I have. And I think folks should be able to talk about it without being stigmatized or harassed for sharing their experiences.
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OP, please mark this post as NSFW.
Yes, I have. The others in my party who saw it happen just laughed about it.
Was molested once by a woman to whom I agreed to give a ride. She was probably just homeless and looking for somewhere to sleep.
Yes, and it went beyond that. I have accepted that I’ll probably never be able to have a normal sex life.
Yeah, as a child and as an adult. As a child by the ones that should have protected me and as an adult man by drunk women who mimic the behavior they experience.
Fuck in sad world. I have a good therapist and hardship built me so i got shit tons of empathy and a thick skin to deal with everything thrown at me.
Yeah. One time by a stranger that lured me to their car with baseball cards and candy. Legit, no joke. There is a reason those PSAs exist. Another time by a neighbor. And the last time was by my friend’s grandmother. All of this happened before I was 10, I didn’t tell anyone until much later in life.
🫂
Im so sorry for the pain you had to silently carry for years
But something Ill add is The thing I find fucked up is that we have stories like yours happening agaim and again and again and they keep on and keep on and keep om happenimg …and yet…humanity hasnt dont a darned thing to permanently change this.
We will have stories just like yours here once again in 20 years whehn someone askes this same question to the next generation sadly…
Itll never end until humanity ensures that it ends.
Sorry once again 🫂
I’ve managed better than a lot of people, and it’s because I have been incredibly gifted with some of the best friends I could ever ask for.
I agree that it won’t end until humanity ensures it ends. I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but I don’t believe that will ever happen. It may be reduced, and I hope it is, but I don’t think it will ever go away. The most important thing is early and empathetic help. We need to be better as a society in reaching out to those that have been hurt and giving them all the support they need. This stretches well beyond sexual abuse, too. Mental health is something we are culturally just now embracing, and we need to be more proactive about it. We need to create safe spaces for those that need it before we know there are those that need it, lest we let those in truly difficult times endure the worst of it. We can do better. And while I don’t think it will ever end, I think we can do better about helping those in trouble. No one deserves it, and no one deserves to suffer because of it.
Yes and every woman I know personally has either been raped or sexually assaulted. My own mother and sisters included. I have a sneaking suspicion that my dad has his own story, but I don’t know the details.
My ex-husband was propositioned by his step-father when he turned 18 years old.
My best friend was routinely raped by her husband until she could finally leave him.
My own stories are varied and have happened sporadically through my life.
I’m a woman.
I was SA-ed when I was 7. A teacher saved me, it would have been more than SA if he hadn’t. My mother said “I know, don’t mention it again” when I told her.
I’ve been coerced into sex by both my (ex) husband and boyfriends multiple times because I thought women had a duty to say yes when they wanted sex. I was forced to have anal sex without lube a bunch of times.
I never want to have sex with a guy again.
First off, may I just say fuck your mother for dismissing such an awful thing that happened to you. Are you low/no-contact with her?
Second, I’m sorry that experience was the beginning of so many others. I don’t know your orientation or preferences, but I at least hope you can find a stable relationship with someone who respects you more than the men you’ve had in your life so far.
That’s awful, your mom failed you.
🫂
When I was around 20(M) my older boss regularly tried it on with me. She always tried to lean into me with her large chest. Then one day she basically exposed herself to me.
Another coworker said she did this with him too. Eventually we both explained this to upper management and she was gone within the week.
I always felt bad because Iin this case it was addressed quickly. Yet I know if my female co workes were in a similar situation… Well, I hear enough to believe that the story would be different. For the worse.
I had a co-worker I reported for SH. Turns out other folks hare reported her too. She got fired.
My complaint was the one that got her fired. She had 3 other complaints already from 3 other folks.
Some people have told me I am a ‘snitch’ for doing it. But guess what, my workplace is a lot more pleasant with that person gone than it was the year they were around…
You shouldn’t feel bad. She was a repeat abuser. Don’t feel bad for protecting others.
Yes, was SA’s by a priest when I was a kid (mid 1970s), along with a lot of other people over a 30-40 year span. In the late 1980s, there was a joint lawsuit against him, with about 130 cases, many willing to testify. But he was a “pillar of the community,” and had stronger support (and lawyers) on his side. It went back and forth for a few years, then he died of a heart attack. The case kind of died with him, except his widow went after some of us with ruthless cruelty and legal harassment.
It wasn’t the priest in my case, it was elder members of the Church. Nothing could be proved, I still deal with it now, happened in the 80’s.
I have a very strong aversion to religion an spirituality in general, it fundamentally changed who I am.
I got so angry the other day, they stole any spirituality I could participate in. I felt jealous of those who have it.
But I play a mean guitar, I am filthy.
And I help others with trauma issues.
It helps.
Good luck in your journey my friend.
I am a male hetrosexual
I have been coerced before, by my ex wife.
