• Nima@leminal.space
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    14 days ago

    i have a strong opinion of myself. it’s not positive. even in the slightest.

    when people say bad things about me I believe them. i don’t remember anything positive. cause I assume they’re just wrong.

    • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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      13 days ago

      Same!

      I’ve even chased friends away either because they got tired of me doubting their sincerity when they say nice things, or because I got tired of annoying them by doubting their sincerity when they say nice things. Either way, I couldn’t deal with the constant anxiety of “I don’t know if I can trust you because you’re not openly insulting me.”

      Some people might think I have a humiliation fetish. I don’t. I’m just extremely insecure and humiliation is what I’m used to. Like a comfort zone almost. It’s familiar territory, unlike affection or admiration. I’ve ended relationships because I couldn’t understand why or how a person could genuinely like me for who I am, so I thought it must be part of some plot to destroy me.

      • Nima@leminal.space
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        12 days ago

        I’m similar. i have had close groups of friends before but I always assume I’m unwanted so I tend to withdraw and quietly leave. or try to leave. and people are confused and ask me to stay.

        and I just end up looking at them like they’re lost or something.