I swear, when someone’s talking to me now, I can barely understand what’s happening. I know I’m no spring chicken anymore but I wish I was 16 again lol when I experience things it’s like it’s a memory or like I’m at the back of my head. It’s hard to explain. Every thing here is getting gradually worse over the years. Suffice to say, I’m not looking forward to my 40’s…
That being said I feel like I’m making a big deal out of something most women my age just get on with and put up with for the rest of their lives without complaining
Maybe do a sleep study. Lots of undiagnosed sleep apnea around this age. It gets worse over time. Even if you don’t snore.
edit: feeling déjà vu. Did i recommend this to you before? Either way, most of this is definitely not normal or age related.
They’ve posted this many times and each time insists this is normal for any woman over 30.
How bizarre. Smells a lot like the Sympathy Loophole combined with Munchausen by Internet. This community is like a small town so I’m not sure why they think this will fly. But here we are… feeding the narrative.
See a doctor - this ain’t normal
I have, and was told everything’s normal. I’ve had full blood counts, hormone tests, vitamin and mineral tests, the works.
I dunno if you want a reply from a guy.
I am on meds that have some wild side effects, I know what they are and I can deal with them on small amounts.
At no point have I dealt with more than 2 of them at once.
At no point are they any where near anything you have described.
If they were, I would complain and hopefully change meds or change doctor.You need to continue getting help.
You need to get medical help. Professional help. Not Fediverser.Some of these may be “normal” (I dunno, I ain’t a gal), but all together they are not. And they are affecting your life , so SOMETHING is wrong.
You have enough of a list (as well as enough conviction to argue against the popular comments)… Sounds like you have enough evidence and conviction to find a doctor that can actually help you.
Keep trying, keep working to get help.Hypochondria is still a medical condition, it can still be treated.
But I don’t believe (not a doctor) it actually transverses physical conditions like back pain and vomiting.
So maybe it’s both? Mental health is still medical.Seriously, don’t give up of actual qualified medical help. Keep trying, keep going until you are happy.
This is key: keep going until you get the help you needAnd it took me twelve years to get treatment for andometriosis after monthtly crippling pain. It took me another seven for an ADHD diagnosis. Doctors are mostly shit, especially to women.
You want support for this? Fine. But stop phrasing it like it’s a normal part of aging as a woman.
Your doctors and the tests they’ve run have failed you.
I have a chronically ill spouse, she saw a gastroenterologist for years who did scores of tests and a half dozen colonoscopies to figure out their debilitating GI issues and told them again and again “nothing is wrong, all the tests are normal”
It took getting a second and then third and then fourth opinion until we found a competent doctor who looked at an early series of tests that showed positive and then inconclusive results for gluten intolerance and had because the second battery of tests was inconclusive this was “ruled out” and every provider after that just took it as gospel.
The number of times doctors told her she should lose weight, or exercise, or women just have stomach issues sometimes was infuriating. I watched the person I love most in the world suffer for years with no answer, tried different medicines and nutrition plans at the direction of these doctors. I would not accept that my loved one was just going to suffer mysteriously for the rest of their life. I had to fight insurance companies, doctors, and the overwhelming feeling that maybe they are right, maybe nothing is wrong and they just have to be sick.
We finally found a doctor though that had the wisdom to go “hmm, ruled out because of one positive test and one inconclusive…. That’s slim evidence, let’s test again.” Boom, severe gluten intolerance found. We could stop with a bunch of medicines that weren’t helping and had negative side effects, we could finally put together a nutrition plan that would provide everything they need and not poison them.
And now they are still chronically ill, they can never eat gluten, but we know what’s wrong and we have crafted a life where they are happy and healthy and not constantly suffering.
You deserve that too. Doctors are not infallible gods, they are just some guy that got got a medical degree. You know what they call the valedictorian of the medical class, “doctor” you know what they call the lowest performer that barely scraped by, “doctor.” You might think you’ve gotten the works, but I would have thought shoving a camera up my spouses ass 6 times would also qualify as the works to figure out what was going on in there. Turns out if you are a bad doctor, you can run all kinds of tests and not figure shit out because you are a bad doctor.
Get used to that. Doctors didn’t care about any of my symptoms until I could no longer walk. They only care about what they can see
It’s not about what they can see. I’ve had bloodwork done, and I’ve seen the lab results for myself since I requested to have them printed. I’m no longer going to pursue this because at this point it’ll be like I’m a hypochondriac unhealthily obsessed with her health. I’ve got other things to do in my life. I just need to get on with it and cope with it.
