Blobby and Friends
You can’t play football, it’s too dangerous!
You can’t take a martial arts class, it’s dangerous and too expensive!
You can’t get a drum kit, it’s too loud and too expensive!
You can’t have guitar lessons, it’s too expensive and too loud!
Never leave this neighborhood it’s too dangerous!
15 years later
Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!
You can’t play football, it’s too dangerous!
Okay, but totally unironically, though. Full contact sports are terrible for kids.
Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!
I might suggest that the biggest reason I sit inside all day is that it’s fucking 95° with 60% humidity. But also, screens are hypnotizing, especially for little kids. My son would absolutely lock in on Ms Racheal or Bluey for hours a day if I let him. But he also loves to kick his soccer ball and dunk his basketball in his little stand when the TV isn’t on. And I’m fine with that, because he’s not plowing face first into a kid twice his size. Or trying to back kick one of his friends across the room.
Also, I’ve never needed to buy my son a drum kit because everything is a drum kit to that kid. We can talk about a kit when he gets to middle school and shows he’s got the desire to practice, maintain the equipment, and not break anything when he loses his temper.
While full contact sports (and the associated CTE) are dangerous, there’s alternative combat sports that avoid it, like wrestling, judo, and jiu jitsu. Mainly grappling.
That being said, competitive olympic wresting is pretty toxic regarding weight and diet. Lots of extreme dieting to get in the wanted weight range for tournaments, whivh is terrible for teenagers. Plus, jiu jitsu is the dude-bro sport right now, so might want to avoid that too.
Mainly what I’m getting at is that judo is good if you think your kid might be into it
there’s alternative combat sports that avoid it, like wrestling, judo, and jiu jitsu.
There’s definitely alternatives to full-contact football that are lower-impact, especially wrt to the head. But I’ve got a friend who runs a jiu-jitsu gym and he’s constantly got wraps on something. Fingers are really common. Knees are bad, too. He nearly dislocated his shoulder after a bad throw. One of his friends managed to brain herself in the middle of a throw when she bounced her head off her partner’s hipbone and had to be treated for a concussion.
My sister and I did taekwondo as kids. Other than the occasional sparing (lots of pads, relatively light contact), it was all about flexibility and learning the forms. You still get injured overextending or balancing wrong. But it’s comparatively far better for kids than actual combat sports.
Like, if you’re old enough to make your own decisions, more power to you. But if you’re coming off Ninja Turtles as a 12-year-old, hell no. The combat sports are a recipe for getting wrecked.
judo is good if you think your kid might be into it
Of the three, it’s probably the best. I would still stick my kid in a karate-themed exercise class, if it came to that.
These can also get hella expensive, depending on who you’re training with and where. I can definitely understand a parent not being able to afford private lessons, much less the time to commute with practice. And the kid - not understanding the economic reality - deciding their parent is just being mean, or overprotective, or small-minded.
Oh no! My child might get hurt playing a game! Little Jhonnythan is far too valuable to be put in harms way no matter how much he’ll develop emotionally and intelligently by playing <Insert Sport Here>. I’m an amazing parent!
My child might get hurt playing a game!
It’s not a game when the goal is to injure the other players. It’s functionally a combat sport.
I’ve played sports my whole life. Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Your ignorance is showing. I’ve accidentally hurt others, and others have unintentionally hurt me. Shit happens. I’ve torn a muscle in my shoulder from a bad hit in hockey. I’ve also severely sprained my ankle walking to my driveway. If you want to bubble wrap your kids and protect them from all the harm in the world, enjoy raising a completely incompetent leech on society that is dependant on you their whole life.
I’ve played sports my whole life. Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Boxing. MMA. In both of those,
concussingknocking out your opponent is a winThose aren’t team sports.
American reading comprehension is really at a historic low isn’t it.
At no point in your previous comment did you say the word “team”.
You really put your foot in your mouth with that one.
Never has there ever been a sport where the goal is to “injure the other player”.
Not sure if genuinely ignorant or just contrarian maxxing
I could ask the same thing.
Which team sport is designed around intentionally injuring the other players?
