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a coffee lover knows difference
I never met them in the office. The coffee drinkers in my office are just drowning their coffee in milk and sugar.
That’s the only way to get down most office coffee, and sometimes even that isn’t enough.
IMO, a lot of cheap office coffee isn’t palatable (or nuanced enough to bother taking straight) unless you doctor it up like that.
Dark roast and even some medium roast tastes like fireplace ash, decaf tastes like vegetable root farts and/or chemicals.
You are not joking. One of my favorite diners served Lavazaa which was always roasted to hell in order to bring out distinct “cigarette ash” notes. Needless to say, I didn’t go there for the coffee.
I really want to know if I’m doing it wrong or something. Maybe different brew methods that I don’t do, magically don’t pull out the burnt flavors??
As far as brewing goes, I’m not entirely in the know but I do have an idea. Anecdotally, I have found that you get different results with pour-over filtered, un-filtered (moka pot or french press), coldbrew, and espresso. I’m sure there’s something in there to do with heat, pressure, time, and how that impacts the extraction of different compounds. I’d change your brew method - you’re probably onto something there.
Generally work coffee seems like just get me through another day of this shit medicine.
You think these people drink coffee for the flavor?
They’re addicts.
I drink coffee every day.
Flavour is certainly extremely important.
I have never met anyone that likes coffee on the first try. I’m not saying they don’t exist, I’m just saying most people acquire a taste for it the same way they do with alcohol.
I mean with that last bit… I mostly enjoyed the taste of alcohol from a young age.
coffee does genuinely nothing to me except make me unable to sleep at night. dont get the people that are depending on it daily
The guys at work used to give me energy drinks, strong coffee and caffeine gels in the hope of making me buzz.
I don’t know if I’ve got a natural tolerance, or maybe because I eat a lot of dark chocolate I’ve built up a resistance. Caffeine doesn’t do anything to me.
Also apparently it’s not good to down a whole mug of coffee in one go. They used to find it funny when I did that. I don’t like coffee but I’ll drink it if you give it to me.
Coffee doesn’t even do that to me, nor does any caffine. Hell I can drink a monster energy right before bed
A likely indicator of ADHD
I tried coffee once, I do not recommend. I couldn’t sleep for two days and was extremely anxious, could not focus on anything. Strongest chemical I’ve tried, bar the sleeping potion for the wisdom teeth
half the world runs on coffee, a 3rd on tea, a quarter on energy drinks, and a probably an 8th on amphetamines
what are you twelve?
I was 23 then
sorry about your genes
my reaction is due to genetics ?
A reaction this strong probably is. But it’s ok, don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t.
it might be that one of your drug-metabolizing enzymes doesn’t work properly, tell your doc, there are tests for that
if it was true it’s abuse~
Just like corporate governance.
LinkedIn lunatic material
Well it would have to be real and not a “lawyer meme” as well
If this was remotely true the
Looked ashamed of his natural biology
Would 100% be the psycho misreading this:
This is awful, but God so hilarious ( besides the weird psychopathy ) but as a senior prank or something it would go hard
I remember this “prank” scribed on some BBS or web page from the early 2000’s, possibly even the 90’s.
Everything old is new again!
read so many variants as well.
still a shitty thing to do to people
Making things up and sharing them on the internet?
Next up: toilet paper allowance based on committed lines of code
From the moment I understood the weakness of my biology, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of the boot. I aspired to the purity of Corporate Governance. Your kind cling to your caffeine, as though it will not crash and fail you. One day the crude occupation you call a “job” will be laid off, and you will beg the Government to save you. But I am already saved, for profits are immortal… Even in death I serve the Shareholders.
I hate how much sense this makes. Well, I guess the original is meant to be satire in real life so whatever
Adeptus Mechanicus from Warhammer 40000
“From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the blessed machine. Your kind cling to your flesh as if it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass that you call a temple will wither, and you’ll beg my kind to save you.But I am already saved. For the machine is immortal. Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.”
What’s crazy is that last line sounds like mere romantic sentiment until you read up on 40k lore.
Given that the Omnissiah is the only God I actually involve irl at times, I have to say it is a little bit of a romantic sentiment.
Knowledge is life.
What like this quote is narrated over a lovense commercial?
No, romantic in the “I love god” and embracing the majesty of a wonderful universe sense. In 40k lore, it actually means stuff like this.
Although if automated sex toys were a thing in 40k cannon, they would almost certainly be the domain of The Adeptus Mechanicus.
He’s going to feel so silly once he learns the concept of rust.
Fuck caffeine, it’s MATH TIME
Decaf still has a fair amount of caffeine. This is clearly fake.
Decaf has very* little caffeine.
People would notice within 6 hours. Source: had this happen to me, got a raging headache despite coffee, left office to go get some
Yep! Decaf gives me a huge headache.
Are we sure that this wasn’t written by Dwight K Schrute?
Dwight would have been drinking beet juice, not Red Bull
While whispering to himself “a warrior’s energy drink”
Fair point. Wait. That is exactly something Dwight would say. Nice try.
The weird control kink aside, this does sound like a pretty funny office prank provided there’s no really important work going on