If you’re a hypochondriac, it’s because you’re inventing these symptoms. If you actually have them, it’s an actual problem.
Hypochondria can also include having normal symptoms but making them out to be more of a big deal than what they really are. For example, there’s lots of men who will call a cold “man flu”. That’s a form of hypochondria since most people get colds but deal with them.
There’s more recent evidence that men’s immune systems can be more deeply impacted by flu viruses, causing aches and pains all over their bodies that women don’t usually experience.
Its more than that. Women have a significantly better immune system, and I’m jealous up until the massively increased likelihood of autoimmune disease. Almost all autoimmune diseases occur in women. OP should really look into autoimmune issues.
I know a 20yo woman who has advanced MS with similar symptoms to what she has.
“Man flu” is something women say, not men. It’s because many women think men are ridiculous for feeling like they’re dying when they are sick, thinking it shows that they’re weak. It’s ridiculous and as already said there’s evidence that men do get a lot worse than women do in many cases.
That’s gonna eat into your mental health in the long term. Better be careful!
I’ll be strong.
Surely you must understand that the most basic blood tests can’t find everything that can be wrong. There are thousands of tests
Off the top of my head, without getting my magazine-thickness stack of lab result papers I had them print out, I’ve had TSH, hb1ac, potassium, sodium, urea, LH, FSH, prolactin, DHEA, testosterone, androgens, b12, folate, ferritin, full blood count, full white cell count, IgA, calcium, estrogen, ca-125, cholesterol, etc tested.
My white cells have been low since the testing began, but I was told this is normal because as you age your immune system declines.
The standard lab ranges are defined by “at least some people don’t show symptoms of deficiencies or issues or etc at these levels,” not “everyone is guaranteed to be fine in these ranges.” I was “in range” with B12 until I started developing nerve damage from a deficiency of it, with years of symptoms leading up to it that were ignored because I was “in range.” I was “in range” with folate, because the standard lab tests inactive folic acid and not active folate. I was “in range” with ferritin, and yet had significant improvement from taking more iron. I was “in range” with potassium and then ended up in the ER multiple times from hypokalaemia so bad that I could barely move.
You get the idea. “In range” is not the same as “will get no benefit from supplementing it,” but it’s the kind of thing that ideally is done with proper medical assistance if you think you’re deficient in things.
After your latest post i think i know what is wrong. You need to stop staying awake all night. Humans need to sleep.
Tell Thai Ngoc that.
And there is a family in the USA with a genetic abnormality that gives them nearly unbreakable bones. Does that mean everyone should have unbreakable bones?
I don’t have a solution, but just wanted to say that doctors can be very unreliable.
I’ve been told that I’m the textbook case of a healthy man in my late 20s, all the while suffering from balance issues, surprise naps, confusion, weakness, and inability to properly parse speech some 1-4 days of the week.
Obviously one should still listen to the doctors, for who else can we rely on, but to me your situation sounds very “normal” which is definitely not a good thing!
Perhaps get a second opinion by a private doctor? I’m considering it by now…
Best of luck!
Get your thyroid checked.
These are not symptoms of age, they’re indicators that something is not ok in your body.
Everything’s normal, though. I’ve had vitamin, blood count, and hormone tests and was told this is all normal. This is something I’m just going to have to get on with, but I was asking for advice to manage/cope with the things I mentioned.
All I’ve can say is, I’m a woman over 40 and if I experienced those symptoms for even one day I would see every doctor in the state until they figured out what was wrong with me. But it’s your body, not mine, and you should live how you want to live.
Are you 100% sure you’re not experiencing those symptoms? It’s possible you’ve gotten so used to them that your brain’s filtered them out. I know someone who had issues with his spine, and while the issue that would be causing pain is still there, he no longer feels it because he’s used to it.
I am mid thirties and have not experienced anything remotely like that and would be very concerned if I had.Throwing up when you wake up is not normal, neither is this extreme lethargy. You’re 32, not 80
Some of this seems neurological which is concerning and can be harder to get diagnosed. You could ask for some kind of neurological tests or imaging if you haven’t had that yet?
lol, no
This comment is the one that says you’re either posting for attention, is a hypochondriac or something else that isn’t what you’re saying. How do you not see the insanity of your reply? You seriously need professional help, no matter if it’s physical or psychological.
something is not ok in your body.
