This is definitely why I sit to pee and it has absolutely nothing to do with being an egg at all.

Start holding your breath when you walk into the bathroom. Breathe out and start your flow.

“weener”?

The wise learn from the knowledge of their elders. Heed my words younglings: Don’t push too hard to try to start. It might push out a massive noisy fart… Or worse

So I don’t really worry about getting caught “not peeing” or whatever, but I do often take a moment or two to get started… and I also frequently attend concerts.

I never worry about being watched, but boy do I feel like a jackass sometimes taking thrice as long as everyone else when there’s a line out the door between bands…

bullshit. you dont have to sit pissing in a stall

I could write a lengthy essay about how the design of modern western public bathrooms reflects our social hypocrisies, inconsistencies, and social ills. In fact I have been gathering thoughts for a while now with plans to do so.

And I too opt for a stall whenever possible, I’m a cis-presenting man but I still don’t feel safe enough at a urinal for the pee to flow. But this stuff is often invisible to those it doesn’t affect adversely.

Hah, I’ve literally been there. Imagine a 9’x9’ prison cell with two men, steel bunk “beds”, and a solid steel toilet. Also, you’re high on suboxone because there’s not much else to do in prison.

You’re a grown man, standing facing the toilet with wiener in hand, with another grown man’s head like 3 feet behind your ass. Standing there for what feels like eternity. And you’re thinking “Oh shit. He’s going to think I don’t know how to piss or something. This is weird. His head is way too close to my ass. Fuck, I’d better not fart. I forgot how pain killers and shit can make you unable to piss. It’s got to be the sub I took. I have to go so bad but I don’t know how to make it work. I did forget how to pee!”

And as you panic, your bunkie finally says something like “What the fuck, dude? Did you forget how to piss?” and all of your fears come true.

Cute comments and all, but is there a psychological explanation?

Here’s some advice I received years ago for this very situation: if you’re struggling to piss due to stage fright, imagine pissing on the head of someone you hate. Really imagine it. Imagine micturating all over their hair (or their scalp), the aghast expression, then them spluttering while trying to mouth ‘What the fuck?’ it does work. I don’t know why it works - and I most definitely don’t want to know - but it does work.

You’re all most welcome :)

Sitting or, more precisely, squatting is all in all more healthy for your prostate as well.

I wish I could sit down when I pee, but my dick and balls are so long they get dunked when I do so. 😔

I’m arguably a real man’s man with typical man likes and man opinions but I won’t for the life of my understand this macho stigma against pissing sitting down.

You have no toilet paper at urinals so you put your member back into your underwear with more residual piss on it than you would’ve otherwise, and splashback of piss particulates back onto your pants is also a thing. Especially when you piss in or at somethings that’s not those round specifically purpose built porcelain urinals.

that guy looks like the dad from cloudy with a chance of meatballs lol

This makes me think about when women talk about going into the bathroom and casually chatting, and don’t understand why guys don’t do the same.

The feeling inside a bathroom is fundamentally different depending on the door sign. I kinda wonder if there’s a culture shock for trans people.