Every negative emotion I have, I’m told to go to therapy.
Negative emotions are human!
Why have we, as a society, grown to fear them?
Why have we, as a society, grown to fear them? - Yes, people have been conditioned to ask are you OK but not actually do anything. We have also as a society become more fluffy and less accepting of anger and frustration which are very valid feelings. But you are expected to just to just go be quiet elsewhere. If you make a scene you are called dramatic/karen etc.
I think its great we can talk about feelings, and let them out, we as a society have absolutely gotten better at being able to express…(if politely) but in terms of help and support when fixing that’s a bit lacking.
The therapy thing seems a very USA/entitled thing, just pay to have it fixed. Most don’t have that luxury. But the bottom line is you may need to work on how you handle things. I know its easily said but anger and resentment can be used to fuel you to do good. Just remember there are people who care, even if its just another internet buddy.
the issue in the USA is the folks who horde all the mental health resources, need them the least.
they often use access to therapists as a social status symbol more than anything else, because in order to have regular access to therapy you have to be a higher income person.
Can I have some of whatever drug caused you to believe something so stupid?
no, but i can block you for replying to my comments with insults instead of any legitimate commentary.
Good riddance, coward
Negative emotions are human but some people need help to learn to handle them in healthy ways.
My sister went to therapy all her life. I never did.
I may be wrong, but here’s my theory: she and I went through the same hardship, but I allowed time to let the memory fade away in my brain (it wasn’t PTSD-inducing hardship, mind you) but her therapist never let her forget. And now decades later, she’s all kinds of messed up and I’m not.
My partner is licensed to deliver some kinds of talking therapy for our public health system. They often talk with some concern about patients who have interactions with private therapists who keep patients on, continuously, for years, and points out that there is no evidence base for that kind of delivery. Evidence-based therapies are typically several weeks, though it does vary.
Life-long therapy is something I’m aware of from American TV shows, and those conversations.
Even siblings in the same household can have wildly different experiences with their parents.
Correlation and causation shouldn’t be confused for the other.
It’s true, but I see more people going to therapy needing more therapy than people who just let time be the proverbial healer.
Again, I’m not talking about trauma so grave you actually need therapy to get you out of your funk, like wartime memories or terrible accidents.
Not everything is a one size fits all solution. Some people do great with therapy and some need a different approach. Your comments are bordering on dangerous advice by asserting that therapy causes more therapy.
You don’t know what your sister’s experience truly was without being her.
Like I said, that’s just my theory. I can only go by what I know and what I’ve witnessed.
And a theory without evidence, not just anecdotal evidence, can be harmful.
You don’t have to go to therapy. No one is forcing you. You also don’t need to shit on a viable path towards healing for many people.
no providing medical advice to mental illness without an expertise in, is dangerous advice, most platforms will ban you for that asap. just because you had a “faux-experience with trauma” your siblings had verifiable trauma that need psychiatric help.
wildly different experiences with their parents
Nitpicking a bit here, but you assume what my sister and I lived through was our parents’ fault.
It was not: we both went to Catholic school. Let’s leave it at that.
Just an example. You revealing that it was at Catholic school bolsters my point - your sister probably had a wildly different experience than you did.
your sister probably had a wildly different experience than you did.
How could you possibly know that? Do you know my sister?
We talked about it you know. Rather extensively. We met the same people at around the same time and went through the same kinds of shenanigans.
You think you know more than you do.
You’re taking my examples as if I’m telling you I know for sure what you both went through.
I’m trying to get you to have a more open mind about different people having different experiences even if the circumstances are really similar.
Plus boy brains and girl brains often process things very differently.
Here’s my theory: therapist get paid to see clients and keeping old clients is easier than getting new ones.
You must be an American
Yup, that’s my context. Are therapists on public retainer in your country?
The last one I saw was.
Cool. That’s sort of better… but it might not be, really.
For instance, you’d think commisions are bad because they push salespeople to sell you things you don’t need. So you’d think NOT having commissions are GOOD; but that is marketing, because every salesperson has metrics and goals, and if they don’t meet them, there are consequences.
Source: Worked at Best Buy, where customers were so happy that we didn’t take commission but didn’t know that our supervisors would chew us out if we didn’t sell a membership or get a credit card application.
So it depends on how the system is implemented.
Conflating therapists with sales people is a real good indicator that you need therapy.
Not knowing whether public healthcare has good outcomes is one hell of an ignorant take.
Therapists and sales people both exist in a capitalist systems and so are under similar pressures. (Edit: Unless, of course, they aren’t! Assuming US context here, I can’t speak to every therapists in every country in the world).
Here is one of MANY complaints from therapists about working in clinics where they are tracked on how many hours they are seeing clients / no shows / etc.
https://www.reddit.com/r/therapists/comments/10nfc88/metrics/
Therapy isn’t “just for negative emotions” in the same way the doctor isn’t just for dealing with the occasional common cold.
If you’re being told to see the doctor all the time, and you’re being dismissive of it without a reason past knee jerking, maybe hear them out? You’re positing this openly online so I think you’re already considering this.
Sounds like something you should talk over with a therapist.
