“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Your silence in the face of injustice is what enables abuse.
Yeah and now people cant handle a reality check, and I’m the asshole for giving one rather than reflecting on what they did wrong
Yes! All that civility and decorum training. I’ll add to yours “Don’t speak ill of the dead.”
Stops people from learning about intergenerational trauma and fascists/terrorists in the family. Sure, my grandad was wildly abusive to his daughters and disgustingly racist about black people in Nova Scotia, Canada (the ones in Jamaica are fine btw). But he’s dead now so “we don’t talk about that.” Totes cool to mention his army medals tho.
Use AI.
“Crime doesn’t pay”
Tell that to the companies which get a few million in fines for stealing tens of millions in wages.
Crime doesn’t pay when you’re not protected by privilege and status.
Idk man I’ve been making pretty good money out of growing weed and am not protected. Even with the occasional bust, it’s still a net plus.
Thank you for your service.
o7
I was gonna be like “fkin Americans commenting again on me mentioning military service” since 75% of males here do it, but yeah, this one was good.
I’m proud. I was a bit hesitant, actually, about ordering a new tent, (since my last one got confiscated, again, 2nd bust in all), but with that comment, I think I’m gonna have to continue serving.
Be good at what you do. No half measures.
Edit the camera was shitter than my older phone, apologies
Edit 2 for law enforcement this picture is >2 y old
Old & busted: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
New hotness: do unto others as they would have you do unto them.
New hotness: do unto others as they would have you do unto them.
Yes. And if you both enjoyed it, be sure to do it again, sometime.
“She’s your mother! Show some respect” <- friends and family after every toxic, manipulative, narcissistic thing that woman did. The eternal free pass.
Samesies.
She had 4 kids. I was the middle one until the last one came about 15 years later than most of us, with a different dad.
Didn’t care much after that. I moved out at 15 to my dads.
You know how it’s a meme and whatnot that parents always want you into the best schools possible? Well I had basically an above 9 GPA on a 4-10 scale in the best school in the country and my mom pulled me out to put me in some rural cousinfucker school because she wanted to move because she met a wealthy man and they couldn’t wait two fucking years while not living together. Despite the drive being like an hour between them.
Literally had a teacher in that school tell me I could be a surgeon, when I was the first in a decade to extract a perch’s swimbladder without puncturing it.
To this day mom won’t even talk about it. And if she does she basically just avoids taking any responsibility, saying “everyone makes their own choices”. Well bitch, I was underage. You were making them for me.
And she’s supposedly a college level graduate social worker, which just adds to the irony.
Peeing on a jellyfish sting. It doesn’t do anything, except maybe humiliate a person who’s already in pain.
Some people will pay for this service…
That’s my kink.
Is this really common advice?
It was a big plot point on Friends
“Don’t care what other people think about you”
Sounds like permission to be an asshole.
I understand what it’s trying to say, but assholes don’t mind borrowing the mantra.
I read a book a while back called “The Courage to be Disliked”. That title could be used for some manosphere nonsense but it was instead an overall positive book about determining your self-worth based on your own honest evaluation of yourself, with the goal of improving things that you otherwise make excuses for. It was helpful to me as someone who’s been a people pleaser with low confidence. Hearing that mantra reminds me of it. I think it’s certainly not universally applicable, but it can be good advice for the right person.
if you care what people think about you, you become a masked compliant normie
(masked as in masking autism/adhd/etc and ICE)
I’m with you on this one, OP. Selfish, litter-dropping, swearing-in-front-of-kids, loud-music-playing motherfuckers don’t care what other people think and they accelerate the erosion of community. Community is how we defend each other from the inevitable shit that is heading our way.
seeking other people’s approval constantly also makes you an asshole
I get what you’re trying to share, which makes a lot of sense, but now reframe it in a different context (just an hypothesis, obviously not an affirmation) : you live surrounded by assholes (say, racists ones), should you mind what they think about you (not being a racist)?
Dress warmly or you will catch a cold.
And
Respect your elders.
“Blood is thicker than water” meaning family is more important than chosen relationships.
And before any smartypants claims it used to mean something else, there is no evidence of that.
That’s something people say cause they think it makes them sound smart. Like people who say the Hunger Games is just Battle Royale, while ignorant of the long history of stories about death tournaments
Irrespective if the meaning has been reversed over the years.
What most people miss about this saying is… IT GOES BOTH WAYS.
