When they uproot their “normal life” and move into their vehicle and ask if they can park on your driveway and use your water and electricity and shower all because they don’t want to be part of “the system”.
(He could afford his normal life, we talked about it frequently)
This is going to be a tough one to swallow… but if they never reach put to you unless they need you for help, you’re an accessory.
I’m expecting most answers to be about how to recognize bad people, but here is one if your friends are good decent individuals:
When you fantasize about doing activities with friends, you know none of your current group would vibe with that.
That’s usually more a case when you add a friend group rather than replace one.
Well, obviously you don’t just ghost your old group, but you shouldn’t be surprised if you drift away from them either.
Well “need new friends” doesn’t necessarily have to mean “need to replace your old friends,” even though it’s often interpreted as such. Sometimes you just need more friends than you currently have, even if the ones you have are good ones.
When you can’t be yourself around them without feeling judged by them.
Having been in this position before when I was a huge piece of shit, it would behoove someone to engage in a little introspection. Turns out I was an angsty and emotionally disregulated little twat. To be fair those “friends” also kinda sucked from how they treated me while I was in some of the deepest depression of my life, but I didn’t make it easy to like me.
Hey just wanted say, respec for growing, recognizing your growth, and sharing the experience of checking your own shoes
I’ll do you one better: why do we need friends?
The moments I feel grateful for having a single person in my town to whom I can write any time without any facade or strings attached is when I can’t break out of my shell of self hate on my own.
What do you mean?
If you’re lonely because you don’t have people to hang out with, you need more friends.
If your existing “friends” are shit, you need to not be friends with them. If that puts you in the situation above, then you now need new friends to compensate for losing the shitty ones.
But most people have the drive to meet new people in their teens and twenties, and by 40s you’re fullon in prune friends mode, no new friends.
Occasionally that also leads to needing more friends. Especially if you got pruned instead of pruning.
But it’s really that simple.
If you’re lonely often, you need new friends. Doesnt automatically mean get rid of the old ones.
Like Senor Chang said:
Silver and gold ladies, silver and gold…
you have very strong opinions on particular linux distros
or when you figure out that you’re living in a cult compound
Why’d you repeat yourself?
You’ve got three dead bodies in tarps, a shovel, and a sore back.
Laughing at you rather than with you
Been there. When you don’t feel a connection. When you don’t want to respond to their comms. When you feel dread about speaking with them.
Fwiw, I have the most wonderful friends. Some people just move apart.
Sometimes it’s just better not to have any friends
You don’t want to see them anymore.
Are you stress AF when you’re around your friends ?
they had a kid
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It is weird how a lot of the new norm for parents is to isolate yourself from your friends. I remember a generation ago where parents were a lot more social while still having kids.
There’s a lot more stress now. We’re struggling to make time for anything because we both have to work full time to be able to live in the city. Exhaustion turns into apathy, turns into isolation.
I get that there is more stress, but I also feel like there is a greater distance of friends and a higher “minimally acceptable reason to see friends” which makes the bar to seeing friends seem higher.
Might be so. I also feel like our parents didn’t have social media. The parents of millennials and gen X, that is. They had no choice but to make phone calls, send letters, or see each other in person.
I keep closer contact with my friends almost every day through messaging apps, and so there’s not as much social drought as it might seem when you go only by how often we see each other in person. I also game several times a week with a couple buddies, play badminton—there are other social outlets, so to speak.
genx and boomers i know regurlarly stay in contact through traditional means with friends. the ones that doesnt use smartphones heavily for communications that is.
being a parent takes a lot of time.
Additional or as replacements?
Additional could be you don’t have enough for a group activity, or because you have interests not shared with your existing friends, or you have lots of spare time that doesn’t match up with current friends.
Replacement was covered ny everyone else. No friends is better than shitty friends, but getting away from shitty friends opens up time to meet new people.