I’m pretty sure the sarcasm in your post was totally lost on most people who modded you up. And just for that, have a mod point 🙂
I’m pretty sure the sarcasm in your comment was totally list on most people who voted you down. This includes me.
deleted by creator
If you get 1,000 Mod Points you become a Moderator
The Mods
Probably do to the outsized amount of harm those emotions can create when we don’t know how to deal with them effectively.
Therapists are a major source of learning why, when, how these emotions come up and give you techniques to deal with them.
Therapy is great because we’re a social species who live in a world in which we are growing increasingly disconnected from both each other and the world we evolved to live in. It causes our minds a lot of stress and talking to other people about it is a great way to alleviate it.
Though I do agree with you that negative emotions are human and that we shouldn’t necessarily fear them. Sometimes you’ll be in situations where you’ll be uncomfortable and upset, and you’re going to experience things you don’t like or you’ll have to do things you don’t want to do. That’s part of the human experience and dealing with it is an important life skill to learn, especially for children.
The problem is rich people don’t handle their emotions, they outsource that labor to therapists.
And they now expect everyone else in society to follow that model and it has trickled down.
The issue with mental health resources is must are being taken up by trivial nonsense of rich folks, where as people who legit mental health problems can’t get the resources they need because they are inaccessible to them. Very similar to physical health care. Hence why the advice is ‘oh you are feeling mad about something, go to therapy’, because that’s what a rich person does. Just like they have the luxury of going to a doctor over ever trivia healthcare concern.
There is a special suite for high roller patients at the one of the hospitals near me now. Basically, if you can pay them 100,000 in cash, you can get your own army of exclusive doctors for every little ache and pain, meanwhile the average person has to wait months or years for basic medical checkups and appointments…
Imagine actually believing that therapy is only for rich people.
I’ve known plenty of therapists, and every one of them had a sliding scale based on income if insurance didn’t pay.
cool. i have known many therapists and they all hate poor people because their insurance pays them shit, so they day dream about building up their practice full of exclusively rich clients who can pay out of pocket so they can make 300-500hr in private practice.
they only ever see treating the poor as a ladder to climb up out of.
People don’t see your emotions. They see your behavior. They hear what you say, observe your actions and reactions, and from that they decide if they want to suggest therapy or not.
I don’t know if you need therapy or not because I’ve never met you in person. But if a large number of people you encounter suggest you seek out a therapist, it’s not because of anything you felt. It’s because of something you said or did. And you may be wise to reflect on those moments when they happen.
I acted out on feelings I didn’t recognize myself when I was at my worst, people told me to go to therapy. Then I finally did, and after three years I was more in touch with my emotions and more in balance with my inner world. I’m still a wreck, just a more functional wreck who no longer shouts out the shit that’s churning inside.
The same reason folks pay someone else to do their yard work, clean their car, or doordash every meal.
They don’t want to do the emotional work, so they pay someone else to do it for them.
And the folks who pay other people to do this stuff, can’t fathom doing any of it themselves.
Therapy generally takes work or it isn’t effective.
Humans literally cannot feel another’s feelings, this is why empathy is important. No one can process your emotions or trauma. That’s your work.
none of what you said has anything to do with therapy.
empathy existed long before therapy dude. therapy has barely been around 100 years, and was not popular until the 70s.
but keep being ignorant and banging your drum i guess? and conflating stuff that has nothing to do with each other.
Have you been to therapy? It simply doesn’t work if the patient isn’t doing the emotional work. You can’t outsource it.
It kind of depends if your negative emotions are grounded in reality or if they’re grounded in past trauma/cognitive distortions.
The very strong tendency of therapy is to assume the latter despite evidence of the former.
Society has completely lost its ability to deal with any personal/spiritual/psychological/social issues outside the context of professional talk therapy.
Let me introduce you to toxic positivity:
That’s only one form of therapy there’s a whole field and multiple disciplines within it, including the stuff you just talked about
I didn’t mention a therapy.
if they’re grounded in past trauma/cognitive distortions.
You did.
“Past trauma” has been around since Freud. “Cognitive distortion” is a term bandied about by CBT, but the concept has existed since people thought about thinking.
The basics of psychotherapy are extremely stable. Every time I learn about a “new” theory, it is essentially an old theory, repackaged.
It depends on how you manage those negative emotions. Not that you are having negative emotions.
Tbh, there’s been people who have judged me just for being frustrated or mad about something, even if I didn’t act on it. Turns out a lot of people just suck.
Sure, people don’t like to be around negativity. But have they repeatedly told you that you should seek therapy like OP?
Mmm, did they read your mind, or did your expression of your frustration warrant a response. (Doesn’t mean it’s fair. just adding maybe some nuance, but often people do suck)
Society has been conditioned to treat symptoms instead of root causes. You complain about real problems, and everyone acts like you are the problem.
Then, unless you luck out and find a genuinely good therapist, the therapist just helps you cope. The therapist does not fix anything, does not heal. Instead, they give you drugs and techniques for pretending problems aren’t problems, all while the problems get worse and worse.
That has been my experience so far. I’m trying a fifth therapist in a week, but I’m not optimistic. I’m in the United States, everything is a scam.