Long story made short, if she wanted sex and I didn’t, and I said no, it would always pan out the same way. We’d start at “Did I do something wrong?” And end up at “everyone hates me and I should just go ahead and kill myself.” So I stopped saying no even if I didn’t want to, because honestly it was faster to just give her what she wanted.
As a man, it feels so minor compared to what everyone else will associate with sexual abuse, but my therapist tells me abuse is abuse and that nobody would question it if the genders were reversed.
It’s had effects even 5 years after we’ve separated, but I’m getting better. Learning to take up space again.
You are really lucky to have a good therapist. And they are 100% right.
It’s not minor at all. She sounds really manipulative and in desperate need of professional help. I hope she gets it before she hurts more people.
We were young and both had our issues, and we’re both better off separated.
I’ve found a new relationship (when you find the right person, you understand why it didn’t work with anyone else) and I’m in a much better place overall.
She’s now a he (FtM trans) and is much more stable as a result. He’s a teacher at a school in a city 4.5 hours away from me, and has remarried.
I consider myself an LGTBQ+ ally, and I fully support my ex’s right to transition and be recognized as his preferred gender. And I can still say that my ex wife was a manipulative piece of work who left scars on me, so I just don’t want anything at all to do with him, even if he’s better.
He deserves happiness, but he can be happy over there, 4.5 hours away.
An ex (female) would scream, cry and otherwise force me if I set boundaries
i had an ex who did this. Lost all interest in sex with her when she started doing it.
I have known enough women to know its pretty prevalent for them. I don’t think that means the intention for it to happen to men is less as much as its a bit trickier to do so happens less. It gets a bit wierd though because its kinda hard to have consensual sex without a certain amount of going for it and stopping if you meet resistance. Heck. Like it or not even resistance has wierd societal things. I can say I dated a girl who when w made out told me I was going to far so I stopped going that far until she communicated she was ready. She dumped me for a guy that im sure was not as conscientious in that way as I. I also knew one that talked about this great guy that she wished things had gone better. I asked about the physical relation and she said it never went anywhere because he did not push for it. I asked if she had with other guys who did push who she did not like as much and she said yes. Sex is complicated.
Yes, many years ago an ex girlfriend and I were breaking up and she spent about an hour trying to convince me to have sex one last time. I eventually caved because then I thought, oh well you don’t know when sex is coming next.
About half way through while I was on top I stopped, got up, cleaned myself off, walked out and never saw her again. That’s gotta be the ultimate rejection for her.
Im sorry for your pain 🫂
But something ill add is that … she did say she was gonna force you to have sex with her… so… at that point you sjould give her what evrr little amount of sex you want to give her…and just leave when you feel comfortable to leave.
If someone forces you to do something, why should you give it your all? Its your body and your time. USe your body and your time how you want to use it.
Also sorry for your pain again 🫂
There’s no longer any pain, this was around 20 years ago but thanks for the concern anyway. In hindsight, we both were very insecure and people with low self esteem. I have learned alot since then but still have a lot more to learn.
I’ve had my full dick and balls groped by an older (like 50’s) lady at one of my jobs (I was maybe 20-21). Brought it up to management and was told “What!? No way! She’s just a sweet old lady, she would never do anything like that!”
Meanwhile she not only grabbed my whole ass genitalia, she whispered “I’d love to see all this up close” while doing so.
No one ever believed me and it happened multiple times hence why I no longer work there…
🫂
I hear this so often from young men (or men who were at one point young men). It’s absolutely disgusting and should be spoken about more. Even if they do believe the men, they’ll say they’re somehow “lucky” to have gotten a woman’s attention.
I’m so sorry it happened to you.
I can totally believe that. I spent most of my teenage years playing bass in my dads band, the band played mostly in pubs, bars and restaurants, audience was usually +40 years of age. It was quite a surprise for me how aggressive a middle aged drunk woman can be. I got touched so much for years, until I learned to run off stage and dive into the van or back stage room, which ever was the closest.
I believe you.
Once in my favorite bar a long long time ago a very large guy I knew from an atheist group heard me saying I was bi and I guess mistakenly thought I was into him, he got really drunk and groped my inner thigh like right next to my crotch and put his face like 1 inch away from mine. I was frozen in place in shock and confusion.
Dude wanted an otter and thought I was down… He got shoo’d away by bar staff. I felt weirdly guilty.
Then at work an old lady with dementia kept sexually harassing me. Grabbed me multiple times tightly. Then once literally walked up to me and said “I would like to have sex with you” just full stop. I hid in my office a lot if I saw her absently wandering around the center.
What workplace hires a person with dementia?!
Does the American public count, with respect to elections?
But also it’s possible they worked in a place that cares for people with dementia, they didn’t say it was a co-worker. Plenty of retail jobs might have frequent encounters too.
She didn’t… community center with a senior citizen program. Husband wanted to play pool and kept bringing his wife with dementia along with him because he did not have the money to put her in a proper care facility. She eventually got barred from entering because of all the incidents.