…or head
I was gonna say that a chunk of that sounds like you’re pregnant. Point is, it’s not normal and you should see a doctor.
Being pregnant for 2 years would be strange. I have seen a doctor and was told everything’s normal.
You better see a different doctor.
I’ve seen several.
None of that has anything to do with you turning 30. Get a second opinion.
I’ve had multiple opinions and all have come to the same conclusion. Einstein once said the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting a different result, and I’ve done that enough already because I have a stack of papers about a magazine’s thickness in lab results.
I’ll just hop in and mention that I have chronic illness that never shows up on any blood test. You cannot test for the conditions I have. It was an extremely difficult process to get any help or taken seriously. Doctors would do the standard tests and be like, well you look ok. But I was extremely not ok. Nobody would help me or care though.
I went through the same phase mentally as you. “Well if everyone is saying I’m fine then I must be fine and just lazy or a hypochondriac.” Dragging myself to work. Passing out while standing. Unable to function. Actively deteriorating month to month. Until one day I crossed a threshold and had a serious life changing medical event, that I still haven’t recovered from. My body forced me to listen, and the severity of my symptoms couldn’t be brushed off anymore.
If nothing else, pay attention to whether your condition is getting worse, or staying the same. If you’re getting worse, please consider seeing a specialist.
25 years is how long it took me to get a diagnosis.
Well, what was it? Can’t leave us hanging.
It was a bunch of stuff, but mostly Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
I’ve also got a chronic disease that took many years to diagnose.
This user has posted multiple times and has insisted it’s because she’s a woman over 30 and is geriatric. It’s interesting.
Sounds more like long covid instead of aging, at least for all the mental stuff. There shouldn’t be a mental decline into your 30’s. Especially not one that severe.
That was my thought too. I’ve been dealing with similar symptoms my whole life, and they got worse after covid.
This eventually led to me investigating histamine intolerance, because viral infections can exacerbate all that. The lifestyle changes I’ve made since then have helped.
Histamine intolerance? I’ll look it up, but I’d love to hear more on that.
Short version is that your body has a digestive enzyme called diamine oxidase that rids your body of histamine. This can be inhibited for a humber of reasons. In which case, certain foods have a lot of histamines that you’ll want to avoid. Avocados and canned fish are a few I had to give up.
Good summary. It’s complex, but a good diagnostic starting point is looking up headache diets that eliminate a huge range of inflammatory foods. It’s very strict, but within a week or two it should be clear whether there’s a difference, then you can proceed to figuring out exactly what your body reacts to, and how to assist the DAO process.
In my case, there’s a genetic basis for low DAO production, so you can confirm it with a DNA test, but sometimes there’s dietary reasons.
Some people get relief by using antihistamines, but I didn’t notice much difference there myself. That might lead you to think allergies are a part of the problem, but not necessarily. You can be negative across the board on allergy tests, and still accumulate histamine in the body if it’s not getting removed efficiently.
I’m about to turn 40, no one I know has experienced this at 30, much less 40. You have something else going on, this isn’t aging, like we have all told you before.
Nothing is going on. I’ve had tests done and seen several doctors, nothing’s wrong.
The fact that you have these symptoms indicates something is going on. If the tests say everything is normal, then they are missing something
So much was tested and I’ve listed off the top of my head a bunch of things that were tested. What do you suppose they could be missing?
Without getting my magazine-thickness stack of lab result papers I had them print out, I’ve had TSH, hb1ac, potassium, sodium, urea, LH, FSH, prolactin, DHEA, testosterone, androgens, b12, folate, ferritin, full blood count, full white cell count, IgA, calcium, estrogen, ca-125, cholesterol, etc tested.
My white cells have been low since the testing began, but I was told this is normal because as you age your immune system declines.
None of these tests would have anything to do with gut disease, for example
I already read what you just copy and pasted. I’m not a doctor. I don’t know what is wrong with you. But if they run tests and tell you everything is normal, then the appropriate response is to say “I don’t care if the tests say everything is normal, I still feel like shit.”
I’d say “I’m being silly and need to get on with it. Even my family have told me to stop complaining about my health.”