Football specifically is bad. Especially with helmets.
How is that more specifically bad vs any other sport with contact built into it, like baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer, lacrosse, rugby… Even more individual sports have incidents like curling and tennis.
Maybe your soft child might be good at golf? But they could strain leg muscles, pull a hip, should injuries are common among golfers…
Boomers and Gen X were heavily conditioned by the wave of crimes and news of serial killers. So it’s understandable why they have been overprotective.
seriously my mom would tell us about all the rapes happening on the daily. wasn’t till I could comprehend basic statistics did I realize how many screws she had loose.
“Children in Africa are dying, doesn’t this make you more grateful?” -No…
“Children in Africa are dying” is largely the product of the scam charities that would try to profit off endless advertisement reels of impoverishment abroad. Once Americans got so jaded, racist, and broke that sad African children wasn’t a cash cow anymore, we moved on to bombarding you with ads for dick pills, inflatable mattresses, and sports gambling.
“Children are starving in Africa, you should be grateful”
I’m cool with helping feed them. You wanna run this bowl of Mac and Cheese to Africa, or am I getting my bike?
Just angry at the world
This is a great article on this topic
https://issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/when-the-missing-reasons-arent-missing/
Happy cake day.
The article just before that about the “missing missing reasons” hits just as hard. That whole site makes for an informative read for someone frustrated with dealing with their parents as an adult.
That makes me so sad
That’s my monster boomer mother. Also include “while you live under MY roof… blah-blah”. I spent my early childhood not feeling like I had a home. I was just visiting her house. Nothing was mine. She of course forgets my father paid for that house and she got it for free in the divorce.
She’d also say to me “the world doesn’t owe you a living.” She only had a high school degree and a year as a “kelly girl”. That turned into a secretary job at a community college, which later turned into a better secretary job at a huge aerospace company. After a few years that paid more than enough to live and she got stocks and a pension out of the deal. Her aunt died and left her a fortune (none for me). She’s one of those boomers that did the bare minimum in life, sits on a pile of free cash, free house, retired early, and complains about people on welfare or “damn government handouts”. Meanwhile she has never contributed anything of value to society, never volunteers, never donates to charity. She’s a fucking leach.
Oh yeah. When parents got divorced, she got primary custody of me. She was so insane, I ended up moving to my fathers house when I was 10. My father continued to pay her child support to stop her from filing a complaint with the court about me living with him (He was chill and figured it was the easy way to deal with her). So add that to the list of free money to her.
Anyway, now she’s old, fat, stupid, with no friends and will die alone. I actually expect her to die in the house alone and they’ll find her weeks later after her cat has chewed out chunks of her. LOL. Good kitty.
This makes me feel bad for the cat.
That’s cheery.
Let’s hope you raise your own children the way you wish you had been raised.
That’s what I’m doing. The pain of my childhood will not be passed on as more generational trauma.
I had a similar childhood, and had minimal contact in the last 10-15 years of her life. My mom ended up homeless and would have died on the street if her brother wasn’t willing to take her in. It was my fault she ended up homeless, because I moved out and stopped being the parent in the relationship.
I never want my child to feel about me the way my mother made me feel about her, and I’m doing the hard work to make myself a better person and parent than what I was taught to be.
It sucks because it’s like sitting there holding up a leaning pile of bricks, and you know as soon as you move it’s falling, but you only have 1 life and you deserve to spend it doing more than fixing other people’s mistakes.
Sometimes I think I’m not so smart
But then there’s people thinking people like kingporkchop can have children even if they want to
And I feel less stupid
This hits close to home. I don’t talk to my mother anymore.
I have never felt more connected to a comic, ever.
You had a pet blobfish too?
Both of my grandfathers were horrible, and then largely absent. When each of them died, I managed a shrug and a mild bit of interest in learning more about them from their obituaries than they has ever shared with me over my entire life. My parents both show signs of generational trauma. They did their best with me, and I give them each passing grades, somewhat elevated by the fact that they got divorced when I don’t remember, rather than sticking it out in a malfunctional marriage and no doubt allowing me to get caught in the crossfire. Even for all of that, I recognize in myself some of the echoes of what was done to them. I’ve done therapy and I’ve resolved to make sure my kid knows that, even if we sometimes argue or have to tell her things she doesn’t want to hear, that no matter what we’ll always love and cherish her.
