Are partners in abusive relationships complicit in and supportive of their own abuse?
Can you conceive of being in a relationship without actively supporting everything your partner does?
Do you think the wives and husbands of murderers are morally deficient if they don’t divorce their spouses in jail?
For that matter, do you think Kristi Noem’s justification of killing the dog is so impossible that her husband could not possibly believe it to have been reasonable?
This guilt-by-association is ugly and wrong. Some corners of the internet fetishise cutting off all contact with people the moment they transgress, but most people are in fact more forgiving than that, and so should they be.
I do think that people can be abused to the point of supporting their spouses, but I see no reason to give this shitbag the benefit of the doubt. What makes you think her husband doesn’t support her? Would you stay married to her? What is there to forgive here? She campaigned on repugnant points, she supports Trump, she led ICE and she kills dogs. This is not a single transgression, she is a monster. He chooses to stay with her and not speak out against her. That is support.
So silence, in your interesting world, is the same as support? I think silence is silence, and support is support. If your partner decides to quit their job and pursue a new career in the arts or as a nurse, and the must you can muster is to say nothing, I don’t call that being supportive. I think you only call it support when you want to criticise someone.
What makes you think her husband doesn’t support her?
I prefer to not publicly shame people for the actions of their family and for their sexual predilections. I prefer to be silent (note - not supportive) unless there is evidence of they themselves doing something wrong.
She campaigned on repugnant points
Did he?
she supports Trump
Does he?
she led ICE
Did he?
and she kills dogs.
Does he?
Sorry to belabour the point, but I think it bears repeating. You know there are families where different members voted different ways? In recent years in my country, a colleague of a friend of mine was the father of someone who became prime minister. The friend divulged that their politics were very far apart, and you know what he did? He said absolutely nothing. So silence doesn’t mean agreement, either.
FATHER. You do not choose your father. This is not her brother, sister, father or cousin, son or daughter. This is her husband. Who CHOOSE to be her family. Who chooses her every day. It’s bizarre to me you don’t think being married is support.
You said that silence is support, do you in fact agree it must be something else, if a father remaining silent is not supporting his child?
You don’t know what’s going through this man’s mind every day. You don’t know if he’s filed for divorce or wracked by indecision. You don’t know and don’t care, because to you he’s just the enemy, with no inner life or personhood at all, to be mocked and shamed for actions he didn’t take, for beliefs he may never have had, and for sexual preferences you think are fair game as long as they belong to someone you hate.
I’m not saying you have to go cuddle the guy for goodness’ sake.
I am judging a man by his actions. I do not have access to his inner thoughts. If he wants to be judged based on his ideas, he must live by them. I am not saying silence is support. I am saying choosing her as his wife every day is support.
But you don’t know that he “chooses her every day” because that choice is something that happens or does not happen inside his mind. There are people saying in this thread that they’re separated. How would that be “choosing” her for example?
His actions are not actions. They are inaction. He has not divorced her. He has not spoken out against her.
Are partners in abusive relationships complicit in and supportive of their own abuse?
Can you conceive of being in a relationship without actively supporting everything your partner does?
Do you think the wives and husbands of murderers are morally deficient if they don’t divorce their spouses in jail?
For that matter, do you think Kristi Noem’s justification of killing the dog is so impossible that her husband could not possibly believe it to have been reasonable?
This guilt-by-association is ugly and wrong. Some corners of the internet fetishise cutting off all contact with people the moment they transgress, but most people are in fact more forgiving than that, and so should they be.
I do think that people can be abused to the point of supporting their spouses, but I see no reason to give this shitbag the benefit of the doubt. What makes you think her husband doesn’t support her? Would you stay married to her? What is there to forgive here? She campaigned on repugnant points, she supports Trump, she led ICE and she kills dogs. This is not a single transgression, she is a monster. He chooses to stay with her and not speak out against her. That is support.
So silence, in your interesting world, is the same as support? I think silence is silence, and support is support. If your partner decides to quit their job and pursue a new career in the arts or as a nurse, and the must you can muster is to say nothing, I don’t call that being supportive. I think you only call it support when you want to criticise someone.
I prefer to not publicly shame people for the actions of their family and for their sexual predilections. I prefer to be silent (note - not supportive) unless there is evidence of they themselves doing something wrong.
Did he?
Does he?
Did he?
Does he?
Sorry to belabour the point, but I think it bears repeating. You know there are families where different members voted different ways? In recent years in my country, a colleague of a friend of mine was the father of someone who became prime minister. The friend divulged that their politics were very far apart, and you know what he did? He said absolutely nothing. So silence doesn’t mean agreement, either.
FATHER. You do not choose your father. This is not her brother, sister, father or cousin, son or daughter. This is her husband. Who CHOOSE to be her family. Who chooses her every day. It’s bizarre to me you don’t think being married is support.
You said that silence is support, do you in fact agree it must be something else, if a father remaining silent is not supporting his child?
You don’t know what’s going through this man’s mind every day. You don’t know if he’s filed for divorce or wracked by indecision. You don’t know and don’t care, because to you he’s just the enemy, with no inner life or personhood at all, to be mocked and shamed for actions he didn’t take, for beliefs he may never have had, and for sexual preferences you think are fair game as long as they belong to someone you hate.
I’m not saying you have to go cuddle the guy for goodness’ sake.
I am judging a man by his actions. I do not have access to his inner thoughts. If he wants to be judged based on his ideas, he must live by them. I am not saying silence is support. I am saying choosing her as his wife every day is support.
But you don’t know that he “chooses her every day” because that choice is something that happens or does not happen inside his mind. There are people saying in this thread that they’re separated. How would that be “choosing” her for example?
His actions are not actions. They are inaction. He has not divorced her. He has not spoken out against her.