your pain once again 🫂
🫂
Im so sorry for the pain you had to silently carry for years
But something Ill add is The thing I find fucked up is that we have stories like yours happening agaim and again and again and they keep on and keep on and keep om happenimg …and yet…humanity hasnt dont a darned thing to permanently change this.
We will have stories just like yours here once again in 20 years whehn someone askes this same question to the next generation sadly…
Itll never end until humanity ensures that it ends.
Sorry once again 🫂
Yes, many years ago an ex girlfriend and I were breaking up and she spent about an hour trying to convince me to have sex one last time. I eventually caved because then I thought, oh well you don’t know when sex is coming next.
About half way through while I was on top I stopped, got up, cleaned myself off, walked out and never saw her again. That’s gotta be the ultimate rejection for her.
Im sorry for your pain 🫂
But something ill add is that … she did say she was gonna force you to have sex with her… so… at that point you sjould give her what evrr little amount of sex you want to give her…and just leave when you feel comfortable to leave.
If someone forces you to do something, why should you give it your all? Its your body and your time. USe your body and your time how you want to use it.
Also sorry for your pain again 🫂
There’s no longer any pain, this was around 20 years ago but thanks for the concern anyway. In hindsight, we both were very insecure and people with low self esteem. I have learned alot since then but still have a lot more to learn.
Once in my favorite bar a long long time ago a very large guy I knew from an atheist group heard me saying I was bi and I guess mistakenly thought I was into him, he got really drunk and groped my inner thigh like right next to my crotch and put his face like 1 inch away from mine. I was frozen in place in shock and confusion.
Dude wanted an otter and thought I was down… He got shoo’d away by bar staff. I felt weirdly guilty.
Then at work an old lady with dementia kept sexually harassing me. Grabbed me multiple times tightly. Then once literally walked up to me and said “I would like to have sex with you” just full stop. I hid in my office a lot if I saw her absently wandering around the center.
What workplace hires a person with dementia?!
She didn’t… community center with a senior citizen program. Husband wanted to play pool and kept bringing his wife with dementia along with him because he did not have the money to put her in a proper care facility. She eventually got barred from entering because of all the incidents.
Does the American public count, with respect to elections?
But also it’s possible they worked in a place that cares for people with dementia, they didn’t say it was a co-worker. Plenty of retail jobs might have frequent encounters too.
As a teen by a couple young women and a young guy, as a young adult by multiple women in bars for the SA part. Coerced was ever to common in earlier relationships. Seemed common that I would get guilt tripped and told things like why don’t you find me attractive and on and on continuously making full on situations where basically if I didn’t just do it my life was going to be miserable around them and not around them since the invention of the cell phone. Eventually I got out of those relationships and think I kind of became not asexual because I am still sexually attracted do things, but have found I almost prefer a relationship with no sex because I have never found myself in a healthy relationship with a partner who could talk openly about sex that wasn’t a casual relationship.
