Under what does someone fall, who regularly forgets that sex exists, immune to flirting, needs external reminders/influence and effort to get in to the mood, cant wrap their head around attraction at all and completely hates the hand their dealt with?
Probably because the identities we circle back to often have merit even if we don’t like it (the number of years I kept finding stupid arguments that I wasn’t trans…)
It sounds like you dislike this about yourself. You could check to see if there’s a medical issue causing extremely low libido. But fair warning, it may just result in you being horny and not finding anyone attractive.
But there is, it causes problems and puts unproportionaly much pressure on the other side. Aka the other side needs to do the initiating 99% of the times, which creates the feeling of not being wanted.
Coupled with the constant rejection as well isn’t that good on self esteem either.
Like in relationships posts which get more popular, there are always guys who complain how they’re tired from constantly initiating and don’t feel wanted, which leads to them just giving up all together.
Let me put it this way: Do you hate a gay man for not wanting to fuck women? Asexuality is a valid part of the spectrum. If you have no interest, then you have no interest. But it doesn’t mean you can’t have an intimate relationship or love. Plenty do it. The key is communication - if your partner thinks you have sexual feelings but are rejecting them then it’s a very different beast to "I don’t have sexual feelings for anyone"
there are always guys who complain how they’re tired from constantly initiating and don’t feel wanted
If you’re talking the broader complaints of society here, that’s a very different kettle of fish, and a lot of it is tied into not doing the work before just going “snog me, woman!”
I may have gotten my terms mixed up, but I think demi is reactive sexuality, someone who gets turned on by their partner getting turned on. Requires a bond / connection. Not really interested without it.
I’m not super familiar with terms on that ace spectrum though. It’s somewhere on there.
Fair, reactively getting turned on kinda fits under outside influence part. Though cant tell anything about the bond/connection aspect, as thats way too vague and complicated for me.
Hey now! I may be autistic but I assure you I don’t ever forget sex exists and im horny like 90~95% of the time, but I am completely oblivious to flirting or interesting shown so that doesn’t get mitigated as much as I’d like
Under what does someone fall, who regularly forgets that sex exists, immune to flirting, needs external reminders/influence and effort to get in to the mood, cant wrap their head around attraction at all and completely hates the hand their dealt with?
That would be asexual
Ace, or graysexual
Damnit, i always circle back to that one.
Probably because the identities we circle back to often have merit even if we don’t like it (the number of years I kept finding stupid arguments that I wasn’t trans…)
It sounds like you dislike this about yourself. You could check to see if there’s a medical issue causing extremely low libido. But fair warning, it may just result in you being horny and not finding anyone attractive.
Aro/ace.
You need to work on detangling intimacy and sex in your brain, there’s no reason to hate lack of drive.
But there is, it causes problems and puts unproportionaly much pressure on the other side. Aka the other side needs to do the initiating 99% of the times, which creates the feeling of not being wanted. Coupled with the constant rejection as well isn’t that good on self esteem either.
Like in relationships posts which get more popular, there are always guys who complain how they’re tired from constantly initiating and don’t feel wanted, which leads to them just giving up all together.
no, there is no reason to hate lack of drive.
Let me put it this way: Do you hate a gay man for not wanting to fuck women? Asexuality is a valid part of the spectrum. If you have no interest, then you have no interest. But it doesn’t mean you can’t have an intimate relationship or love. Plenty do it. The key is communication - if your partner thinks you have sexual feelings but are rejecting them then it’s a very different beast to "I don’t have sexual feelings for anyone"
If you’re talking the broader complaints of society here, that’s a very different kettle of fish, and a lot of it is tied into not doing the work before just going “snog me, woman!”
Pretty sure that’s demi.
Others are saying grey or ace. Why demi then?
I may have gotten my terms mixed up, but I think demi is reactive sexuality, someone who gets turned on by their partner getting turned on. Requires a bond / connection. Not really interested without it.
I’m not super familiar with terms on that ace spectrum though. It’s somewhere on there.
Fair, reactively getting turned on kinda fits under outside influence part. Though cant tell anything about the bond/connection aspect, as thats way too vague and complicated for me.
Autistic.
Well yeah, little bit of that too. That’s what probably makes it more confusing.
Hey now! I may be autistic but I assure you I don’t ever forget sex exists and im horny like 90~95% of the time, but I am completely oblivious to flirting or interesting shown so that doesn’t get mitigated as much as I’d like