Of course your family has told you to stop complaining. Hearing someone moan about their poor health is annoying and boring. We don’t want to hear about it either, hence all the comments you are getting here telling you to stop making posts trying to normalize your clearly abnormal condition. We don’t know what is wrong with you and can’t help you. You need to see a doctor. If the doctor tells you everything is normal, tell the doctor that they suck big fat donkey dick at doing their job and tell them to refer you to a doctor who isn’t phoning it in.
Changing doctors won’t change the fact the lab results will keep coming back normal, as they have done over and over and over since summer last year.
I ain’t no doctor, but a lot of these are associated with the long covid
I’m thirty and none of this applies to me except the back pain but I’ve had that since my teen years (bad posture)
I think a lot of this could be fixed with self care and medical attention. Live your best life stranger 🙂
I figured that swimming and rock climbing do wonders to improve posture and back pain
I didn’t know that, good tip. I’ve been looking around for a new gym. I’ll look for one with a pool and or rock climbing.
I’m not sure how useful replying to your post is because everytime someone replies you don’t listen to what they are saying and just tell them you’ve done everything that can be done and they didn’t understand that there’s nothing that anyone can do because you’ve already seen doctors and they can’t find anything wrong.
However, I’m going to try anyway.
Without trying to diagnose you, I’m just going to share personal experiences.
First, an easy one:
I thought things I was feeling in my 30’s was just aging, then I had a doctor say something was wrong, tested my thyroid, and diagnosed Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. Before you react and say “They tested my TSH and it’s normal!”, I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about me. I thought my symptoms were because of aging, but discovered that was bullshit.
Next, a much more difficult one:
My wife started having symptoms in her 20’s. Not your symptoms, her symptoms. She started seeing doctors. Sometimes doctors would try things, sometimes they would tell her she should see a shrink.
She did see shrinks, multiple times. They told her she didn’t have any mental illness and she should go back to looking for a medical solution.
Her issues progressed. She couldn’t work anymore and had to sell her optometry practice and go on disability. She continued to search for a doctor who could help. She did her own research to learn about what could be happening. She started teaching her doctors about what was wrong.
We saw doctors up and down the east coast. We went to Johns Hopkins. We went to NIH facilities. We flew across the country to see a doctor in LA. Some doctors came up with things that helped a bit. Some tried for a long time, but then ran out of ideas and gave up. No one had a permanent solution.
Our youngest child, in her 20’s, went to see a doctor about joint pain. That doctor tested her for something and the test came back positive. That disorder is genetic, and it matched some of my wife’s symptoms. My wife got tested, and her test was positive. Now she gets a treatment for that and it is starting to help. She can walk more, do more. She’s started to imagine she might be able to do things like drive a car again.
My wife has been seeing doctors about her health problems for longer than you have been alive. Ultimately, it was a doctor treating our daughter who identified the test she needed. No other doctor in more than 30 years thought of that test.
My point is, when people tell you you have to see other doctors, YOU HAVE TO SEE OTHER DOCTORS. When people tell you to do more tests, YOU HAVE TO DO MORE TESTS. If you give up, no one is going to help you. Stop whining about how hopeless it is, get off your ass, and do the hard work of taking charge of your healthcare.
FYI, this person has posted this same question over and over, and hasn’t seemed to absorb any of the answers.
And deleted all their comments too.
By the way, wherever happened to the age-gap relationship poster?
This sounds very good, what did I miss? Does lemmy have a lemmy community drama community yet?
There was a poster who’d ask what we thought about age-gap relationships, spin elaborate relationship scenarios, rage-bait by insisting that any gap of more than about 2 years was disgusting, argue with anybody who said otherwise, delete the post, and then post something very similar days or weeks later. Very similar MO to this poster, coincidentally.
This is such a specific manifestation of mental illness. I know I shouldn’t be but I’m fascinated.
They would also go on rants about how heros are bad because they lie to people about their secret identity.
Wish they’d go do it on 4chan or whatever weird corner of the Internet weirdos have scattered to now
So I’m lost. What would a bait post gain the poster?
You keep posting this and everyone keeps saying it’s not normal. It is a big deal. I’m over 30 and I kayak, hike, have infinite hobbies and still take courses in my spare time on everything from writing to chemistry to french. My friends are the same.
Find another doctor, and if that one doesn’t solve it, find another doctor, and stop posting this. It’s shitty to assume women are supposed to fall apart after thirty.