Try to live your life in such a way that, when you die, the people you leave behind can manage more of an emotional reaction than a shrug and moving on with their day.
As a kid: “Why is my mom so stressed and frustrated so often? Why can’t she just be carefree and fun, like me? Why won’t she just let me do whatever I want all the time?”
As an adult, with kids: “Oh, wait. Some of this stuff was pretty reasonable and being a good parent is hard work.”
Cool story. Quick question: you ever honestly and angrily called your kid a little cunt to their face? Ever hit them so hard with something that the item in question broke? Or my personal favourite anecdote, woken your kid up by hurling a kilogram of solid frozen lamb chops at their head screaming about freezer burn?
Don’t excuse shitty parents who take their unhappiness out on helpless children.
Ever.
Ever hit them so hard with something that the item in question broke?
Tbf, that bit is somewhat dependent on context. I agree, >90% of parents that do that are just shit. My personal experience was different - my dad though ahead and had a specific setup for paddling. Multiple warnings ahead of time, and used narrow-handled wooden spoons, so they’d break so he couldn’t put too much force into it
yeah still fucked up tho.
I mean, having specific implements you choose to hit your kid with. Consider that. Also consider the fact I literally wrote a paragraph detailing clear abuse…and your brain tried to excuse it. I’m not calling you an apologist, just…think about how your brain did that.
And yes, I’m aware of “how it was back then” I’m genX. It’s still messed up.
Way to ignore half of my comment
I’m not calling you an apologist, just…think about how your brain did that.
Go fuck yourself. The fact you’re willing to type that proves you’re an asshole, and I’m not even surprised you turned out to be like that
Don’t excuse shitty parents
I don’t think I ever suggested beating a child
No but shut up and be grateful is clearly the point of your comment
Logic and compassion come sporadically to you don’t they
shut up and be grateful is clearly the point
That wasn’t my point at all
Please do elaborate. What the hell then was your point
You tried to equate parental frustration and childish obliviousness with familial abuse. As you should be aware, my comments were to highlight the difference between “gee, mums get frustrated sometimes” and what the actual topic of this thread is.
And you don’t have to beat a kid to be a shitty parent, jsyk.
You tried to equate parental frustration and childish obliviousness with familial abuse.
Nope. That was all you
And you don’t have to beat a kid to be a shitty parent, jsyk.
This thread is so flush with anti-natalists, I don’t think it’s part of the equation.
So why make a comment about “gee i never got why mum was stressed as a kid then i grew up and realised adult things” on a post explicitly about abusive parents?
You do see what that looks like, right?
a post explicitly about abusive parents?
It’s a post about grown ups no longer talking to their parents.
because…?
Smart strawkid: ok, why are you taking your frustrations out on me then and wondering why i avoid you later in life.
why are you taking your frustrations out on me
Turnabout is fair play. Strawkids has been straw-taking their straw-stration out on me their entire life.
You do realise you’re a grown arse adult and they’re not, right?
You’re the one who’s supposed to be teaching them emotional regulation
They’re made out of straw.
Mate, you stepped in a beehive. Deciding to make a jester’s dance of it is not a wise decision
If you conflate “I gave birth to you and fed you, you owe me” with “parenting is hard work”, please drop your kids off at the nearest shelter as you are unfit to be a parent.
“you owe me for giving birth to you and putting a roof over your head” is pretty far out, if you’re raised like this I can assure you it would suit these parents a lot better to skip having kids.
You owe it to the kid you decided to have to care for it as best you can, Not the other way around.
We always try to frame it as “No we can’t do all the fun stuff all the time because things cost money” instead of “I want to be riding a dirt bike on the Pacific coast, you little shit.”
“you owe me for giving birth to you and putting a roof over your head” is pretty far out
Lots of parents throw this out half-joking. “I was in labor for eight hours, the least you can do is spend ten minutes cleaning your room” or some variation of it is a thing my mom would toss off on occasion.
