“Still not over the American woman who was super surprised to see so many men walking around with strollers and generally looking after their children alone during her travels through the Nordic countries.”
Bolognese sauce: https://satwcomic.com/the-implication-of-that
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As a single dad in the Bible belt of PA, I feel this. I always got weird looks. I just love being a Dad.
Pennsylvania, USA
Not a single dad, but my wife was gone for a year when our daughter was two. I used to watch moms struggling with kids in the grocery store and no one batted an eye (GA, USA). I’d do grocery shopping with mine in the cart and keep her amused while shopping and checking out and on more than one occasion for compliments about what a great dad I was.
I love my girls and spend as much time with them as I can and do things with them all the time. Still, my wife gets nothing and I occasionally still get pats on the back and compliments on doing basic dad stuff from both men and women.
Always struck me as such a weird thing. Sometimes moms really need more recognition too, I think.
That’s a weird one. On the one hand, men in many areas somehow still absurdly think of childrearing as women’s work, and a positive feedback when they act like a parent can help things in a better direction… but it also seems absurd to praise an adult for doing what really should be the bare minimum, clapping for them like a child who remembered to use the potty.
A friend of a friend of mine visited Stockholm from the US. She loved it, but was really puzzled by “all the gay nannies” until she was told they were the fathers.
So what do American fathers do on mandatory parental leave, just sit at home?
Oh, wait, there is no mandatory parental leave for fathers in the US, is there?
12 weeks (optional)
If you are insanely lucky at that
No, no, thats just how long before landlords evict you.
Hahaha… not in the us… You usually get 30 days max. In a lot of situations, 3 days is all thats required here.
Depends on situatiom and region
With most rent being on 30 day periods.
Had to use all of my vacation and sick time banked up (unless I wanted/could afford to take a temp pay cut and go through government time off programs). That still only got me a few weeks.
Lol, federally we don’t have paid parental leave for mothers either. If there are 50+ employees both parents can take up to 12 weeks unpaid, and states may force paid leave to be offered.
And yeah, I’m not a parent, but I’ve noticed that over the years there’s been more and more of a move towards fathers taking part in the nurturing parenting (as opposed to mainly being involved via providing, instruction, and discipline)
Video games while the kid watches from a bumbo chair of course.
You joke but my youngest learned to jump from Laura Croft.
Mid-2020 my wife was playing through the Tomb Raider remakes and left the computer to go fo something and my youngest walked up and pressed the biggest button that they could reach, the space bar, then was amazed to see the button caused something to happen on screen, so they kept doing it. Then the mimicry kicked in and they started trying to copy what they saw on screen and proceeded to jump for the very first time
really puzzled by “all the gay nannies”
Damn, that’s some eastern europe type phrasing
I’m from the US and I did the stroller thing often. My kids are out of strollers now, but when I go run I see dads often enough out pushing one or two kids. I take my kids to the park a lot and say hey to the other moms and dads I know. I volunteer for things at my kids school, in their classes. One time it was me and two other dads, although that does seem to lean more heavily toward moms. I think moms are still better at other peoples’ kids, at least I know that’s not a strength of mine.
I think my generation of parents, right now, is equal responsibility. I have had to correct some extended family members, when my family shows up to a gathering and we have food, they automatically assumey wife made it, and I’ll dissuade them of that notion. But that’s coming from a generation of people where that’s how it was, and I take no offense, and it also doesn’t happen anymore.
I would also not take offense to someone saying “Look at you doing dad stuff,” because hey, it’s not always easy, and encouragement is … encouraging.
… why are the men drawn normally, but the women like that
Yep I’m uncomfortable with it. They could have stereotyped in a way that didn’t need overt sexualisation
If you see all the other comics of this series by the author (a woman, BTW) you realize it’s part of the joke. It’s all about calling out stereotypes and the point is that, all countries are weird in their own way and bringing to light subtleties, similarities and differences beyond the stereotypes.
Yep I get that, just personally uncomfortable with it
It’s playing on the stereotypes of those particular countries. ‘Sister Norway’ isn’t like that at all.
Oh. I thought you were talking about the women’s lack of arms compared to the men.
Booba good; Booby make man happy 🙂
For reference, here are the other countries:
England:
France:
Japan:
Brazil:
I see, bad sample. Thanks!
Every character is a stereotype of a country.
And those are just the female stereotypes of those countries.
Sweden is the home of the women brought home by the vikings. Big breasted beautiful blondes.
The US is the home of the women who go tanning and get plastic surgery.
Swiss don’t fight. They run and hide and mumble how they would totally fight you if they are sure you don’t understand. And they are not happy.
That’s Denmark, if you are referring to the cartoon.
Oh true. I zoomed on the shirt and saw the cross all the way up. Yeah they can fight then
Swiss guard?
The artist of these comics is a woman as well.
