I know this might sound like a strange question, but I’d like to talk about it. I recently joined a lesbian Discord server. After chatting for a while, I shared that I’m married to a man due to cultural and religious reasons. I was married at 16, and it wasn’t really my choice, so I didn’t have any prior experience with men or women. People in the server seemed to expect me to say that I hate my husband or find sex with him disgusting, but I don’t. My primary and only attraction is to women, but I can still enjoy sex with a man on a physical level. My first experience with a woman happened after I was already married, and it was actually facilitated by my husband, who is supportive and helps me connect with women discreetly since I live in a very conservative country. After I shared this, many people in the server reacted negatively and called me a “fake lesbian” or bisexual, which honestly hurt.
Seems more like aromantic to me than asexual. OP enjoys the sex, just not the intimacy.
Labels are dumb, but if I had to call it something, it’d be homoromantic-bisexual or something like that.
I don’t see what’s wrong in describing oneself as a lesbian in that instance, given that all labels are just labels of convenience and it describes OP’s ideal preference well enough. Even if some gold stars may disagree.
Some lesbians only want to be with other lesbians, and they would feel betrayed/lied to by her calling herself a lesbian.
Just like women I date would feel betrayed if i called myself straight, but they found out I had a sexual relationship with a man.
We can make up our own definitions of these things, but other people may not agree with us.
I mean I think I’m a straight, but plenty of people in my life past and present tell me that I am gay. Including bisexual women I have dated.