You owe it to the kid you decided to have to care for it as best you can
We owe it to one another to be good in turn. The value of family is in building up the cycle of mutual aid. It’s never a one-way street.
Its a shit joke and you shouldn’t be making it
Edit: here’s a thing people from functional families do not understand:
We did not have your experience. We are not whining because of misconceptions. Our childhoods were monstrous. Our family units objectively broken. There is no familial bond, only trauma ones.
You cannot understand because you have no frame of reference to this level of dysfunction. And so you try and apply your framework instead, and skew the corners to fit.
Don’t do that.
I have known so many parents who believe that seriously, and want their kids to understand the sacrifice they are making for those brats.
There’s a big gulf between conveying the challenges of being a parent to your kid and just nagging them over bullshit.
Part of transitioning to adulthood is recognizing the struggles your parents experience, both in raising you and in taking care of themselves independent of their own parents. Then you strive for independence - at least in part - because you recognize you can’t lean on your parents forever. And, finally, you might even decide to take care of children, because you want to pay the debt of childcare forward into the next generation.
You’re approaching this with the attitude of a parent who’s already got their future grandkids named.
>I throw someone who doesn’t know how to swim into a pool.
>I save this person’s life, getting him safely out of the pool.
>This person must now risk his life and save me in return.Are you suggesting swim lessons are bad, because you don’t start out knowing how to swim?
20 mins in the penalty box for fallacious arguments
FIFA tier reffing
Yeah how dare blind kids not learn braille and read a book jeez they’re fed aren’t they
Joking or not the sentiment is still damaging to a child’s mental state. You don’t get to pick what sentiments a child will internalize. The rhetoric is conditioning them to feel like love and respect are transactional things. It’s teaching them that guilt tripping people to coerce their behavior is okay by treating it as casual. It’s toxic. “It’s just a joke” is a bullshit excuse. Always has been.
The mutual aid argument doesn’t work when one party is dependent upon the other for their upbringing and care. Mutual aid requires both parties to be functionally independent and a child does not have that level of autonomy being dependent upon the parent to raise them so they can become independent. A child is not responsible for the well being of the parent. It is the responsibility of the parents to put their problems aside for the well being of their children.
We owe it to one another to be good in turn. The value of family is in building up the cycle of mutual aid. It’s never a one-way street.
Why? You (not YOU but a parent) decided to procreate. Everything that follows is yours alone to deal with. I (the kid) never was asked to exist. Why do I owe you anything at all?
Because that’s how society works, mutualism.
Because that’s how society works, mutualism.
I’m not stupid, but…who asked your offspring if it wants to be part of that? You forced it into existence.
Asking consent of the future is ridiculous, and being mad about existing means you need therapy.
Still wouldn’t change that YOU alone forced life into existence. If it needs therapy, you’re at the absolute lowest root of a causal-chain.
Noone questions if you’re fully alone responsible for a pet you got. Even if it still bites you and won’t show “thankfulness”. But kids is just a thing that happens and it’s nobody’s fault or responsibility?
Why do you think it owes you gratitude? For the gift of life?
We’re all born into our various countries each of which places demands on us. And often that’s under threat of imprisonment or even death and with little of value in return. Yet people are patriotic and support that system. Even if some of us might say it is better that countries couldn’t do that, the fact that it’s widely supported means that there’s some basis for it that humanity recognizes.
Then compare that to a parent who selflessly loves and gives and gives. It’s very reasonable to say that parents are owed something.
Then compare that to a parent who selflessly loves and gives and gives. It’s very reasonable to say that parents are owed something.
That’s the thing. They’re not. You surely CAN be grateful and thankful and whatnot. Of course. But you don’t owe it to them. Were you asked if you want to exist? Were you asked if you want to be part of this society? The rest you said isn’t wrong. I just fail to see the direct correlation between “i force you into this world without asking consent” and “because of that you owe me something”. If I take you hostage and treat you super-well and lovely, do you owe me something? Just because a baby can’t consent before being born, doesn’t automatically mean it has to be thankful for it. Doesn’t mean you mustn’t or couldn’t or even shouldn’t. But you don’t HAVE TO.
