When you’re kind to people or simply are polite, they help you.
I swear everyone needs to work retail for a bit because that’s so painfully obvious once you’ve done a few weeks of it. I never went of my way to help someone who was being a dick
Or food service.
I missed a flight once due to delayed connections. I went to the help desk, and in front of me, a rich guy was arguing with the company employee. He was rude and frustrated and left angry, having failed to get the upgrade or whatever he’d wanted. I was next in the queue and offered an empathetic smile and rolling of eyes, then politely explained my situation.
The clerk was clearly still pissed at the previous interaction and didn’t crack a smile but simply listened, then slid me over a new ticket for the next flight and winked. I thanked him and scuttled off. I decided to find a place to charge my phone and only then inspected the ticket to confirm how long I had until boarding.
It turns out he’d upgraded me to business class and given me full access to the lounge area where I could charge my phone in comfort and have all the free booze and snacks I want.
And even if they are paid to help you, it makes a big difference to if they put your task on the top or the bottom of their pile of stuff to do.
Or they take advantage of you
Possible but unlikely.
The net result is positive all the same.
So real. I ask the food truck guys “how you doing” rather seriously and they always give me a little more than everyone else. It’s such little effort to care, and try it seems make me stand out from others.
That’s not really a hack so much as the basic behaviour on which all human success is predicated.
Unless you see success as being a billionaire.
Not even. Cooperation is the logically smart thing in long running games. You have to be disturbed and enjoy inflicting pain to do that.
There’s no way for me to judge myself by that yardstick and not want to [redacted] myself in the grawlix.
If you’re doing sets of ten, restart your internal count to zero when you get to five. It’s way easier to get yourself to hit your third rep than your eighth.
I do sets of twenty for most things and I do something similar; count to five, then ‘count’ around my teeth with my tongue, quadrant by quadrant. For the final set I count down from five. Hey, whatever works
Whenever someone is doing, or is about to do, something stupid, simply say out loud what they’re doing, and ask what they want to happen.
Oh wow, I do this to my 4 year old when he’s about to make a mess.
“What is the end result you’re looking for?” That’s my version of this.
“What are you trying to accomplish?”
It’s a great hack, but it takes finesse to keep my mask on when I do it
This is also good when self-directed. Usually framed as mindfulness.
Get into the habit of just observing what you’re doing, and stating it to yourself (out loud or just in your mind). When you’re doing something you don’t want to do (eg, eating too much, procrastinating, losing your temper), looking at it from a disconnected perspective helps you evaluate the costs and reconsider.
I tell people what’s going on for me and in my life.
I just tell myself nothing really matters and we are going to die anyway, this really cheers me up, else I’d be too worried about all the shit going on.
Nobody gets out alive; eat that jar of mayo
Sometimes that’s the only silver lining
There is this Yiddish joke I heard somewhere, it went like this:
Guy is drafted to WW1, and is super scared. His best friend tried to console him:
"Listen, when you get to the draft office, there are two options: unfit or able. Unfit is good! But let’s say you get able.
Then there are two options again: staff or troops. Staff is good! But let’s say you get troops.
Then there are two options: rear or front. Rear is good! But let’s say you get front.
Then there are two options: you make it through or you get hit. Making it through is good! But say you get hit.
Then there are two options: you get wounded and go home, or you get a mortal hit. Wounded and going home is good!
And to be frank, in the other case, you won’t be able to worry anyway…"
I’ve heard of ominous positivity. Like “you will get through this no matter what”
Whenever one of my relatives says something really ignorant to me (which is often), instead of getting into a pointless argument, I just blow it off by imagining them like a yapping little dog behind a fence.
If someone is using rhetorical questions in a discussion, answer them earnestly. If you’re not a prick about it it’s a great way to defuse a heated debate sometimes.
-
When I have a thought I don’t want, i hum a little tune
-
When I feel bad about something happening right now I remind myself that no feeling is forever, everything is temporary, there’s always a tomorrow
-
When I feel bad about something that happened in the past I remind myself that happened to me, that I transcended it, and it doesn’t define me, but allowed me to make better choices in future
-
I swapped alcohol and soda for seltzer
I should really drink less often, the calories aren’t worth it…
Try drinking a lot more. Life will get so utterly insufferable that you’ll end up with the choice between death and sobriety.
I chose sobriety, the thought of touching alcohol gives me anxiety
Have tried drinking too much, I gained two stone and slept like shit? Being hot and not cranky are really important to me, I’m finding
Wow All the same for me! Except #3 I remind myself that it wasn’t me, there’s barely any of the same atoms in my body from then. It’s an experience I hold but it’s not me now at all
Relating to #3. If something really traumatic happened to you that is still affecting you I heard it’s helpful to imagine it like you have this “trauma thing”. It’s not really part of you but something you carry and which kind of has its own will. Really like a small person living in your head. Makes it easier to realize you can decide to listen/react to it or not.
-
I make my bed every day. At least I’m consistent with that. I started doing that when I read about elderly people in the newspaper many years ago.
One person they interviewed was a black lady in her 80s. She said that her secret to long life was consistency. When she was a kid, her mother taught her to make her bed every day. So she made her bed every day, and was consistent with things.
I’m going to live to 100 then, because I consistently never make my bed.
“It wouldn’t be on the menu if less than 99% of people didn’t like it”
It might not literally be true, but it helps me order new foods.
in that vain, if they but the name of the restaurant into the name of a menu, it’s probably worth to try it. Or how merlin mann puts it:
Almost always order the specific food that is mentioned in the name of the restaurant. If you go to “Sally’s Sirloin Shack” and order the sushi sampler, you’re probably not hooked up right.
Same goes for getting over other fears. That huge roller coaster is a feat of engineering and thousands upon thousands of people before you rode it just fine. Going to that strange country is easy; so many people live there just fine.
Yeah I do, “what are the odds it’d fuck up on me” and “they couldn’t afford insurance if it wasn’t safe”
If you don’t want to go outside, put on sunscreen. Might as well go outside now so as not to waste it.
Hahahaha this is really funny. I really like it. (This reads sarcastically but it’s the truth)
I used to do a lot of driving for work and it’s important to manage stress in traffic. Whenever someone would do something that aggravated me, I’d pretend that they did it for some silly reason and it helped me stay calm.
Someone cut you off? They must have have to shit so bad. Someone driving crazy fast? They’re trying to get to their wife before their girlfriend does.
I’ve done this, too. Driving super slow? They’ve got a 3-tier cake in the backseat.
Ha! This is a great idea
Just tell yourself you’re not going to lift heavy/are going to lift light. When you don’t have the motivation (or whatever) to go to the gym, tell yourself this. Like, “I’m not going to work too hard. It’ll be easy.” Works a treat. Then even if you end up doing that (which is unlikely - I always end up getting in the mood hehe) then at least you did something and kept the momentum.
Edit to say: The hardest lift is getting off the couch.
That kind of thinking can work with anything, too. If I’m having trouble getting myself to do something, telling myself I’m just going to do a tiny part of it (put one dish in the dishwasher, etc.) often helps.
Open requests with “would you be willing to.” Works every time.
I used to work at a dry cleaners with a drive through for pickup. You could hand the clothes to the driver through their windows or hang them in the back seat. I Learned if I asked “would you like me to hang these in the back?” The answer was almost always no, because people don’t want you to go to any trouble for them. If i asked “can I hang these in the back?” The answer was almost always yes because people don’t like telling you that you can’t do something.
Would you be willing to… suck my tongue?
Cleaning when I feel bad. Getting rid of physical things is a substitute for getting rid of mental things. Clean outside = clean(er) inside.
