Yeah, that’s not worked for me either, it just micromanages my current hyper-fixation in great detail and depth. It’s a two-wolves situation, with impulsivity and in-depth nerdery
Treat yourself like you would that Labrador puppy. Set guardrails and habit patterns in place. Use positive feedback to turn them into good habits and behaviour loops.
And just like training said Labrador, it’s a LOT fucking easier to say than to actually do!
parents giving kids no discipline, not teaching delayed gratification, and just letting them grow up doing whatever they want instead of forming good habits is a big part of this mess… I know because I suffer from this and it’s too damn easy to blame “neurodivergence”
Those are all issues worth talking about but when you package it this way it gets a little too close to “have you tried not being depressed” meme.
ADHD is a neurocognitive disorder that absolutely includes abnormal brain chemistry, among another few dozen traits that make your suggestions rather shallow.
more like “have you tried resetting your brain and rewiring the way it was wired during your cognitive development” (as I just blamed “a big part of it” on early development)
It absolutely starts before that (as possibly the most heritable disorder), but parenting can definitely exacerbate the disorder. For more context, the set of genes responsible for ADHD are those responsible for producing various collagens (there are many types, they all do something slightly different, but there’s enough overlap that losing one or two will still allow a viable embryo). Collagen does a lot in the body (like holding ligaments to bones, which is why there’s such overlap between hypermobility disorders and ADHD), but one of the main things it affects is the interstitium. The interstitium is the recently classified organ responsible for channeling and distributing the various signaling/growth/immune system molecules throughout the body. When a collagen missense gene fails to create or changes the shape of a collagen subtype, the shape of the interstitium’s grooves and its distribution changes throughout the body; in development, that changes how the brain grows, and what it has access to in its regions (usually leading to deficits in the prefrontal cortex). ADHD and autism are absolutely baked in from the start and impossible to reverse.
Funny how it’s actually the opposite, parents offering too much control, rather than education and understanding, while delegating that education and care to The State and Capital that seeks to exploit, which leaves people unable to care for themselves.
It’s the lack of consequences early on that’s missing. If you give control to kids and they have no natural feedback that they can use to correct themselves, they’re not going to do well. That means letting them fail stuff, get detentions, get bullying, etc. kids need to be left to fail and learn for themselves how to deal. Sure, parents need to offer support and encouragement and help out at certain times too.
So what else do you listen to instead? Asking for a friend…
Personally, a strict routine and a veritable army of spreadsheets to do what the brain will not.
You have to imagine yourself giving advice to a friend.
…The problem is following through
My wife. Saves a ton of money.
The autistic part of my brain (It doesn’t always work out well)
Yeah, that’s not worked for me either, it just micromanages my current hyper-fixation in great detail and depth. It’s a two-wolves situation, with impulsivity and in-depth nerdery
A therapist.
Treat yourself like you would that Labrador puppy. Set guardrails and habit patterns in place. Use positive feedback to turn them into good habits and behaviour loops.
And just like training said Labrador, it’s a LOT fucking easier to say than to actually do!
Aaand it walked in to traffic, again… Comeback here litlle buddy!*
*I once raised a pup with the positive reinforcement method. Such a good and loving dog. I aged very quickly the first 12 months
I think you have to, like, psychologically reanimate the ghost of your mother and then have her tell you what to do.
Doesn’t matter if she’s still alive, you need a functioning ghost.
parents giving kids no discipline, not teaching delayed gratification, and just letting them grow up doing whatever they want instead of forming good habits is a big part of this mess… I know because I suffer from this and it’s too damn easy to blame “neurodivergence”
Those are all issues worth talking about but when you package it this way it gets a little too close to “have you tried not being depressed” meme.
ADHD is a neurocognitive disorder that absolutely includes abnormal brain chemistry, among another few dozen traits that make your suggestions rather shallow.
more like “have you tried resetting your brain and rewiring the way it was wired during your cognitive development” (as I just blamed “a big part of it” on early development)
It absolutely starts before that (as possibly the most heritable disorder), but parenting can definitely exacerbate the disorder. For more context, the set of genes responsible for ADHD are those responsible for producing various collagens (there are many types, they all do something slightly different, but there’s enough overlap that losing one or two will still allow a viable embryo). Collagen does a lot in the body (like holding ligaments to bones, which is why there’s such overlap between hypermobility disorders and ADHD), but one of the main things it affects is the interstitium. The interstitium is the recently classified organ responsible for channeling and distributing the various signaling/growth/immune system molecules throughout the body. When a collagen missense gene fails to create or changes the shape of a collagen subtype, the shape of the interstitium’s grooves and its distribution changes throughout the body; in development, that changes how the brain grows, and what it has access to in its regions (usually leading to deficits in the prefrontal cortex). ADHD and autism are absolutely baked in from the start and impossible to reverse.
Funny how it’s actually the opposite, parents offering too much control, rather than education and understanding, while delegating that education and care to The State and Capital that seeks to exploit, which leaves people unable to care for themselves.
It’s the lack of consequences early on that’s missing. If you give control to kids and they have no natural feedback that they can use to correct themselves, they’re not going to do well. That means letting them fail stuff, get detentions, get bullying, etc. kids need to be left to fail and learn for themselves how to deal. Sure, parents need to offer support and encouragement and help out at certain times too.