Why?
Because it’s the foundation of a functioning civilization.
Everything that follows is yours alone to deal with.
That’s demonstrably not true.
Because it’s the foundation of a functioning civilization.
Why should one’s offspring care for that? It never ask to be in that civilization?
That’s demonstrably not true.
If this makes you feel better? Doesn’t change the fact that procreating is a one-way-decision-street. Yours.
Why should one’s offspring care for that?
Because they’re human
Doesn’t change the fact that procreating is a one-way-decision-street
Any expectant mother who miscarries can tell you why you’re wrong.
Because they’re human
Yes. That gives them the conscious option, not the obligation.
Any expectant mother who miscarries can tell you why you’re wrong.
I spoke with many so far and wouldn’t know what that would have to do with anything? Despite the tragedy of misscariage, it was still a one-way-decision to procreate. The result of it doesn’t touch the point. The resulting kid had no choice to exist or not to exist. It was first thrown into existence and then out of it again. It didn’t ask for either.
I don’t say kids shouldn’t be thankful or be in owing. They’re just no obliged to do so. You can’t set a kid in this world, expecting it to pay you back somehow. It might, it probably will. It might also hate you for it. But it doesn’t HAVE to do any of it.
I pray to whatever god wants to listen that you don’t have kids. You are a legitimately awful parent.
I guarantee you my parents said all of this in all seriousness. It took decades of therapy to undo the damage of my childhood and I still have issues to work through.
I’m sure there are some that joke around and that’s fine. I’m not trying to claim your mother was abusive when she said it. But I wouldn’t use that as an excuse to minimize a lot of others pain.
Exactly. Our frustrations are ours. Not theirs.
Like, yea, feeling frustrated and stressed is valid but it is in how we express it to those around us, especially to children, that can negatively affect them.
Our feelings are valid but it is also our responsibility to cope with things in a healthy way in order to not just pass that stress and frustration along to others around us. If people can’t do that, then they shouldn’t be having children.
I’m so grateful that my mother wasn’t a piece of shit. I mean, she has her faults. She voted for the shitbird three times, thus ending our relationship (I won’t speak to her because of it), but she really tried. She wasn’t abusive. She sucked and piled on baggage from her own bs, but it wasn’t really her fault; she just had shortcomings.
Meanwhile, I watch bodycam videos on youtube and feel horrible for some children. Thanks, Mom!
my mum
Imagine they bring you to this suffering planet against your will and then give you this bullshit. Wow just wow 🤩
Do any of us have a will to go against before we are made? If we have no will, can it be gone against?
“Without consent” would be a far more technically correct way to put it, and still convey most of the same emotional weight.
But worrying about the technicalities of communication instead of the intended message is all sizzle and no steak. Communication is about communicating; and the listening part is too.
“Without consent” would be a far more technically correct way to put it, and still convey most of the same emotional weight.
How is it any more “correct?”
What is the meaningful distinction between “will” and “consent”, here?
Whether a child “wants” to be born or not is a meaningless question, no matter which word you choose.
Same goes for consent. You have no ability to do anything before you exist, because there is no you, unless you believe in having a soul or attachment outside of our plane of existence.
But yes, at the root of it all: You may not have chosen to be here (or maybe you did and you just don’t remember and don’t like your experience now), but perhaps you can make the most of your short time present.
Welcome to Earth and try to enjoy the ride. Nothing seems to be permanent.
It’s not like I asked to be born, jeez. That’s like deciding to get a dog and then be surprised that it actually takes work to care of it.
That guy is NOT a teenager
It was in 1950
It’s not like I asked to be born, jeez.
Should have cleared out of the line for someone who did.
bring it up with god or the universe, you’ll only get crickets here.
Unfortunately some people are like that.
Not some - a lot.
So many LGBTQIA folk have a story.
yep
That’s pretty much every narcissist’s view of having kids. That you owe them something for just making you exist.
Exactly, parents owe the children they bring into this world a safe and happy childhood, the child owes the parent nothing…nothing.