Are you using one of the online therapy things? My therapist gets tons of offers to join those, but refuses because most of those services are pretty exploitative.
I tried three online therapists from three different services, all with poor results. Recently I went to the local community health center and had a session and a half with one therapist before requesting to be rescheduled with another.
I think part of the problem is that higher education in the US is fucked. Like everything else, it’s a scam, and it also serves other scams. For-profit healthcare is for profit, not for healthcare. So the therapists follow a flawed script and seemingly have nothing to offer but superficial coping mechanisms and prescriptions that treat some symptoms while causing other side effects and not actually fixing any underlying issues.
oh yea and some"therapist" arnt properly certified or accredited in some states. in our state you likely need a license and actual certification to even practice, physical or mental.
Sometimes you just have to find out what tools you need, them find and sort how to use them by looking for yourself. It’s not a meal deal at McDonald’s.
Because humanity didn’t evolve to handle the daily stresses we face today, and the average human isn’t very bright.
The Sopranos, when mother soprano finds out Tony has been seeing a therapist
“Therapy?, don’t you know that’s a racket for the jews?”Are you American? As a European, it seems that Americans are obsessed with therapy, whereas I don’t think it’s at all common over here.
you seem to think therapy in america is some kind ofad, or a phase. more and more people are coming foward for therapy, plus recently women/girls are being properly recognized for adhd/autism properly now. when before they could mask it easily, and sometimes they were seen as lazy, still living at home types.
It’s a rich American thing.
poor Americans don’t have access to therapy. it’s a luxury good, like travel.
and the people who tell you you have to have travel 3x a year are the same ones who think you must have a therapist.
That’s bullshit. Most places have free or extremely low cost therapy available. Most. Not all.
Fuck, if you’re really broke you can pirate a CBT or DBT workbook. Less effective than the real thing, but if you’re committed to change it can really help
You don’t even have to do that, there are free CBT, DBT, and shadow work exercises that are printable.
Good to know. You can also probably find books describing techniques at the library.
I’m not saying self administered CBT alone fixed me, but it took me from unstable to manageable, and from there practice and experience got me pretty far. Also lsd helped.
So yeah, if you’re too poor for therapy (and medicaid doesn’t cover it in your state) self administer CBT/DBT then when you’re more stable if you don’t have a family history of psychosis pop a few tabs of acid
Every therapist I’ve known has an income based sliding scale if insurance doesn’t cover it.
it’s a luxury good, like travel.
It shouldn’t be.
A lot of major health insurance providers have free “self-help” style mental healthcare options, which are better than nothing even if they’re kind of lame, but even one of the worst insurers I’ve been on (Kaiser Permanente) had decent mental health benefits. They like money and they know that subsidizing therapy is way cheaper than paying claims for a lot of the issues poor mental health can lead to
That is a bad thing. While therapy can’t solve every problem, it can solve a lot. That American’s can admit to using therapy means we can get the help we need when needed. I don’t know how, but Europe needs to fix their culture and get people the help they need, not be smug in the “we don’t need it” attitude which harms those who need help.
You’re reading a lot into that comment, it’s indeed not that common over here, but it isn’t non-existing either. If people need/want therapy, it’s available.
Edit: It’s also not that common to talk about therapy over here. Not that it’s taboo, but we don’t like to over share our medical history.
Perhaps then you’re also reading into Americans obsession with therapy as being a [fad? Perhaps?], and less the reality that many Americans desperately need therapy and is actually a real, tangeable problem
Americans actually need affordable housing, medical care, education, vacation time, workers’ rights, etc. Therapy is how oligarchs want you to “solve” your problems.
We can have all these things. Many therapists connect their patients to resources or even are volunteers in their community. I don’t see how these are exclusive
But also therapists are doctors, “people need housing not medical care” basically. We need all of them, holistically, every single resource we need to survive includes medical specialists. Would you say don’t go to an oncologist because the oligarchs want to die of cancer? What even is this logic
Also the oligarchs need therapy too for their psychopathy but their power systems wouldn’t allow someone non syncophantic in their circles so 🤷♀️ guess we all suffer cause of that too
everyone could benefit from a personal trainer too!
should everyone have personal trainers?
should everyone have personal trainers?
Yes, that would be an awesome thing for universal healthcare to have. It would help people not get sick or injured.
Not the gotcha you think it is.
Actually yeah, if everyone could check in with a personal trainer every month or two for free, that would probably return many times the value of its cost through how much healthier it would make the population in the long term
cool, do you live in a world where money grows on trees too?
No, money grows in the pocketbooks of the rich because we let them avoid paying their fair share.
right, just guillotine the billionaires and then everyone can have a personal therapist and trainer.
i see you clearly live in the real world.
That’s not anywhere close to what I said or even could have been reasonably implying. It was already pretty obvious that you were trolling, but this is just ridiculous.
Congratulations though, with that level of jumping to conclusions you definitely do not need a personal trainer.
What colour is the sky where you are?
that would probably return many times the value of its cost
This seems like a testable hypothesis.
Personally, I’m skeptical that it would offer significant benefits over much cheaper interventions.
