I know this might sound like a strange question, but I’d like to talk about it. I recently joined a lesbian Discord server. After chatting for a while, I shared that I’m married to a man due to cultural and religious reasons. I was married at 16, and it wasn’t really my choice, so I didn’t have any prior experience with men or women. People in the server seemed to expect me to say that I hate my husband or find sex with him disgusting, but I don’t. My primary and only attraction is to women, but I can still enjoy sex with a man on a physical level. My first experience with a woman happened after I was already married, and it was actually facilitated by my husband, who is supportive and helps me connect with women discreetly since I live in a very conservative country. After I shared this, many people in the server reacted negatively and called me a “fake lesbian” or bisexual, which honestly hurt.
Some lesbians only want to be with other lesbians, and they would feel betrayed/lied to by her calling herself a lesbian.
Just like women I date would feel betrayed if i called myself straight, but they found out I had a sexual relationship with a man.
We can make up our own definitions of these things, but other people may not agree with us.
I mean I think I’m a straight, but plenty of people in my life past and present tell me that I am gay. Including bisexual women I have dated.