because most (or at least too many) people do believe they become wiser getting older. Which is… a bit optimistic, to say the least, and at least as simplistic.

screen time is just a limit on time to learn if the kid is using it for the right purposes which you should teach them to

That too is a bit simplistic.

Screen time is (supposed to be) a teaching/control tool. Like school used to be about teaching kids limits and the value of hard work. Screen time is supposed to help kids learn there is a life outside of that phone… a very worthy motivation that completely fell flat when those kids can see adults around them waste their entire life on said phone, doing more or less stupid things like some junkies do their drug things.

But no matter how stupid adults can be around kids, the idea of giving kids some help in learning selfcontrol is great…A bit like putting safety wheels on a bike is a great idea when a kid first learn to ride a bike.

As far as “the right purpose” goes, like we would all agree that learning stuff would be one such right purpose, I would be devastated to see kids only get their knowledge through a phone. Even more so realizing kids can’t focus on a single task much anymore. Here in France, the gov recently published a study revealing that something like 40+% (if not 50+, I can’t recalll the exact number) kids that are reading books (on their phone or on paper) also use their phone at the same time to do other things (social, or videos like TikTok, or even play games). And then one will wonder why school results are collapsing…

Ultimately, I think it’s a convenient excuse to cover for how truly difficult it is to teach people important things.

The adult mostly doesn’t actually remember the specific logical and/or experiential steps that contributed to whatever understanding they now have. The events are too disconnected in time, and too large in quantity to really parse that way. You need that background info to teach well, though, otherwise you can’t handle questions, you can’t explain, etc, which are all genuinely important parts of teaching.

So, it’s easier to just handwave the problem away and focus on going to work, whatever is for dinner tonight, what’s going on in the neighborhood, cleaning the house, etc etc etc, and leave the teaching to the ostensibly qualified people.

If you want to attempt to do things differently, when you learn something life-lessony, remember that to teach it to a teenager someday, it’s not good enough to have just learned the thing. You’re also going to have to be able to offer a decent-enough explanation and answer any questions.

The screens are designed to be addicting. That’s not hyperbole. They literally use data scientists to increase the amount of time and money you spend on them. The longer you scroll, the more time you’re playing the game, the more money the developers make on average. Online service providers don’t care about your wellbeing. Your parents do. Just like there’s more food than chips and cake, there’s more to life than being on a screen. Investing in long term hobbies, skills, and friendships won’t have the instant gratification to compete with a video game, but 10 years from now you will think back way more fondly on your hours skateboarding or learning to play guitar than the ones you lost online.

most of the times you dont need twenty thousand rules for your kids they will learn what makes them feel like krud and work on it

I dont really understand the question so correct me if im misinterpreting.

Because (in most cases) kids lack wisdom even when they know a lot. The reason screen time is being limited is generally because they arent using it in healthy moderation. People arent telling kids to finish their plate when they have no issue finishing the plate.

Kids do need the rules and guidance because they do not have the life experience to make proper value judgements for things a long time into the future. Some kids do but most do not.

wisdom at 18? fuck me, im 61 and the only thing I’m certain about is that humanity, myself included in that venn diagram, lacks any wisdom at all.

…

Because they are.

Hell there is a substantial number of people who stay allergic to wisdom their entire lives.

Part of it is arrogant bullshit stemming from a complete inability to accurately remember what the experience of being young was like. Most people suck ass at honest self-assessment at every stage of life, so they fall into the trap of thinking they and their cohort were different than “kids these days” and are unable to empathize with or relate to young people because of this.

Part of it is that kids genuinely just aren’t fully developed neurologically, in ways that frequently lead to making shortsighted decisions with negative results. Unfortunately that’s still true way past 18, it’s an arbitrary threshold and the expectation that people should instantly stop acting childish at 18 is just as stupid as assuming that anyone younger than 18 is categorically incapable of making the right decisions for themselves.

The specific examples you’re using have some reasonable claim to option 2 depending on the context. Even as adults most people struggle to some degree with eating healthy nutritionally balanced diets, and children generally have less self-discipline so it can be more of a problem for them. Forcing kids to eat things they don’t want is a bad idea though, you’ll just give them a complex about eating and make them hate that specific food forever. My parents rule was that I never had to finish anything I didn’t like, but I had to try at least one bite of everything before deciding I didn’t like it. Worked like a charm, I eat everything.

Screen time is similar, plenty of adults struggle with regulating their gaming and social media usage, and the companies that make games and websites get paid more when people use their stuff more, so they have an incentive to design things to be addictive and predatory. Adults assuming that all screen time is bad for kids are stupid, but it is possible that an adult might recognize a predatory system that a child wouldn’t have any experience with and save them from being taken advantage of. Best practice is to actually pay attention to what’s on your kids’ screen and discuss it openly with them. Unfortunately a lot of adults don’t want to do that because it’s difficult, they default to either assuming all screen time is bad or to not trying at all, so their kids are either needlessly restricted in their growth or exposed to the worst the internet has to offer. Both bad.

Tldr the adults you’re dealing with aren’t necessarily completely wrong but they’re probably still full of shit

Experience I guess. Also most people stay allergic to wisdom way past 18.

Many adults arent wise

Because many adults don’t acknowledge that they are a part of their kids’ learning expperience.

They assume that kids will magically become smarter the second they turn 18, and don’t understand that kids have to be exposed to information and some adversity before then (ideally with guidance from parents) to learn enough.

Social media is very addictive, because it’s designed that way… so let’s regulate the social media and their intentionally addictive practices, rather than blaming kids and ripping them away from some of the only “socialization” our society allows kids to have.

“Go bike to your friend’s house” doesn’t work, because the last two generations have built eight-game highways everywhere.

Kids may have knowledge but wisdom how to use it often comes when personal responsibility kicks in.

Like I do know how to do shenanigans. I’ve had that knowledge since I was kid. Now I won’t do it as I’m acoountable for my actions and I can refer to what other people feel about them. So it’s wise not to.

Knowledge and wisdom are not the same. Wisdom is knowledge compounded by experience. The examples you list are not wisdom, nor are they necessarily knowledge. They are parenting techniques with obvious flaws.

As for 18 being the magic number, that’s pretty societally arbitrary. Sure, one is legally an adult at 18 in many societies, but that doesn’t mean they have life experience to amount to having wisdom. Many 18 year olds know enough to function in society, but they’re realistically still children from a developmental standpoint. There’s no magic age for anything.

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