Oh honey, I’m so sorry
Do American men not look after their kids?
am a dad, been told I’m ‘babysitting’ my kids a few times.
My brother gets this a lot when he goes out with his daughters, and I have been told my dad got this a lot when I was a young child.
My wife has warned her friends “Never refer to my husband looking after his kids as “babysitting” unless you want a snarky, probably very rude response.”
“How about I sit on your baby”
Not sure I’ve ever been directly told that despite being just me with my daughter most days/weekends due to my wife’s work schedule. Thinking on it, it’s probably that I look way more intimidating than I am
In addition to broadly prevalent ‘traditional’ norms promoted and espoused by men in many, many parts of the US, that assert that caring for a child is innately feminine…
Tons of American women also actively promote patriarchy, they’d call these guys gay and not real men, for taking care of their kids, for being stay at home dads.
I can only speak from personal experience. my father
- never changed my diaper
- beat or screamed at me more than we ever “played ball” or “had fun”
- worked me like a dog
- only gave me approval two weeks before he died
- said he “loved me” five times in my entire life before he died
- never once cared for me while I was sick
as a father myself I
- change diapers when I need to
- never beat my kids
- screamed at them only when they were caught doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous
- let them play and pay them for their work
- play games or watch them play outside
- try to support them as best I can with positivity
- tell them I love them every single day and night
- have stayed up for days caring for them while they were sick
I’m not looking for a medal, or a thank you. All I’m looking for is a bit of appreciation when they grow up and look back when they become parents.
I want to break the cycle of shitty father figures, that’s all.
Generally it’s considered suspicious for an adult man to be alone with a child so it’s safer and more convenient for men not to be involved with their children’s lives in any solo capacity. It stems from this idea of everyone-is-pedophile-expect-for-pedophiles.
This is a BS justification imo
Being alone with your own child is not considered suspicious. Hanging out alone with out a child at a playground sure. Having your own kid in your cart at the grocery store? Absolutely not
But that’s the problem. People here see grown man + child, come to a conclusion, and only accept evidence that reinforces it. It doesn’t matter if it’s your kid, there’s enough idiots that refuse to believe that that your child and you are now in danger.
Don’t buy too much into all the ragebait on the internet. I take my kid to the park all the time and no one has ever so much as looked at me sideways. And no other fathers solo-parenting their kids at the park have ever been accosted during the many, many hours I’ve spent there.
Yes, some idiots foolishly assume man+kid=danger, but this is not a typical reaction at all. People who react negatively and make a scene are an extreme minority.
From an Australian perspective: I agree. I was a foster care case manager for a fair while and whenever I was looking after kids in public I was hyperaware of being accused of something, but I never was. Not even weird looks or glances or anything like that. On the contrary, random women would often compliment me on being a good guardian for the kids because I’d love to muck around and play with them rather than just watch while they played.I slowly deconstructed that fear over time and am in a much better place with it now.
Are you an American? Because that’s pretty common here.
Yes, I’m an American. Are you speaking from personal experience, or going off of what you see online? Because the horror stories you see online are not representative of the whole of society. The scary and outlandish stories make headlines and get shared around by people. Nobody shares links to videos or writes articles about “Father goes to park with kids, everybody is chill and nobody panics”.
Hanging out alone with out a child at a playground sure
Here in Poland playgrounds are often extended with a public outdoor gym or something similar. That solves all problems, making them social centers for both child-free and parents.
E.g.
With fenced playground:
And no fence anywhere
Same thing in Australia. I love getting a quick workout whilst the kids play. The kids love the gym equipment as well.
Wait, I haven’t seen these outdoor gyms around in Sydney. Granted, I’m not paying close attention to playgrounds, in which cities have you seen them?
Nearly every largish playground in western Sydney has some near by. I have also seen them in nearly every playground I have visited in Brisbane area.
I’ll keep my peepers open
But that’s really sad, if you think about it.
“Generally in the USA, it’s considered suspicious.”
That means generally, Americans are unaware of these father-child activities.
That means generally, Americans didn’t have a good father.
Now, a lot of people would intuitively jump to “Nah my dad was ok” - but if this isn’t normal behaviour for you, then you’re just unaware of how bad your whole frame of reference is. That is a tough pill to swallow, though.
Except*
It’s getting better, but you have two factors. One a large portion of men with kids were raised by their mothers, so they don’t know another way. That is shifting though. The other is that American women tend to be more competitive or something. Part of the capitalist society type competitive. People still see the kids as Moms job, so if the kids aren’t dressed right or whatever, it’s Mom’s fault. Pair that with the extra competitiveness and plenty of ladies don’t trust their man tomanage things. And because the Man isn’t going to be judged, he doesn’t have as high a bar for perfection, which just amplifys things.
