This didn’t happen to me.

  • palordrolap@fedia.io
    0·
    1 month ago

    Insufficient information for meaningful answer. Are we talking full on mud volcano here, or are we talking about an unwelcome fart nugget?

    For the latter, the nugget’s going in the toilet, I’m scrubbing my undies with toilet paper as best I can and then I’m leaving ASAP because I no longer trust my lower gastrointestinal tract. Yes, I’d continue to wear them. No I wouldn’t use water. I don’t like going commando and I’m not going to wear soggy undies for the sake of a nugget.

    For the former, I’d probably get to and then hide in the bathroom and do whatever I could to clean myself up. Probably try not to cry. If alcohol’s involved, fail at that (though I didn’t start drinking until 18, so this is moot). Soggy clothing no longer optional.

    Then I make an escape checking for any trails I might have left from ground zero to the bathroom on the return journey to the way out. I may take the coward’s way out and not claim any knowledge, but I’d be convinced that people would know it was me, and there’s a good chance I’d be right.

    But I know I’d want out of there ASAP.

    • kibblebits@quokk.auEnglish
      0·
      1 month ago

      The host recognizes that leopard print pantsuit as their mothers and begins to attack.

    • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@feddit.ukEnglish
      0·
      1 month ago

      Good first step. I’d probs also prewash the undies in the shower, bin them after, and, if possible, get back into my own clothes going commando.

      If I’m with a friend I trust, have them stage a bit of horseplay and play it off like we got wet being crazy in the bathroom. Go back to the party.

  • xkbx@startrek.website
    0·
    1 month ago

    Step out and sing as loudly as you can “every body and every where! Shit your pants and underwear! With a shake and a jiggle, wiggle that turd like a fiddle!”

  • Dayroom7485@lemmy.world
    0·
    1 month ago

    This didn’t happen to me.

    Imagine OP in the broom closet with shit-stained pants while the party’s roaring outside.

  • FRYD@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    0·
    1 month ago

    Leave. Straight up irish goodbye. There’ll be more parties if you don’t have a rep for literally smelling like shit. Toss the underwear on the way home.

    • MrShankles@reddthat.com
      0·
      1 month ago

      I don’t care if I don’t have a ride or how far I would have to walk. Just start walking. Hell, I’m not even worried about being abducted, cause I already shit myself

      • vrek@programming.devEnglish
        0·
        1 month ago

        I’m just picturing walking home and a van pulls up. Guys with guns jump out and scream “get in the van!”

        “whats that smell?” and you reply “I shit my pants”

        “forget it, get out. We’ll find someone else who isn’t covered in their shit… And we’ll send you the bill for cleaning our seat!”

    • bluesheep@sh.itjust.works
      0·
      1 month ago

      I’ve heard a story about this after party where things were getting a bit raunchy and at some point they where sitting naked on the couch. Apparently one of the guys kind of shit himself and he decided to just not move an inch. When everyone else took a smoke break, he left the party and with that an accompanying shit stain in the couch.

      Needless to say that he didn’t really get any new invites after that

        • bluesheep@sh.itjust.works
          0·
          1 month ago

          Ngl that would’ve been the better choice

          Steal the cushion, wash it at home, bring it back pretending it was some kind of weird drunk prank, no one would be the wiser

          • Steve@startrek.website
            0·
            1 month ago

            I mean, if bro returned my cushion all fresh and clean and apologized for shitting on it I’d be like damn this motherfucker is responsible