If someone mistreats you and uses their blood relationship to you as an excuse, then that is not a member of your family. Family supports and goes through things together. Friends can become family. At this stage of my life, I have cut off my entire blood relations due to their toxic and stupid behavior. My family is the woman I married, my kids, and a few choice friends.
its such dumb phrase too. “blood is thicker than water” well no way, it is?! And why is water representing the chosen relationships here and why is the thickness the implied positive thing here? You know what is thicker than blood? Porridge. No idea what that implies though. If you need someone to explain the meaning of saying to get it, then its not very good saying imo.
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“If you don’t profit from it, someone else will, so you might as well get yours.”
Don’t even get me started on how toxic and self-centered this is…
“Get a job doing something you live doing.” Only if you want to learn to hate something you loved. Doing anything as work builds resentment, you’re better off finding something you can tolerate. Save the stuff you love for hobbies or as a last resort your own business, not working for anyone else.
the secret to “doing what you love” is to have a solid passive income stream established beforehand. that is what all those “i weave baskets and my partner rehabilitates dolphins for a living, watch us shop for a 2-3 million $ house”-shows quietly never expand on.
rich people are rich because somewhere down the line their parents bought/passed down dividend paying stock (or they got lucky themselves/soldout a startup for some etc.). once you bring in 6 figs in passive income you can pretty nuch do whatever the fuck you want as long as you don’t try to keep appearances with the super-rich.
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Get a job doing something you like doing.
I liked being in a van all day a lot more than I liked being inside all day.
Even when the weather was terrible, it’s better than rebreathing the same stale air for eight hours.
Better advice would be to find a job that is enjoyable.
My work is still work, but as jobs go it’s fucking awesome … it’s not what I love, but there’s lots of variety, I have to use my head and body, and it’s legit so I don’t have to worry about being arrested or catching an STD or whatever.
“Slam your weenie in a kitchen drawer for fun.”
Don’t know how many times I’ve heard it through the years. It’s actually not very fun at all, though.
I have to think whoever downvoted this must have tried it out …
For me I think growing up constantly told “you’re so smart, you’ll figure it all out” was more detrimental than helpful. It led me to believe I’d cruise through life pretty easily. I’m happy with where life’s taken me and the point I’m at now but I could’ve gotten there a lot faster if I would’ve applied myself more. Just because a kid is into computers doesn’t mean they’ll be some sort of genius.
I can’t stand this one. Like, yes, I can figure out a lot of things for myself. But if I’m asking someone for help, it’s because my own resourcefulness has reached its limit and in this situation, I need assistance from others. That is, if I could figure out a solution on my own, I would’ve done so. The whole point of bringing up the issue was an attempt to get help for it.
“If you didn’t hear back about the application, reach out to the company/recruiter/interviewer.” - they’re either not into you or swamped trying to get things lined up to move forward or both. Either way they don’t want to hear from you because you’re not getting it or they are working on it. Just pretend you didn’t get it and move on.
“Personalize your cover letter for each job application.” - no one has read that shit in years–and that was before AI slop started doing them all for people—and good companies don’t ask for them anymore as it’s cruel to waste applicants time on them.
“Ask for what you’re worth in the interview/during a promotion/counteroffer!” - this one comes with an asterix as it’s not always terrible advice, but well-run orgs gave a budget for your role, know what the job generally pays for the skills it requires and can’t go much outside of it at all or they’ll create pay equity issues which is against the law in most states if not federally, depending. I say all that and close by saying most companies aren’t well run, so they’re just trying to save money, but some are actually working withing a good system so don’t take it personally if they don’t or can’t offer you more.
If you worry about being a narcissist, you are not one. A narcissist would never introspect like that or care.
False. If you suspect narcissistic personality disorder, it is completely valid and you probably need to research the vulnerable side of it or the covert side of it.
Grandiose is the one with an inflated-ego, the famous one, and the DSM-5 describes mostly the grandiose narcissist. Vulnerable is the one where you feel like a misunderstood outcast or a victim of others, maybe even like a “stupid piece of shit” (quoting Bojack Horseman) that possibly deserved your hardships in life.
People with NPD or NPD traits can oscillate between different levels of these two presentations throughout their lives.
Overt is when you show that in ‘public’ (either grandiose or vulnerable). Covert is when nobody knows or can confirm you feel this way (either grandiose or vulnerable), it’s more of a secret.
In recent years, I’ve met people with undiagnosed NPD later confirmed and a person with diagnosed BPD with not enough narcissistic traits for a diagnosis, but some important ones there. That’s only to exemplify that it is not uncommon. I’m glad they were curious and open.
It’s crazy to think that a whole diagnostic category and clinical spectrum is in the shadows because of that myth: “you wouldn’t be thinking about it”. Of course you would, person receiving that “advice”, you are not an idiot and I’m sure you are noticing something about yourself. You deserve to know if it’s NPD or some other thing, and to get help and to feel better about your life.