Like I get my son dressed in the morning. And my wife will often reject my choices. Now I have no fashion sense at all, so she isn’t wrong or anything. If people wouldn’t judge her on my choices, she could relax. Another thing is I handle all the medical and school stuff. But they all still call Mom first. I’ve had to remove her number in some cases. So even a guy who is trying gets undercut. It’s all very messed up.America is just like every other highly patriarchal society: No
Some men are wonderful dads and incredibly involved but culturally speaking American men still very much buy into the concept of “woman’s work” and included in that is women raising his kids for him
It doesn’t help that men looking after thier own kids is seen as “babysitting” or even worse a predator.
There’s plenty of YouTube reviews of men taking thier kids to the park and watching them play while being a parent. Then female parents call the damn cops on the clear dad being a dad.
so my doofus brother’s wife grew up one of those “i refuse to be one of those women who does ‘women’s work’” and just wants to stay home playing video games. and my doofus brother, well, he’s a doofus so neither of them gets their house cleaned. or their food cooked properly. or their clothes cleaned. or any of that shit. it’s embarrassing
Not in my experience. Men behave as if their contribution is either working a job to earn money for the family and/or drinking/physical violence.
Usually both, at least in my region.
When American men look after their children people call the police and accuse them of being pedophiles for daring to be in public with a child.
I have two young daughters. I brought them everywhere by myself. This never happened. Adjust your assumptions.
That is also an anecdote. Really this is something thats very difficult to study accurately, and so forming hard opinions one way or the other is irresponsible.
Except I’m not the one making claims. If all you have is two conflicting anecdotes, then the best you can say is that you know nothing and keep your mouth shut.
So on this topic, we know nothing and should keep our mouths shut.
Exactly
No they don’t
I think it is also specifically racist, implying that the black character didn’t know her father.
Bruh what, its referring to how American fathers often dont have time/arent culturally as used to looking after the kids compared to Scandinavia.
Buddy, that’s a white chick with the Paris Hilton build. It’s that American men are shit or that we don’t get leave from work for either mother or father to have time to spend with their new family addition.
Guy, it’s a cartoon
And? Lots of our greatest stories are cartoons. They still can have a meaning.
I mean stonetoss makes cartoons too.
That’s not to compare the two, this cartoon isn’t racist at all from what I can tell but the defense of being a cartoon is a poor one.
Now apply that same statement to what you said before.
I wasn’t going to reply because I didn’t think it was productive but I’ve had three replies totally misunderstanding what I meant by “it’s a comic”.
The person I was replying to seemed to think it was clear the american was white. As it is a comic, it is very open to interpretation.
I understand I was wrong - I saw another comic with this character being referred to as white and doing something hella racist but all of these replies are totally misunderstanding me.
American workers period, don’t get enough pay or government support, such as free child care, to take time out to care for their families.
So the lowest paid adult, usually the mother, is stuck with childcare duties.
Not to normalize that both parents should be working full-time either in order to support the family, and and be able to invest the time into raising children.
Hell, my partner and I run a cleaning business. We both have to take clients so thst we have a enough money to get by. Plus dragging a kid around with us.
Ouch. Running a business is more than a full-time job! I’m doing that.
It is, but I will say I love it for a lot of reasons. One. I’m by myself for most jobs. Other than my partner or my kid. Which I love enough to tolerate, just kidding, (they’re great, but I’m not a people person, so it can take a toll on me to be someone to someone all the time)
I get to listen to podcast like Legends of avantris and just zone out while doing work. Hell, sometimes the places are still so clean from last time, all I gotta do is dust and wash stuff. It has ups and downs
Depends where on the political spectrum they are.
This is the real answer. The only men I know who act like it isn’t part of their job to be a dad are also super “Christian” and conservative.
In one instance I know of the wife has a college degree but the husband doesn’t. They are quite impoverished because he works and she doesn’t because “it isn’t a woman’s place to earn more than a man”. I’m not fucking kidding or editorializing.
“Yes, my self-image is worth $80,000 a year, why do you ask?”
I’ll be honest, I’ve given real thought to the idea of trying to leverage toxic masculinity to get men to take on more domestic responsibilities.
“What kind of real man needs a woman to cook for him?!”
“Bro, are you telling me that a woman can change a diaper but you can’t?!”
“Dude, if you can’t braid your daughter’s hair and get her to dance lessons on time, are you even a real man?!”
“Be a man, put on that thong. What, a big strong man like you afraid of frilly fabrics? It’s just cotton man, it can’t hurt you. Aww big man afraid of a piece of fabric so sad :'(”
It’s fun, you should do it, I’ve had many interesting interactions when going that route. Most laugh, a few get visibly confused and upset, and bro that’s the greatest part. Its a great litmus test of how comfortable a dude is in their masculinity.
Paternity leave?
yes of course they do.