I’m a woman in my mid 30s. I work 48 hours a week, attend school in person, train jiu jitsu, and deal with all the normal life shit that comes with living alone and having to keep my home clean and my cats and I alive and fed. I also do all that while suffering from migraines and having ADHD.
Am I tired? Fucking yes. Am I managing? Also yes.
My life is so much better in my 30s than in my 20s. If any young woman is out there reading this, your 30s is not the threshold to decrepit haghood, it is fine.
Reading this with chronic illness rn. Can we trade😭 I wish I had this much energy ever.
Same! One cup of coffee in the morning is more a routine than a need, and I barely touch alcohol unless it’s a special occasion. I cook 99% of my own food from fresh ingredients and go for daily walks.
My thirties are awesome, I spent most of my twenties with undiagnosed crippling pain and ADHD. Now I’m on the right meds and feel great.
My 20s were spent in a horrible relationship that was like a frog in boiling water. I didn’t realize how terrible I was being treated until I got out of it and I’m still dealing with the fallout and the trauma, but I’m fucking free! And in the midst of all that I had undiagnosed endometriosis that the doctors kept dismissing and I also had undiagnosed ADHD.
In my 30s I got out of that relationship, got diagnosed with ADHD, and found a doctor who took my endo symptoms seriously and did surgery (all the best things in the world to her, she saved my sanity and my life).
My 30s are not easy, but my 20s were a cage and my 30s is doing what I want and feeling healthier doing it!
Man, I feel the same way. I didn’t self advocate and didn’t have the self respect to find good partners through my 20’s. Now I’m loud as fuck and healthier for it.
I’m glad you’re doing better. Sometimes we gotta shovel shit before we reap the fruit.
Lady in her early thirties with a major heart condition, here. I work 40 hours a week, walk a few miles a day, and hike on the weekends or go to concerts.
Life is what you make it, and I’m tired but I wanna have fun
For your energy levels, do you drink energy drinks? Caffeine makes me feel nauseous, so for me, they’re off the table.
And I’ve had several doctors do bloodwork, and everything’s come back normal. My white blood cells were a bit low, but they’ve been like that for at least a year. I was told it’s normal though, because as you age your immune system does decline.
Doctors are idiots. I have no idea how many I’ve gone through by now to get my diagnoses. There have been whole studies on how doctors are more dismissive of women as well.
I don’t do anything for my energy levels except eat healthy, normal food. One thing I do notice is the more I work out, the more I want to work out over time. If I don’t start my day with some kind of activity or go for a walk at some point, I’m less active and cognizant later in the evening.
How long does it take for you to get out of that feeling of coming to after general anesthesia when you wake up?
Are you trolling now? Why do you phrase your questions like this applies to everyone when people keep telling you it’s not normal?
I wake up naturally at 6-7am, happy and healthy.
It is normal. The several doctors I’ve seen have told me it’s normal and my own family have told me I need to stop complaining about my health and to get on with it.
They assume you are exaggerating and/or are dismissing you because they don’t know how to help you
Can you understand people are stupid? I have narcolepsy and feel exactly like you do. My parents still think I’m just depressed and will eventually get over it. I’ve had multiple neurologists see my symptoms and think the best thing to do is nothing. My current neurologist (I’m on my 3rd) finally gave me an EEG and MRI for possible stroke and seizures. Doctors will look at you and just see a young woman and think it is impossible for you to have any health issues. You have to fight to get care. You can’t resign yourself to this life.
It isn’t normal, and you trying to convince everyone that it is normal also isn’t normal.
Attention seeking behavior. They need to switch doctors, maybe get a FNP since they’re more informed, assuming this is a real issue and not made up for attention.
Do you live in the USA? That might be the reason. You a spring chicken relative.
Please learn from my spouse.
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Vomiting in the morning may be a sign of Helicobacter pylori infection. Not everyone is affected the same way, and it’s a very common infection. My spouse and BIL both had it. He got ulcers. She vomited every morning. 2 weeks of big deal antibiotics ended it for both of them. Life has been better ever since.
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Early Perimenopause can and does happen to some people AFAB. But everyone AFAB will experience it one day. The Ologies podcast did 3 episodes recently about menopause and perimenopause. Please listen! Even if you aren’t in it now, one day you will be. Might as well learn about it since you’ll have to advocate for yourself to doctors.
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