The number of fathers that gave me shit for taking care of my kids is rediculous. We had our kids 15 months apart and I would routinely have both of them in a public restroom for changing. The pure vitriol directed at me for doing the womens job was immense beyond measure.
On the flip side, when I would take them to the park to play, I would be acosted by nearly every mother there. There were no fathers, just mothers that would have to comment that it was great to see a father participate. I also got a lot of phone numbers that I got very embarrased about and my wife found hilarious.TLDR:. Most american fathers do not put in much effort unless its sports related.
Vitriol for changing a diaper and phone numbers for going to the park? If I was one of those giving out numbers I’d definitely give it to the guy changing the diapers
I don’t think the women were in the restroom he was changing diapers in
The joke is, a caring dad is more attractive to women.
From what I’ve gathered, a married man is more attractive to women. I don’t know just about his wife though.
My kids dad (I am not bio-mom) told me straight up he only wants adult children. I pointed out to him kids ARE adults now and he has no relationship with them due to that attitude. So many fathers want to phone it in then are shocked when they have no meaningful relationship with their kids.
I always liked Ugly Kid Joe’s version of Cats In The Cradle.
Thanks
Ridiculous*
Grew up in America. Father never raised me. It was 100% my mom. My only memories of my dad are him working in his office, him losing his shit if you talked to him during the day (even to say “it’s lunch time, dad”). Him leading the conversation at dinner, him yelling and screaming at my mom and I, and him punishing me if my grades were more than. 5% away from perfect.
At first I thought the American just couldn’t recognize short-haired flat-chested Scandinavian moms as women.
Yeah right.
ummmm…so what’s with the knife?
There’s an old stereotype in Sweden about Finns carrying knives… I guess
Not just in Sweden. I heard a joke on this topic in my high school years, in Denmark
Huh, I’ve probably seen it, but I can’t remember ever seeing a bloke pushing a pram here in the UK.
I see loads of women doing so of course, and I must have seen a man doing so at some point, but not often enough to have any recollection of it ever happening. Strange!
I’m sure I’ll take notice the next time I spot it though.
A nice side of racism with your Euro smugness.
You misspelled “classic Scandinavian rivalry”.
Wait what’s with the knives? That baby is holding one, his dad is giving one to the other baby… I don’t get this reference I’m a brute sorry
SATW always portrays Finland with a knife, so it’s more of an inside joke and not related to this specific comic strip.
All scandinavians has those (fjällkniv, morakniv,…) but the finnish are portrayed, in Scandinavia, as the most isolated/laconic people,the most “manly” ones, hence the knife. Swedes were portrayed as the gayest in the nineties at least (very “woke”), and so on. It’s just cultural stereotypes.
There is also a Swedish stereotype that Finnish people always have knives and that they take them out when they’re drunk.
Thanks for these insights, TIL.
…I want a Scandinavian boyfriend now, these knives are really nice!
When you go into the outdoors don’t you have knives too? I don’t know how to do anything without one
I’m not much of an outdoors person myself however I do own two foldable knives. Indoors I tend to use kitchen knives and the retractable blades sorts which is actually stationery but yes we agree blades are incredibly useful
However having said that easily half the people I know don’t own any blades that cut, not even in their kitchens.
I know! The trick is to sharpen and never use the dishwasher
In sweden you’ll get a viking who do the dishes, and has a knife 😁
🤔 hm… I guess that works too
Swedes were portrayed as the gayest in the nineties at least (very “woke”), and so on.
Also because the way their version of the “Scandinavian language” is very flamboyant
And norwegian is like happy people joking friendly. Can’t imagine one of them actually being angry 😁
Is Finnish dad distributing knives to the kids?
The kids make their own knives in school, but not as babies. They ski as babies.
First time I saw this, I didn’t get it.
2nd time I was drunk, and I immediately got it.I… I don’t know what this means for me as a person. Or how I can improve myself
As a Finn I am deeply insulted by yet strongly approve of the knife thing.
What type of knife do you suggest for a small baby? I’m assuming the joke there is that babies have difficulty handling chef’s knives and that something like a pairing knife would be more appropriate. Or maybe a throwing knife because the loop makes them easier to hold and they are probably going to end up throwing it at some point, so better to use a knife designed for it?
A whittling knife of course
Maybe that baby is from Lahti?
That baby does have the ”roadman” thing down so it’s a sound bet 😂
reminds me of how in australia you’re not allowed to have a big knife unless you have a good reason. i feel like “it’s the national identity” should be a good enough reason
Fully agree. I’d say as an Aussie you could just go ”…Crocodile Dundee, mate”
Whats with the third guy from the left at the top handing off knives to babies?
That’s how Fins ensure appropriate social distancing. The only place Fins come together closer than an arms length is in the sauna.
It’s a survival of the fittest / Finnest kind of thing
That kid is going to stand their ground.
Hän yrittää kasvattaa lapsia oikealla suomalaisella tavalla
